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As the pain just adds up,
I'll be your sponge and soak it in
Feeling it all within
Beneath me and below me
Tired of the Sin
That implements fear into our hearts
Never again will i witness such discouraging misery without having a hand into preventing it.
We're all guilty of pandiculation.
I'm no different, but at least i can attempt to stop some of the ravaging pulses that define our physical state.
We invented habit, but now we're trying to have a ribbon cut to end the ones we dislike the most.
Speaking in rhyme, isn't a crime.
So don't give me them eyes, because I just might
utilize these rhymes.
Not to criticize, but to make you realize
That this mind of mine, is more than yours, & your friends combined.
Call me Dr.Sues, if you chose.
When I let my rhymes loose, everyone is a amused.
Yet you speak "normally", & everyone is confused.
 Oct 2015 sainche micano
L
Untitled
 Oct 2015 sainche micano
L
I've stopped looking for you in the eyes of others
 Sep 2015 sainche micano
Mikaila
It's funny how you meet someone
And suddenly
You like blondes.
I never used to like blondes.
Not particularly.
And suddenly,
I just do.
It's funny
How the imprints of certain souls just
Stay
With you,
Behind your eyes.
How they color the world.
As if the thought
Just bends you toward a stranger
Just the thought
That they look or sound
Or move
Like somebody else,
Somebody
Special.
Why special?
Why her?
Why any of them?
And yet
Even as I try to look elsewhere...
Suddenly
I like blondes.
 Sep 2015 sainche micano
Mikaila
I can feel it.
You'll be the person I wake up about
At 2 am.
The feeling that forces me out and onto the darkened streets
To wander in search of something I can't define.
I will know this city by your name.
I will find its joy and its melancholy because those feelings in me will bay like wolves until I let them lead me home.
Home...
Home is not inside of me, where it should be.
It is someone's eyes, someone's arms,
It could be
Yours
And THAT is the thought that will pull me along the shadowy paths that line the Thames
And through the forgotten alleyways that twist and tangle in the heart of this place.
I will love this city by your name, I know it.
Already I cannot sit still for it.
Already I can feel the mad urge to go, to search, to scour the night for reminders of you
For answers to impossible questions.
It is not an unpleasant darkness that tickles the edges of my mind
But it is
An insistent one.
I know I will not sleep when I am home
But rather follow this craving to some new, lonely place
And fill it with the expansion of my soul that comes with passion.
I need these empty places when I feel the echoes of love swell within me
Because I no longer seem to fit into the world
There no longer seems to be enough space for me.
Questing inside as I am
For evidences of love
Of safety
Of home,
The ache in me soon and easily becomes
Just too vast to sit with
Too full of motion to remain still around.

Lead me somewhere tonight.

Lead me to a temporary home
And let me breathe in cold, dark air as I try to sate my need for comfort
For contact
Help me find the roughness of stone beneath my fingers
And the kisses of the wind on my cheeks--
I want to touch the whole world.

There will be
No sleeping with this feeling tonight
And I couldn't
Even tell you why.
I couldn't even give you a reason
Except perhaps
That you have eyes
I could love.
 Sep 2015 sainche micano
Mikaila
Oh, I should be in a church tonight
On my knees.
I want to cry at god's feet
And I don't even
Understand
Why.
I wish I thought there was someone to tell
That I am afraid
That I hold this sea of grief in me
So deep and black,
So rich and full.
It is the grief of worship,
Always has been
And I have never subscribed to any religion.
I wander the streets
So hungry-
Soul hungry.
This is no state
For a warm bedroom and a cup of tea.
This is kneeling on a marble floor
By the light of one candle
In a room so pregnant with silence it seems that you
Are the only thing that ever has been or will be.
This is I want to feel cold, smooth stone beneath my palms
Beneath my cheek.
I want to close my eyes and press into the floor and become cold like it, and surrender.
This is the feeling that crushes tears from me when I hear a choir sing,
Or when I read a beautiful book.
This is god
And I sit here
So still
Full of this impossible, excruciating need
For something that doesn't even have a word because it is too old and too private and too vast.
It rages within me, it presses out and I am so small, just skin and bones
How do I hold this
Within me
Like tears?
I feel like a candle set adrift in the middle of a cold sea at night
That tiny and that fragile.
At my fingertips I can feel the waves
And although I am a flame they are inside of me
And that
Is what I have to face and fear-
Drowning inside out in love, in grief, in joy, in anger-
It makes
Little difference in the end,
Shockingly little.
They all grow like the sea, swell like the sea, crash like it,
All hold their vicious undertows and their satiny surfaces all catch light when I am lucky enough to be in the sun.
I wish I knew
What I would say
If I really could cry at god's feet tonight.
Maybe I would say,
Put me on this earth,
Let, for once, this ground tether me more than my passions.
Let gravity hold me instead of this ache,
Just for a second
Just to remind me
That I am human.

Because it's as if all of my feelings have been drawn up through my skin like ink
All at once
And I am the color of shadows and lonesome murmurs,
I am the taste of winter on the wind,
I am the voice of the trees as they try to sing to the moon in the darkness.
Let me go, please, I can't bear this longing, I can't hold it...
And yet I am in no church,
No soaring hall that echoes with quiet,
And my skin is unmarred
And I am still
As stone
And I will likely remain so
Unable to find any feet
To fall at.
Someone once told me,
"Find someone who puts the stars in the sky just for you."

"Don't be ridiculous,"I said,
"The stars have existed for billions of years;
Stars are dead, made of chemicals.
They can't even knew that we're here.
They don't know we survive.
They have seen more profound love than ours.

Stars do nothing for us, hell, they don't even shine that bright.
They just twinkle in the distance,
They have nothing to do with us.

How could I find someone
Who can put a gargantuan ball of gas
In a vacuum that we don't even know truly exists?

I would prefer someone who
Is smarter than you, and who knows that all I would really like is a good cup of tea."
These **** poetic people, being all vague and silly. Don't they know, that the real answer is always tea?
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