Pleasant surprises never come to me and
Pessimism is how I learned to survive
So forgive me if I show doubt my darling
I haven't felt this happy for a very long time

poetry should be you, on paper
in black and white
italic and bold
truth of some kind
or lies told to illustrate a story

doesn't matter, really
since poetry is transparent
opaque, solid or wavering
poetry should be fluid
weaving through the fingers and threads
of the lives of those
who have yet to be truly touched
by their own words

poetry should convince them all
to speak up
and listen

It is hard to write in pictures, when you appear in sounds
How the damask light seeps through awning head space
When halcyon winter days end in minutes,
and you disappear everyday, without fail
Is it cruel that death and love are so mutually aligned
or is it bitter contempt of love that makes it appear so
Could you love me in death as I loved you in life
and is it on that pretense that your only answer is no?

You are the only one
Who knows the secrets of my youth.
You were the only one
Who I could tell the truth.
You know all my shame
But this isn't love.
You are the only one
Who can touch me in that way.
You were the only one
Who I did not push away.
You know his name
But this isn't love.
You are the only one
Who can kiss me in the rain.
You were the only one
Whose kiss did not cause pain.
You know I was framed
But this isn't love.
You are the only one
Who can hold me in bed.
You were the only one
Whose touch I did not dread.
You know who's to blame
But this isn't love.
You are the only one
Who seems to understand.
You were the only one
Who could ever hold my hand.
You know what he claimed
But this isn't love.
You are the only one
Who came close to "together".
You were the only one
Who I could see forever.
You felt the same
But it wasn't love.

Here we are,
You're in my world.
You're far away from home.
You look towards the place
You once roamed longingly,
While I sing songs of harmony
Among lilies that sway in the breeze,
A life of ease for me, when you
See no beauty in the sunshine
That streams down on my laughing face.
I exclaim how I love this place,
Friends come to join in my clamor,
As you quietly stammer,
"Take me home."

the water in
the bird feeder
is frozen.