To the only man I could never write poetry for -
I’m sorry and I love you and
I wish I could invent a new language
and create every word I need
to describe how I feel for you.

I wrote so many love poems
for boys I did not love.
The metaphors and feeling -
just red flag warnings
I painted to appear as roses.
I wish I would have saved
every sacred word for you.

You tell me you love me
and the words drip like honey -
sweet and sticking to my memory.
You and I will be crystallized in this moment,
forever present in the forefront of my mind.

Answer my call
For you are the wild one
I search for in any open crowd
No map or compass can guide me -
you are within me
as I am you and,
you are me and so we
are love
e v e r l a s t i n g
evergreen
you are
everything
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me?
I am with you

Part 1

We fell in love without meaning to -
Or, maybe we meant to.
It was one of those experiences,
where your body knows something before your soul does,
and suddenly you’re in front of a beautiful boy
who you can’t stay away from,
who doesn’t want to stay away from you.
And my god, we’re Persephone and Hades.

No, I don’t think you are the devil.
But, you were the darkness -
all ****** knuckles, scars, and broken spirit.
You collected pain like baseball cards,
Here’s my mother who abandoned me,
Here’s the first girl who broke my heart,
Here’s the woman who used to hit me,
Here and here and here and here -
I wanted to press my lips to your hands,
and whisper prayers into your palm lines,
so you’d have them with you when I…
Well, when I could not be with you.

Part 2

Like Persephone,
I could not stay with you.
I am yours today but not tomorrow, darling.
And after staying and going, staying and going, you asked me to stand still with you.
Be mine today and forever after.
You offered yourself as my home,
your heart as my salvation.
Just don’t go back.
But, you see, I couldn’t let go of the world I left.
Or rather, I couldn’t let go of who I left.
So, I told you, Next time. Please, darling,
don’t be angry. I promise to return.
I did not return,
and eventually, I could not return.

I broke your heart
and I was banished back to the Light.
I took your Dark for granted.
With you, I found balance -
I had, for once, peace of mind.
I don’t always want to shine
and my God, I miss your shadows.

I don’t have to be the Stars for you, darling,
just let me be the flame of a candle,
happy to glow in your presence.
Darling, I know,
I should have kept my promise.
I should have stayed.

Heavenly Mother,
Our Lady,
La Virgen ,
oh Mary,
it’s me -
a woman made in your image.
They say I was born a vessel of healing -
a product of divine selection -
and like you,
there is no separating from this blessing.

Men fall in love with me like I am salvation,
and I feel too small to carry their pain.
Mary, how did you protect your heart,
your energy, your magic?
I am not a savior

Mi amor, no soy una santa,
I hold the hands of men and try to explain,
I can’t ignore their pain,
and I feel everything but please,
—Mary, can you stop them
from throwing roses at your feet?
Mary,
do you love them all?

Romeo told Juliet,
Oh dear saint, let lips do what hands do
and he kissed her like a prayer
but she was just sixteen yet
destined to carry Romeo’s prayers -
destined to hold the sins purged from his kiss, his touch, his body,
forever outside of him and always within her.

I can not be any man’s saint.
I am just a woman.

Are you there?
Mary —

In our first life you were the moon
and I was the ocean
and God knows it’s you
who moves me still.
It was never just love for us,
it has always been
gravity.

Baby,
I spent lifetimes loving you from afar.
So when you say you must leave,
my heart does not break once -
it breaks for each form in which
I could not feel you next to me.
Moon and ocean,
Tristan and Isolde,
every star-crossed love
was me and you and
I will not be tragedy again.

Stay with me, darling.
Love me today and every day after
in our sheets, in our home, in our city.
I bargained for this chance
on each deathbed of mine:
Dear father, who art in heaven,
please bring me back once more,
and I promise,
this time I will be different.
Give me this, my only prayer.
Let me love him close,
all the days of my life.

Do you understand now?
I was born knowing you
and I grew trying to find you,
And I will be yours -
whether you stay or go.

I will belong to you
hoping
you will stay.

Some nights I dream
in silent movie sequences.
Y en este mundo sin lengua
amor es el accion solamente.

This is why you are always saving me
in black and white dreams
and I-
I am always running away.

I don’t want to hurt you but,
darling,
I am the monster in your closet
and the audience is screaming:

Don’t save her -

Run.

Don’t love her -

Run.

Can’t you see?
The monster is in bed next to you.