Playing with an idea
that got tangled in my hands
wrapped around the concept
of all my selfish demands

I'll be the architect
of my own tragic demise
when I'm building my walls
as high as the skies

the simplicity of the silence,
the holy matrimony of the moon and emptiness,
the unforgiving nature of all the broken pieces -
the noiseless abandonment.
do you feel it?

my mother tells me to stop believing so much in the things i cannot see,
so i ask why she believes in my father
and she is silent.
she stopped believing long ago but hasn’t found the strength to claim the brokenness inside her.
the sadness hangs in the air.
do you feel it?

my teacher asks me about fiction and fact and i say
no one is safe either way,
fairytales don’t always have happy endings.
the disappointment lingers in the room for a long while.
can you feel it?

the way things whither away with the passage of time,
the gradual but constant erosion of once important things
like memory and bank accounts and love.
the theory of decay.
do you feel it?
of course not.

the silence forgets that it knows how to speak
so it doesn’t.
my father forgets that he knows how to love
so he doesn’t.
the author forgets how to rewrite the narrative
and so she doesn’t.

the theory of decay.
do you feel it?
because I do.

For what it's worth?
I adore you.
Inspire by you.
More than anything I love you.

For what's known?
The story is known.
Constantly been told.
More than anything it don't need to explained.

Eyes tells the story.
Voices speaks it.
But more than anything I'm a witness to it.

i.
when i read your words about you holding me,
me holding you,
i see them in the shape of your head on my chest, your hands
on my heart and my hands
in your hair, around your wrists, on the back of your neck my face
in your hair these words
smell like your shampoo
feel like your short soft hair feel like your fingertips
on my collarbone your palm on my shirt
feel like us together, feel like us safe

ii.
of course,
this is about you
my good

you're gone.
i can't breathe, without you.
someone tell me what to do now.