I took off my shoes and left the house.
I stood under the stars, under a thousand planets
And a million other galaxies.
I stayed silent as a billion glitter specks fell upon me.
They say it's just my heart that needs to breathe.
I left my shoes in the middle of street and traded my tears for a beer.
I stared at a ceiling that was covered in plastic stars and cob webs.
Teary eyed by every moment that had just became my past
I turned to rest my head.
To my surprise I found my heart beside my bed.
I put on my shoes and packed my final bags.
I wrapped up my memories and stumbled upon a few regrets.
I threw out old fights and found that song you wrote once with a lovers breath.
I took the empty beer can to the trash.
I grabbed my hystrical and useless heart
And I drove off into the sunset
Like a nightmare that you can't forget.
What if I told you that I love you to death?
That I'm dying, baby, because this isn't it.
I'm giving up because you were not it
But I treated you like you were.
I threw my hands up for you
I let you across the river that cripples my own journey.
I let you lie next to me.
I let every word mean the world to me.
I let every lie comfort me.
And now all I do is cry because I can't believe it.
I can't believe how the weather changed.
I can't believe how cold it is.
I can't hear you but I see you.
I see you moving along
Moving on with the crowd that passes me by.
Waking across the dirt where I reside.
I see you pass me by without a second glance.
I was the only one who gave you a tenth chance!
And now I'm the only one I have.
Now there are multiple paths but I'm afraid.
I'm terrified because there are different heart breaks before me and I have to choose one.
I have choose a different way to die.
I have to wake up and breathe and pretend that nothing makes me cry.
I have to pretend that other things matter more
And the more I think about it
The more I realize that I've been dying.
I've been crying
I've been to hell
I've been alone
I've been apologizing.
I've been waking as if i have somewhere to go.
As if there were someone waiting for me at home.
But I put key in the the door
Only to swing it open
And find a ghost.
I find it haunting because I can hear your heart beating
But it's just noise to me.
If this ain't from the heart than nothing else is.
It's a nightmare of a journey
Through the rose hills.
White roses cover Death
Along side the 50mph ride.
We'll speed down the boulevard
Turning right, swerving left.
Drink some beer on Broadway,
Smoke some cigarettes at CVS.
Then I'll fill your heart with rose petals
Grin and whisper gently
I'll met you in Whittier at Sunset.
Lets muddle through Greenleaf
Under a cerulean sky.
I got lost in the time in your eyes.
I stumble back to only trip into your disguise.
Only to drown in your lips and lies.
Dragging our souls to Hellmans and back,
I'll find you on Hadley letting the sun in
Wilted in Whittier at sunset.
If there was any way to be
Oh, I would wrap my arms around you
I'd kiss your feet.
If there was a reason to look into your eyes
But they're cold, they're dark, they're empty
You're plainly blind.
You can see the trees and a breeze.
But when I'm standing right in front of you
You can't see me.
And we're old rain falling to the ground.
The rain is meaningless, don't make a sound.
I think that I am at my last wits.
Oh, I fought the battles and now I will give in.
And we'll go our separate ways and say
"I loved you once and one day it ain't the same"
And we'll meet in hell or some place.
I ask "how did you get here? It wasn't grace"
"Oh, I killed myself yesterday.
I was cold, dark, and angry, there was no other way"
I remember when we were once in love.
You told me about all the above.
And now those lies they sink like a ship.
My heart is cold and angry from what you've done to it.
If there was any way to be
Oh- I'd wrap my self around you
I'd lick your feet.
But those days are gone and over
I must move on.
but the pain it settles
It last so long.
I don't understand myself anymore because of you.
I feel beautiful and ugly when I'm with you.
Every sound is louder
And every touch is heavy.
I don't know what to do with myself
Because I can this voice telling me to be cautious.
I don't know where I'm going in life.
And because of you I think about that.
That, hangs out in my mind tied to a knot.
It sways me back and forth
Empty and lifeless.
That thought feels like nine panic attacks.
It makes me sick.
And you make me want to forget about it all
Run to the hills
And disappear into the deep end of the deep dark woods.
You make me want to run a thousands miles
And sky dive off a cliff.
You make me want sit back and let it happen.
Just to see what happens.
But, you know, I already know what happens.
I'll let you blow my brains out.
You can be my calm before the storm.
You're my tornado.
I'm the eye in the center of your storm.
We are in a single room.
Lying in a coffin made for Two.
My God, please scoot over.
There is not enough room.
I am a nightmare covered in dreams.
Covered in misty fantasies
And black leather sleeves.
Wild eyed, wild cries,
Try not to slip into the black abyss of demise,
Into the primitive kiss and grey of my eyes.
Sometimes I drown in the drip drip drop of my empty lies.
Sky diving into an empty dream.
Sometimes on cold autumn nights I like to venture into a familiar deja vu.
Suddenly I remember you.
You, who comes with familiar smiles and a familiar tongue.
He comes sorrow and suffer
And I remember to tip toe back into a fantasy.
Sometimes I voluntarly stroll into a recurring theme.
I wonder and weep
I can't sleep.
These daydreams feed me desire and I'm full of it.
I weary and all I want to do is flee.
I'm pretty sure I can feel you're lips
Like a thousands mile per hour kiss.
The air I touch feels like your skin.
And I swear I think I can hear you whisper my name.
I can feel the snow that you're driving through
And the burn from the frozen wind is scalding my skin.
Any second you will walk through our door.
Any minute you'll grab me and throw me against the wall.
I love to see you smile.
in you're eyes I can see everything.
The future twinkles and I'm always in a daze.
I'm always in a daydream.
The butterflys are eating me from within.
I need to stop and remember to breathe.
You're my dream.
I can feel it in me. I can, I swear I can.
I will disturb the universe.
I will cross mountains
I will burn trees
I will go to you and fight everything.
Everything will be dark and beautiful.
Every day will be unforgettable.
Every fight will be enjoyable.
Every hug so meaningful
Every moment we'll be useful.
I can't wait any longer.
I can't eat.
I love you.