So you're in your early twenties.
Two decades and some change down.
Life isn't going as you expected.
You don't live in a studio apartment above the skyline in Manhattan
and your Friends names aren't Ross, Phoebe or Joey.
You blame the economy for your lack of currency and inability to move.
You remain comfortable, because that is what feels okay.
Now, let's stop making excuses.
Realize that your in your early twenties:
It's the perfect supersonic boom of an age.
You are young enough where you still have your morals from adolescence
and have yet to be tainted or jaded by the real world.
Don't worry so much about what your diploma says.
Use what you already know: your ethics, ideology, art form of life
to create something useful within this world.
Be you, not because Drake says you only live once, but because it is common sense.
Don't sit around and wait, hope or pray for something to happen.
It is finally your time to make it happen.
Go out and fail.
For failure is the first step to success,
because you're one step ahead of everyone else
by trying, by risking, by attempting to go out of the comfort box.
So on this very day:
Let's make it happen today.
God, Buddha, Yahweh, Your Krypton Alien Dance or
Whatever You May Believe In--Bless bros & broettes.
Peace.

"Asisstant!", I shouted.
"Yes, sire?", he bellowed.
"Read me the list on the Maturation Process!"
"Ah, I got it right here sire! Right here. Uh, let's see:
Lotion, rub...repeat..."
"Uhh..Assistant, that is the..umm, the wrong---the wrong list. I do believe."
"Oh, oh you said Matur--a--tion.
Under his  breath, "You think a king would need a list for every fraggle thing he does hmphh."
"Asisstant! I do not have all day!"
"Oh, got it sire! I got it right here!"
"Go ahead, read what it says..."

"Ah, hem:
Phase one...
When you are born, you are pure....
"No, no no. Read it how Grandpapa used to read it."
"Ahhh, ahhh, hem:

WHEN YOU ARE BORN, YOU ARE PURE.
The world expects nothing from you,
but your loved ones expect you to be everything.
The cruel trick that nobody tells you:
Only you can decide what you are going to be.
There is no fate without action.
Reaction.
There is no action without desire.
The fire.
There is no desire without love.
Your heart.

Phase two:
You learn appreciation.
Eloquently our superiors call it, "manners".
Manners are what matters most to Man and Her's.
A thank you can change a day.
A helping hand can change a life.
A laugh can lead to a life of love.
It all resides within:
Your heart.

Phase three:
Accepting the cruel world.
Not everyone is the same.  
Not everyone shares.
Not everyone has morale.
Not everyone shares morals.
Ethics, are never prosthetic.
So perfect, your own perfection.
Be you:
For it can be found in your heart.

Phase four:
Ignorance.
We forget what we were taught.
What is this?
We become narcissists,
obsessed with the world around us and how we fit in.
A mix of sarcasim and *******.
Everything is a joke yet all we can think of is ***.
*** without meaning: The best joke of all.

Phase five:
We lie to ourselves.
We forget what our inner-child wanted.
We tell ourselves that this is the correct thing to do,
we are judged on this stick with others surrounded by us.
We create our own manifestation of unruly day in and day out boredom.
We have to listen:
Listen to our hearts saying,
Don't. Don't do this.
Live your dreams.

Phase six:
Accepting of our own death.
We build a life.
Follow a format.
Do this, at this time with this person to be this at this point and so on.
However, if we forget to live: we die.
We must accept the fact that we all will die eventually.
That way we can choose to live.
You will never actually die,
if you open your heart.
For a heart can pass on from person to person.

"Ah, very good asisstant."
"Thank you sire..."
"Now, you're free to go.  Go and live your dreams."

And, as the King sat in his throne.  
The good Asisstant shoved him off the throne and sat in his place.  
They both laughed until they were on the golden tile floor laughing harder and harder...

I have loved Thee with two loves -
a selfish love and a love that is worthy of Thee.
As for the love which is selfish,
Therein I occupy myself with Thee,
to the exclusion of all others.
But in the love which is worthy of Thee,
Thou dost raise the veil that I may see Thee.
Yet is the praise not mine in this or that,
But the praise is to Thee in both that and this.

when we met
well
when you spoke to me
you spoke with such ease
with no boundaries

you were an open book
and i was not

i was yet a closed one
with my pages torn
and the cover stained

and you did not seem to walk away
like most people do
when they see an old book
on a library shelf

but you stayed
and you listened
and you read every page
but why?

"because every story
can be very lovely
or very tragic
and you, my dear

are both"

(b.m.)

My Pillow gazes upon me at night
Empty as a gravestone;
I never thought it would be so bitter
To be alone,
Not to lie down asleep in your hair.

I lie alone in a silent house,
The hanging lamp darkened,
And gently stretch out my hands
To gather in yours,
And softly press my warm mouth
Toward you, and kiss myself, exhausted and weak-
Then suddenly I'm awake
And all around me the cold night grows still.
The star in the window shines clearly-
Where is your blond hair,
Where your sweet mouth?

Now I drink pain in every delight
And poison in every wine;
I never knew it would be so bitter
To be alone,
Alone, without you.

tell me what keeps you awake at 2 am
whether it’s the girl who took the knife of her absence and stabbed it into your sternum
or the loneliness that swallows your skin

play the one song which releases the floodgates in your eyes
and let me listen to it over and over again
until i find which line makes your heart drop to your stomach

describe the story of your body to me
tell me of the invisible scars too
and with each detail you describe
i will make a map
so i know which road bumps to avoid
or which holy sites to fall to my knees and kiss the ground of

remember that
i wear a mask brimming with self confidence and an armor of words that are both easy to tear for they were thin like tissue to begin with
i am sensitive
taking to hurt the way a sponge absorbs water

do not hide me behind closed doors or keep me entrapped in bed sheets
when you walk past me, do not pull your hood over your head and avert your gaze
i need you to look at my eyes as if they illuminated the entire world
and kiss my lips as if they are what allow you to breathe

open the door.
bring me flowers.
because the only boy who did either was my 5th grade boyfriend

be willing to meet my family and friends
for they were the ones who created the marble statue whom you marvel at today

take note of how my heart is a reflection of myself
how she is too kind and will kiss the same man who tore her in two
so please do not say words which will make her wings flutter
if you are not ready to be the nest she flies to

let me know that me, as myself, i am enough
that i do not need to be a chameleon
dipping myself in new colors each day to please you

remember the little things about me
like how my first phrase i uttered was shut up to a man in an elevator or the delight i take in handwritten letters and mix CDs, or the significance of my first tattoo
because everything about you is being etched into the walls of mind
so that i can never forget

trace your fingers with a loving tenderness over my scars from the times i transformed my body into a crucifix
pinning my hands and feet onto a cross out of habit
thinking love was a word synoymous with self sacrifice

you must learn my language
know what zips my lips into silence
know the difference between when i want to give up versus when i will actually do so
and be there to hold me when the seams start to unravel

if you want me to love you
know that many have tried and failed
that people like me are not meant to be soft
if you want me to love you
know that to me
love is not a word you spit out of your mouth and juggle in your hands
you need to promise that our love won’t be like an hourglass
for my body has been disfgured enough from the times my chest turned inside out from the pang of abadonment
if you want me to love you
reaffirm my body is a kindgom, my heart is the treasure, and that i am your queen
paint pictures for me in what you do and say
telling me i am worthy to be loved, worthy to be kept, and worthy to stay

but if you really want me to fall in love with you
tell me what you see right before you close your eyes at night to fall asleep
and if you tell me it’s me
i will fall unfathomably further for you than i already have

In summer's heat and mid-time of the day
To rest my limbs upon a bed I lay,
One window shut, the other open stood,
Which gave such light, as twinkles in a wood,
Like twilight glimpse at setting of the sun,
Or night being past, and yet not day begun.
Such light to shamefast maidens must be shown,
Where they must sport, and seem to be unknown.
Then came Corinna in a long loose gown,
Her white neck hid with tresses hanging down:
Resembling fair Semiramis going to bed
Or Layis of a thousand wooers sped.
I snatched her gown, being thin, the harm was small,
Yet strived she to be covered there withal.
And striving thus as one that would be chaste,
Betrayed herself, and yeilded at the last.
Stark naked as she stood before mine eye,
Not one wen in her body could I spy.
What arms and shoulders did I touch and see,
How apt her ******* were to be pressed by me.
How smooth a belly under her waist saw I?
How large a leg, and what a ***** thigh?
To leave the rest, all liked me passing well,
I clinged her naked body, down she fell,
Judge you the rest, being tired she bade me kiss,
Jove sent me more such afternoons as this.

I stand here 23 chromosomes of a woman because my father isn't man enough to stay by the egg.
I’m built of 205 bones all covered in sorrow because to me I wasn’t good enough for you,
but my mother says it takes a real man to be a father and you,
you’re not a man.
You’re a coward that I have accepted into my life too many times that now you’re nothing but a  ***** donor.
I was your baby girl your flesh and blood till you threw that away for some stupid ***.
I rock your absence from the day you said I wasn’t yours .
Now I see you more like a back stabber.
You said you loved me,
but why would you put your hands on someone you said you loved.
I’m scared with the cuts you put on me and memories that I have nightmares from. You were supposed to be my hero,
my only man in my life,
my first true love,
but instead you’re nothing to me,
I hate you,
I hate your name
I hate that I’m related to you.
You’re an embarrassment, a disgrace! You can never get me back to being your baby girl
I hate you
I hope you rot in jail
and thanks to your stupid selfish ways I have a new man in my life.
He loves me unconditionally. He’s the man you couldn’t be.
He’s the one that held my hand through anything
and helped me ride my first bike without the training wheels. 
All the precious moments and memories that you missed, he made up for.
For that I call him dad.
He’s more a man than you could ever be.
I thank you for not being in my life, Dad.
You have me a chance to know what having a real man and dad feels like.
He replaced you faster than you could say
I’m sorry.

We are not yogurt
Neither are we milk
Nor any other perishable item.
We need not be made
Of fine, fragile silk.

Help me reinforce our supports,
Our columns and beams.
Don't allow ticking time
To rip us apart
At the seams.

That doesn't have to be us.

I like a man with fire in his bones
And where his head should be,
There is a home.

And I wax and wane like the moon
If you turn away you might miss me,
I'll be gone soon.