She reminds me of days spent in summer,
The early morning sun staining my skin,
Early morning,
Dew still blankets the grass beneath my feet,
It glistens like her eyes,
I smile at her smile, her smiling at me,
I remember racing down hills,
Oh how she makes my heart race,
When I can't run anymore, the fall, the loss of breath,
The earths embrace, she is it.
She reminds me of my youth,
Of a time when time didn't matter, when joy was found in everything,
I found everything in her.
Impossible to place, the day I bordered up my heart like some rundown orphanage,
Built up walls of hostility and stone to keep the ****** thing from hurting anymore,
But,
You were an unstoppable force and all I had were walls,
You tore them down like the school on Coleridge Street after it caught fire,
I didn't stand a chance,
I hope you'll take a chance on me.

She reminds me of days spent in summer,
I want to spend winter with you.
Hibernate in each other's arms,
Freezing, were I frozen,
We could freeze together but that your touch is fire, burning my skin,
You thawed me out and left me vulnerable,
A raw nerve,
You are ice cream on sensitive teeth and I don't want to stop biting,
You shock me, set electricity coursing through my veins,
I feel alive!
You're my defibrillator,
If you were mine.

Cold is vague.

From sharing sheets and waking in sunlight,
Your fingers, fire dancing across my skin,
Each day was greeted with a smile,
Each day greeted with you beside me,
Warmth was nothing, overlooked,
Taken for granted,
Taken without a care.

From strangling sheets and waking in a cold sweat,
The wind, cutting flesh to the bone, chilling,
Each day perceived with a sigh,
My breath misting the air.

Cold is vague,
It is the thoughts in my head,
Set on a loop,
Replaying in my dreams every night,
And when I wake,
It's like there's ice on my pillow,
Cold envelopes me.

Cold is your sudden attacks,
Words wielded like a scythe,
Reaping the hope I had built at the idea of us,
Cutting me down.

Cold is vague,
It is the accusation in your voice,
The shoulder you turn to leave me staring at your back,
The echo of your departure.

It is summer.
Though I see the sun,
The sun does not see me,
The sun does not know me
And though I see the sun,
I no longer feel it.

Cold is vague and leaves you brittle.

These are the things that break me;

The things that take me apart,
They dwell in my head,
They poison my heart.

The look in his eyes,
As I fail to be,
The standard of son,
He expected to see.

These are the things that break me.

The absence of any,
Who could help with the pain,
Grasping at air,
Searching in vain.

These are the things that break me.

The hatred I feel,
The anger I know,
Burning inside,
With nowhere to go.

These are the things that break me.

The thoughts in mind,
Keep me from sleep,
I am a prisoner,
They plan to keep.

These are the things that break me;

The things that take me apart,
They dwell in my head,
They poison my heart.

These are the things that break me.

I see you,
As I see you somedays,
Burned upon my retina,
It's how the demons play,
They torture me,
With thoughts of you,
The person that,
I thought I knew,
But I thought wrong,
Now all I do,
Is think of how,
It wasn't true,
The friend I thought,
I'd never lose,
Left me with,
A mind stained blue,
To match a heart,
That's missing you.

I once knew a person
Who made me feel okay
I told them everything
They told me they would stay
Imagine my surprise
When on that dreary day
They told me to forget
And went their separate way.
          
I once knew a person
Who kissed me in the rain
Told me that they loved me
So much it caused them pain
Imagine my surprise
As I stepped out of that train
And saw that person kissing
A man without my name.

I know a certain person
He knew some people too
They told him many things
That he believed were true
But now he knows they weren't
And now his mind is blue
And now that certain person
Has one last thing to do
I want to stop this all from happening
To one as kind as you.

Alone but not for the constant ringing in my ears, the echo of your voice fading quickly to follow you into oblivion and leave me entirely alone.
I see your ghost sometimes, and would believe it to be if not that I knew you still drew breath, leaving me to question whatever sanity I retained after your departure from my life, be it I retained any at all, perhaps I am truly and utterly out of my mind,
Except that I'm not, I'm trapped in here, with these thoughts and memories that keep me from sweet unconsciousness, no, I don't deserve the peace, or at least some deity has decided so, for no matter what I attempt to combat this incarceration, I fall short of the mark and remain shackled, with one last question upon my lips... 'Will I never be free?'
Minutes to hours, hours to days, I drift through this pitiful excuse of an existence, haunted by the thoughts formed inside my mind, I am limited in emotion, in expression, the only one to come easily is anger, red hot and merciless, I want only but to destroy and it never entirely fades, that anger, that rage, it bides beneath the surface of my skin ready to erupt at the smallest thing.
I question the validity of my being human, at times I feel more like the manifestation of anger, were my skin red I would have no doubt... What am I? I feel like a time bomb, ticking away until the moment I go off and **** everything too close, in my darker moments of thought I see those killed as nothing but collateral damage, I do not care for the lives taken, and this in itself leads me to want an end to my own, before my time runs out and I incinerate those around me in a white-hot fury...