You looked good
So I picked you out
And I saw that you were beautiful

You were sweet
So I took a bite
And I found that you made me feel good

I was hungry
So I ingested all of you
And I found that you were not what I expected

You were a pit
So I spit you out
And I realized I was a fool for believing you were more

She told me that I will be cold
If I go out with the holes in my sweater
So she patched it up
And I had a whole sweater

She told me we will all be cold soon
Winter was coming
We needed to cover the holes in our sweaters
So we could have whole sweaters

She told me she will be cold
If I don't put her tea in a glass without holes
So I bought glasses without holes
And I gave her her whole tea

She told me she will be cold soon
Because the holes in her were increasing
So she gave me a shovel to fill her holes
So I filled her holes
But I couldn't make her whole
So I dug her hole



She is cold now.

If sleep is the cousin of death
Then every blink is closer to my last breath
And my life is flying fast
Because I wasn't born to last

But I will run until all my nightmares run away
Because I'm afraid of my tomorrows becoming todays
Which are filled with inspiration and debt
Cigarettes, stress, and inherited mess

Cleaning up all the clutter to peace
I will eventually find my release
But when I sleep I see war
And violent things I never bargained for

So I'll stay away till I see red and blue
And my eyes will fight but I will refuse
Because sleep is the cousin of death
But every blink is closer to my last breath

I gazed up at the sky
And I knew it was the end
Of the party of your life
I was gracious enough to attend

The salted sky filled with stars
Made my salty eyes fill with tears
Because I knew while you were up there
The partygoers were down here

So I packed up the party hats
Streamers and all
And the night sky was so vast
But your light was so small

As I drove home I thought
That it came to a close
But the party of your life
Will forever glow

I was always good with directions
And even better with maps
But there was no way to read your mind
Without getting myself trapped

But I tried and tried
To simply open your skull
But I couldn't read anything
As if your pencil was dull

I tried finding a key
Or a way to read your mind
But there were no maps in sight
Did you leave them all behind?

I wondered for days and days
If there was a way to get in
But opening your skull was wrong
Entering your mind a sin

I guess I just wasn't the person
I didn't have the right
And every time I reached for the ****
The door went out of sight

I looked around and asked around
Searching for the key
But nobody gave me the answer
Nobody except for me

I knew why you wouldn't open
It was because of who you were
Because opening your mind was difficult
Your memories were better a blur

So I never tried again
To get into that skull of yours
But once I found your answer
I had the key for the other doors

Every time I wrote on your skin
Each letter kept disappearing
One after the other
Until there was no mark
Made by me
But one day
At the base of your neck
I saw the date
7/23/11
And 27 Club
And I reminded myself
That I will never be
Amy
To you

O.K. here we are
Both drowning in an ocean
Because you can't swim

Eternally trapped
In the soul of your eyes
They are the truth that has mapped
The rest of my life

Both our hearts
Have been crowned king and queen
Because of all the love that surrounds
You and me

Never before
Have I felt this feeling
Brought by a force
Revealing

The truth you possess
The truth was engraved
I am no longer arrested
In that lonely cave
And I have to confess
That for days and days
I dreamt you caressed me
It is you I crave

My eyes are black
Like oil straight from the Middle East
Like abysses as unlit as the souls of the white ones killing who I am
Disks as dark as the top of my flag

My eyes are black
Like the deafening sound after a missile strikes
Like dilated pupils watching an explosion of the white ones killing who I am
Rings as dark as the burnt bread eaten as a meal

My eyes are black
And the white ones say blue eyes are beautiful
And the white ones say my people are not
And the white ones believe that as long as the ink on newspapers say that the white ones are okay, then we are unimportant, thrown into the shadows that are as black as my eyes

My eyes are black
Like the "other" bubble I had to fill in because the white ones say we are not a people
Like the TV screens when the news shows our faces and bodies blown to bits because nobody wants to see that
Like the inside of a mother's eyelids when her son's face and body was blown to bits because she doesn't want to see that

My eyes are black
My eyes are black
My eyes are black
My eyes are Palestine
I am Palestine
And the white ones say I am nobody
But I am Palestine
And my eyes are black

My mouth tasted like mouthwash
Because I didn't wanna taste like you
And I remember you saying you loved me
But you were never my Montague

I still have your number on my hand
Written in permanent marker
We thought this was how long this would last
But every day things got harder

And I know where this will go
Because I've been down this road before
I will walk away just fine
And you will find yourself on the floor

You will tell me you can fix things
Though nothing can be done
And they'll say the pain will be over soon
But, boy, it has just begun

I could have sworn I had the green light
So I sped through the intersection
But I had to think fast
Because of a car coming my direction

My muscles were frozen like ice
I couldn't defend from the attack
So physics did its thing
As everything went black

I awoke in the same spot
With blood trickling out my ears
I couldn't hear anything
But my eyes could see quite clear

The driver in the other car didn't move
And I could tell he wouldn't ever
Even though it wasn't my fault
His life was gone forever

Adrenaline rushed through my veins
I didn't know what to do
I couldn't think so I panicked
Running so fast I flew

This was an unfamiliar place
I didn't know this city
I was blinded by the darkness
Drowning as it swallowed me

All the streets were different
Like I was born again
But I didn't feel alone
For the night was my friend

The silence was so loud
Yet all I heard was my mind
So I wanted to keep running
Until the end of time

There were no obstacles in my path
The streets were completely empty
I thought I would run out of energy
But it was evident I had plenty

And thats when I stopped to see
My moment of truth
I veered off the road
And jumped on a roof

I sat my self down
As I started to realize
That I needed to stop running
And covering the truth with lies

I told myself to face my fears
And in that moment that was when
I began to start all over
Like I was born again

The forest of skeletons
Where each one was naked
And each branch of bone
Had a color dark and faded

Where life was once existent
Is now a flame that doesn't burn
But the desire still exists
For that life to return

What's left is a large perimeter
Of skeletons hanging low
In every visible place
The skeletons refused to grow

But as time passed
A light shined through
The skeletons were no longer naked
As their skin grew

The skin was green
And bright and vivid
Stimulating colors
The light gifted

Flowers grew
On every skeleton in every corner
On top of the forest
Where the climate was warmer

The forest of skeletons
Where each one was thriving
Was now a forest of life
With spring arriving

Ignited
Don't get too close
Or you will be
Devastated

Ignored
Don't hover over
Or you will be
Stung

Bursted
Don't dive in
Or  you will be
Withered

Ignored
As you got too close
Hovered over
Dove in
All you are is
Burned

The day began as a living mausoleum
There wasn't one man that could find light or freedom
From living like dead men without a reason
We needed something to strengthen, not weaken
The unborn revelation
Of feeling defeated by demons
Isn't what we wanted to believe in

We were stiff like statues
We didn't want to die not knowing the truth
The anguish withdrew
The joy and turned into
A feeling we never knew
Faith popped like a balloon
Because hope departed a little too soon

Each of us had one foot in the grave
Our souls were dark like caves
Our minds were lost in a maze
Our hearts began to decay
Our veins bursted like grenades
There was no way to escape
Grief treating us like slaves

Like the moon
You're pulling me to shore
And I can't
Be your ocean anymore

Because of you
Everything went wrong
I don't even like
My favorite song

I'm empty
I've run out of ammo
Even though you're there
I'm talking to a shadow

I'm not buying
The lies that you sell
I won't last
With you I can't dwell

And just now
I've decided to leave
And no longer
Will I be deceived

Maybe I should
Leave a note behind
Just in case I
Change my mind

But I don't
It's not what you deserve
And hopefully
Someday you will learn

Now I'll be
Crying out your name
And I'll just
Drink away this pain

I wake up
In the middle of the night
And realize
I'm trapped

I try to
Free myself from what I'm in
But find out
I'm strapped

I strain to
Untie these ropes I'm bound to
Till I hear
A crack

I listen
To strange sounds that I don't know
And I hear
Two snaps

I feel I'm
Not in a big room
But pact

I feel as if I'm being lowered
Like an elevator
I hear loud sobs and I feel cold
Like a refrigerator
And then it hits me

I woke up
In the middle of the night
And realized
I'm trapped

No noises to make
For people to hear
And no way to react

I try to distract
Myself because I can't
Accept the fact
That

I'm buried alive
And I'm *trapped

Left with spades, clubs, diamonds
Because you stole my heart

The light from your cigarette
Illuminated the path
I knew it would burn out
But I wanted it to last

Walking with you made everything better
You made my feet feel like a bus
Each step was a stop; getting lighter
You made my body feel a rush

You told me that
The present is too dreamy
Unlike the past
Because it is linked with no memory

And I told you that
Although my shell is straight
My shadow is crumbling
And I am held down by its weight

And so we walked on
While you shared your wisdom
And I felt free
Unleashed from my prison

Your thoughts were surreal
I wanted to plant seeds in your skull
Because your mind was so bright
That the flowers would grow

Our steps became synchronized
Together as we walked
And our minds were open
Our secrets unlocked

Then the light from your cigarette
Burned out at last
But the luminosity of your mind
Illuminated the path

Sometimes I'm afraid to say goodbye
Even though there's nobody to say goodbye to
I'm scared of not making it
Even though the only way out is through

I feel like I'm the burnt bulb
In a row of Christmas lights
And I'm not afraid of death
Because I'm afraid of life

I don't need showers
Because I bathe in my tears
And sometimes I wish all of my wallowing
Will somehow disappear

The way I treat myself
To some is unbecoming
But the only way to preserve my sanity
Is to make everything numbing

When I wake up in the morning
My insides feel hollow
And I feel that way till I close my eyes
And I'll repeat that routine tomorrow

Everyone else around me
Seems happy as can be
They've made it through the door of content
For that, I'll need a key

They seem to have all worries behind them
While I'm under a raincloud
I want to be happy like them
But I guess I'm not allowed

I'm going to have to say goodbye
Even though there's nobody to say goodbye to
I'm afraid I'm not going to make it
Because I can't seem to make it through

I am ugly from the skin
But lovely from within

Why can't we see beauty
In all things that die?
Is it because we are afraid
Of saying goodbye?

We see art in the leaves
That fall in the autumn
But they are dying
Descending to the bottom

And we pick flowers
For the ones we adore
And the life in that flower
Cannot be restored

So why do we see beauty
In only some things that die?
Maybe it will always be a mystery
And we'll never know why

You can have the city
I don't want it anymore
So I laid a map of the city streets
Beside your front door
I know it's a large gift
But in no way will it restore
The fact that our attempt at love
Ended in a war

You were the headlights
That guided me through my night

She was clean as paper
Before the poem
Her body was an empty acre
Before the home

Until one day
A man touched her body
She was led astray
Because of his hobby

And so they vowed forever
For her to clean plates
For him to grab his sweater
So he can finally escape

Over the years
I've grown
And I've learned
That plans change
People leave
And happiness is temporary

Over the years
I've seen
And I've heard
That we're alone
Through life
And when we die

Over the years
I've discovered
And understood
That no one cares
Whoever you are
And tears are worthless

Over the years
I've flourished
And I've grasped
That people change
People leave
And happiness is temporary

It was nice outside
A warm afternoon
The sun was shining
During the month of June

It was fairly windy
So we went to the park
My father and I
We would stay until dark

He brought a kite
"My favorite," he said
As he tugged the kite
And loosened the thread

"I found this baby
Before you were born
And it's the only one
I've ever adored"

I smiled at him
He looked very proud
Looking at his favorite kite
Flying among the clouds

It was the first time in a while
To have a smile from ear to ear
Because not long before
My mother disappeared

I tried to keep my mind off her
I had to think of something else
Other than the way she laughed
Or how she dressed or smelled

So I stared at the kite
And I laid back
I kept my eye on it
To help me relax

I tried not to think, but
The kite reminded me of her
So I kept my eye on the kite
And everything else was a blur

The way the kite fought
Against the wind
Reminded me of my mother
And the way she grinned

Metaphorically, I thought
The kite was my mother
Because of the way it carried itself
Reminded me of her

The kite was just like my mom
It had the same skin
I could have sworn that this kite
Was my mother's twin

The way the kite flew
Thought it was better than the rest
It's as if this flight
Was for all to test

If my mother was a kite
This kite would be her
Because often times my mother
Had delusions of grandeur

This kite was my mother
I could have sworn
Because where my mom had scars
The kite was torn

Then I saw something on that kite
That frightened me a tad
That kite had the same tattoo
As the one my mother had

I have a crush on you
Sadly
I am only a bug
And you are a garden

I have a crush on you
Sadly
I am only the moon
And you are the milky way

I have a crush on you
Sadly
I am only a human
And you are a skyscraper

You have crushed me
Sadly
For I am only a bug
And you are a garden

I have a secret
That nobody knows
It is hidden in the blackness
That is my soul

And in the blackness
That is my soul
My secret lies there
And it glows

Sometimes this secret
Comes and goes
But what I'm most worried about
Is if this secret shows

My secret burns
And it hurts my eyes
But I can't let it go
It controls my life

It speaks a language that
I don't quite understand
It departed
When I wanted it to land

I can barely breathe
It strangles my neck
I wake up every morning
Not knowing what's next

It eliminated my dignity
Along with my pride
I can't run from it
It pulls me in like riptides

When I think of my secret
I feel fear
No matter what environment, place
Or atmosphere

It is something I wish
I could easily hide
But I can't camouflage it
No matter how hard I try

The pain it makes me feel
I wish it could end
Impressed by its hypnosis
My secret I commend

It will never ground
It will always take flight
It will intrude everyday
For the rest of my life

Forever jailed
It will never be free
I can never decode
The secret within me

It used to bother me that nobody listened
I was the ringing phone that was never picked up
It seemed that I was an island

It used to bother me that nobody paid attention
I was the shoe that was never tied
It seemed that I was a bare planet

It used to bother me that nobody cared
I was the pen that never wrote
It seemed that I was completely alone

But it no longer bothers me
Because I picked up myself
I liberated myself

I didn't feed off of attention
I tie my own shoe
I give myself company

Nobody but me cares
I write my own story
It seems that I am an island

I asked my mom where Papa was
She said he got a new job
And it's better than the old one

He's wanted it for 3 years
Because his old one didn't give him money
And his new one passed it out like candy

He had two jobs for a while
With his first he got a promotion
But it was too much work

So he was always late to his first
Because his second was more fun
And eventually he got a promotion

He quit his first job without warning
He left his office supplies too
His old boss burned them because he quit

I miss Papa I tell my mom
I miss him too my mom tells me
But the good in him died

Is he an evil man
He is not an evil man
But the good in him died

When will he come home
He will not come home
Because the good in him died

Beginning to inhale, then exhale
I read my body in braille
No sound was made
Silence prevailed

Not a breath was taken, not a word spoken
Eye contact was never broken
As I looked in the mirror, I saw my soul
And I saw it with eyes wide open

I looked at my reflection across
It tried to weave through my mind like floss
And I could tell from the look of her face
She spoke the language of the lost

The ocean was caged in my eyes
I felt I were a beast in disguise
And I saw that the mirror
Was my beacon in the veil of the night

Like the bristles of a brush, her lashes drew me in
And by the persuasion of her eyes, I was convinced
That it hurt to know it takes a life
To learn how to live

I traveled the twisted pathways of her mind
Each inch was unrefined
Though I wanted to untangle
I was hopelessly intertwined

I saw skyscrapers turn to rain
And people drowning in their pain
Because no matter how fast we swim
We'll lose the human race

It seemed that feeling out of place
Is simply fear of what's changed
And some things have no reason
And some that can't be explained

Through her eyes, I realized
I've committed solitary suicide
No longer alone, I found that
My ground could be somebody's sky

Closing my eyes, I covered the mirror with a veil
I have freed myself, no longer jailed
No sound was made
Silence prevailed

Shame doesn't register
Reality is my competitor
I never lost touch with my emotions
Because I've never developed them

The condition of my mind
Is abnormally blind
I don't have emotions
They are all undefined

I've lost touch with true existence
Because it has no significance
No longer living in reality
Fantasy is my residence

I see pleasure in pain,
Burning buildings, and planes
While I may look calm
My true intentions are contained

Able to fool you with a fresh batch of lies
I can mentally count how many lives
I'm willing to steal
Once I take off my disguise

Indignation runs through my blood
Wrath and fury will often flood
The only way I can suppress those outbursts
Is with alcohol and drugs

I am viciously angry but detached
Thoughts of ****** will perhaps
Inspire me to wreck, intrude,
And attack

I will grab the weapons that are closest
Again I will enter hypnosis
I am insanity
And I have psychosis

Life is a mountain
But I will climb
If that's what it takes
To get to the other side

There will be pebbles, rocks, and boulders
Trying to make me fall
But I will hold on
To this mountain's wall

Life is a goal
And I will achieve
And nothing is ever
Gonna get the best of me

Time lasts forever
But time is an invention
Humans created

Waiting is a challenge
For your patience
And your mind
For your patience
To exist
And your mind
To not

Things haven't been the same
Since the day you came

Breathing is easier
But loving is harder

Living is simple
But wishing is impossible

Days are unforgettable
But nights are long

Stars are brighter
But the moon doesn't exist

Peace surrounds us
But war is among us

And things just haven't been the same
Since the day you came

"What will you do when you grow up?"
"When I'm rich, I'm gonna give"
"If you're rich"
"When"

"Where will you live when you grow up?"
"When I'm successful, I'm gonna live everywhere"
"If you're successful"
"When"

"What is your goal when you grow up?"
"When I'm hopeful, I'm gonna be happy"
"If you're hopeful"
"When"

"When will you grow up?"
"If I grow up"
"When"
"If"