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I don't know where to start
I'm breaking my own heart
This is so hard
becuz I love you darlin
If only somehow i could be there
with you I swear I would
be there lying next to you right now
letting this all out how I feel inside.
Ever since I met you I felt something so different about you
And even tho we was so many miles apart i felt so close something so special about you opened back up my heart
You touched me with a feeling of your sweet loving arms that could reach
right out and pull me close and just hold me for awhile as we talked for hours and hours on the phone.
How do I still endure this grueling test?
I guess that's why I smoke so much
but I can't use it to connect
I simply abuse it's elusiveness
heartbruises I lose it
so I cloud all of it's lucidness
I will never get used to theft...

Especially if you take my daughter from me..

That's indeed the way to fuel my death
but here's a never changing fact
she's my daughter, and she inherited
questions, some will be answered
untill my side of the truth is said

and that's why you'll never take her completely away from me
and that's why she'll never be able to completely break with me

And truth be told our marriage was more of a fusion
I would never wish what I feel now.. and what you do upon you
so why do you question me if it all was an illusion?
The closed door
That replaced you
Is lacking in your allure  
But in having a handle
It's much more secure
Mouth pressed on my mouth
Blood falls on snow

Words that buzz through skin
Stir my face

Surface finally engulfs mast
Restored now; it looks the same  

First absence of lips
New, chilled air
against pulsing ventricle

A piano whose keys are dusty
Now finger marked

My constituents begin to cluster
With yours
In humid gaps that cleave faces
Back into lines
I can keep what I can grasp

Two glinting shoals have quietly met
In some peaceable black depth
From which air has withdrawn
Press my mouth to that mouth
Blood against fresh snow
Ana
I still find myself wanting you.

Why is it that I feel so good inside when absolutely nothing is inside of me?
Something I found in my old papers from 2011.
 Apr 2015 sainche micano
Aditi
Tell them about the time you spent your day looking for a rock to live under, tell them how your soul seeks an understanding that is nowhere to be seen in his eyes.
Tell them about the time you stuttered while talking to the guests your mum invited
How you kept wanting to say sorry cause that Is the only emotion you ever feel these days
Tell them about the time you laid on your bed all alone
Seeing nightmares with open eyes
Tell them how everyone that left and everything you love
Comes back to haunt you every night
Tell me how you stopped talking to your friends
To avoid their snap out of its
Tell them about that one time your teacher asked you where do you see yourself in 10 years and
You imagined yourself rotting in an abandoned house
Tell them how you feel like an abandoned house; a graveyard where people come and bury their broken dreams and forget to re-visit
Tell them how you try to give everyone what they want and at the end of the day when you are alone
You just don't know who you are or who you want to be
Tell them how you can't remember how or why it went this bad
But only that no one helped you prevent it
Tell them how the only thing you can do from falling apart is
Write these gibberish talks
Tell them how you wonder if you are that good at putting a facade
Or the number of damns they give is dwindling
Tell them how you think it is the later
Tell them how you feel so hopeless when you hear your parents talk about what is wrong with you
Tell them how you think you doomed them by walking into their lives
Tell them how what once was can never be that way again
And how every time the wind blows you feel it tearing you apart at the very seams of your being
Tell them how you are more cracks than skin
And how
Everything they say
Or everything you had drained out
Now you are just a void.
Notes (optional)
Keep your little light on
He flees a fickle Titan
Of heat
and might
and deep creeping fights on
Heaped upon rights and
Steeped too long wrongs

With half breaths
and a fast head
He shall come doubting, red
And, in mounting your bed
He needs to see your light on
To keep the feeling of right from
Speaking to those bygones
That thieve a man's head's spread
Until it's devoid
Of a position, avoiding
Decision
on pointing
Wrong from right
To stop
To not, become sights of
Long nights of
Young despite
Or grave delight

And you warrant respite
And more deft addresses
Than torrents of best guesses
from some boring, left messes
We’d moved on in to a clifftop house
When our babe was very young,
I had to ***** a barbed wire fence
To keep our darling at home,
For Ellen was a precocious child
With a beautiful, smiling face,
But for all our efforts to tame her down
It was hard to keep her in place.

She would bounce about, would run on out
The moment we turned our backs,
Many a time I would see her climb
And she’d give us heart attacks.
‘She’s halfway up the chimney, John,
She’s climbed right up to the thatch,’
The wife would cry, and I’d almost die
In bringing our daughter back.

She’d stand awhile by the cottage gate
That led on out to the track,
That wound its way right down to the bay
On a narrow, winding path,
I wired the gate, and I thought it held
Till the day she broke on through,
And made her little way to the bay
Before we even knew.

I found her at the mouth of a cave
That sat just up from the shore,
And breathed a sigh of relief as we
Embraced, like never before,
But she pointed in to the darkened cave
With her tiny little hand,
‘I want to go in the cave with him,
That funny old sailor man!’

‘There isn’t a man in the cave,’ I said,
‘You must have been seeing things.’
‘Oh no! He asked me to follow him
And he showed me lots of rings.
He had a black patch over his eye,
And a ponytail in his hair,
I want to go where the sailor goes,
Will you let me go in there?’

I carried her back up the winding path
Though she clung to me and cried,
‘That cave is simply an eerie place
And it’s cold and damp inside.’
I should have taken more notice then,
I thought it was just a rave,
For days, young Ellen would speak of him,
The man who lived in the cave.

I went to check at the library,
The history of the town,
And read that smugglers used that cave
When nobody was around,
And long before there were buildings there
A smuggler on the run,
Had sheltered there in that dismal cave
With his daughter, Ellen Gunn.

I raced on home to the clifftop house
To find young Ellen gone,
The wife was having hysterics there
And I was overcome.
I ran, pell mell down the clifftop path
It was such a deathly scare,
And searched to the end of that awful cave
And I found her Teddy Bear.

A fisherman on the beach had seen
Young Ellen on the sand,
Then watched as a sailor took her in
To the cave there, hand in hand.
‘I thought that he was her father,’ said
The rustic fisherman,
‘She seemed quite happy to go with him
And he looked a kindly man.’

I must have searched it a dozen times
And I called, and cursed, and cried,
And prayed to god that I’d find my girl
Hid somewhere deep inside,
When out of the depths, she toddled out
Stood still, turned back to the cave,
And that’s when I glimpsed that sailor man,
Who stood at the back, and waved.

David Lewis Paget
 Apr 2015 sainche micano
Sarah K
In the middle of the night
I am wide awake
Craving you
Wanting your love
Needing your love
I've been counting the days since you've been gone
My mind bubbling over with frantic thoughts
An itching under my skin I can't scratch
Sometimes the world seems to disappear
And I'll see you standing right in front of me
But then just as fast you are gone
Then I find myself in a completely different world again
Lying on the floor unable to pull myself up
Or even remember exactly where I am

                       Just one more touch....

                                                     ­                   Thats all I need...
 Apr 2015 sainche micano
Cheyenne
Nobody, nobody
knows what to do.
Life is a mystery
that we wander through--
gathering hints
and interpreting clues.
But nobody, nobody
knows what is true.
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