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Aug 2016 · 821
Come Home
Ruth Cardenas Aug 2016
I saw you in my dream last night
You were sitting in a chair
I couldn't help but smile
Thinking you were really there

I saw you basking in the sunlight
And for that second I was fine
My heart sewn back together...
It filled that hole you left inside

But you slowly started fading
And I pleaded with my cries
But its okay... Since for a second
*You brought the spark back to my eyes
Jul 2016 · 720
Ruth Cardenas Jul 2016
If I one day opened my eyes
To find that you were gone
That day would be the end of me
And the end of our beautiful song

Our notes would rocket downward
They would spiral out of tune
Singing our song as they fell
"Are you watching this beautiful moon"

I'm certain I'd find a new song
But that song would never sound true
It's not the place I'd find my music
I only found my music in you

But Im sure I'd remember one sound
The last person who gave me advice
It still rings true to this day
*You can't love the same way, twice
Jul 2016 · 850
True Colors
Ruth Cardenas Jul 2016
I admit I have a problem
I am blind to many things
I dont see myself as beautiful
Im ashamed of being me

As I look at my reflection
I point out every flaw
Wishing I would love myself
But loving me feels wrong
Uncontrollable thoughts.
Jun 2016 · 486
Ruth Cardenas Jun 2016
Oh father, don't be scared.
Yes father, we're right here.
Oh father, you close your eyes.
To the four walls you find yourself stuck inside.

Father, I catch my million tears.
In the palm of my hand and hold them near.
These tears are solely for you.
Oh, for you, there's nothing I wouldn't do.

I forgive you for all those times.
Where I'd lay my head down and start to cry.
When disappointment tore my soul apart.
When I walked away because you broke my heart.

Father, we love you so.
Yes, we are hurt but well never let go.
Jun 2016 · 501
Ruth Cardenas Jun 2016
Remember when you loved me violently?
Like a hurricane shredding a town?
You would hold me, kiss me, sing me to sleep,
But your lullabies lost all their sound.

My days would begin with the sunshine .
I felt safe in your lovely embrace.
But now I catch a glimpse of disgust,
"Why is it me that you hate"

Every sound, color, and shape,
Has lost its heavinly touch
Emptiness sitting upon my chest
Proves that my love just wasnt enough
Apr 2016 · 348
Ruth Cardenas Apr 2016
You tried your best to mend her heart
But instead you gave her scars
Apr 2016 · 751
Ruth Cardenas Apr 2016
Her heart became as numb as the cold
There was nothing that she could feel
Because what her heart had to say was a "burden"
So her smile was all she made real

Her soul slowly became monotone
No spirit, no happy, no cries
What she needed to be was "perfect"
She could hide the pain in her decieving eyes

So slowly she fell apart
But of course, nobody knew
The screams in her head became louder
Until they began to Pierce right through

They echoed in empty halls
And shattered through heartbroken tears
All she wanted was someone to hold her
To love her, understand her... To hear.
Mar 2016 · 949
Ruth Cardenas Mar 2016
You are the most beautiful
The brightest star upon the sky
Your brilliant rays of sunshine
Make the angels want to cry

The scars you keep within
Are just as beautiful as you
You fear that I might see them
But my Prince, I have scars too

You are your insecurities
You are your temper and your lips
You are that tidy room...
You are that goodnight kiss

Don't be afraid to remove
That cloak you love to wear
Or it'll cover up your beautiful heart
And the years well get to share

So when you sleep at night
You can go to sleep in peace
You are a beautiful jewel
A jewel no one will EVER be
Feb 2016 · 1.0k
Ruth Cardenas Feb 2016
This feeling's heavy in my chest
It makes it hard to breathe
You gave me all my oxygen,
Now all that's left is me

When things seemed hard to handle,
And what I wanted was to scream
You filled me with your warm embrace,
and left my soul at peace

When tears pierced at my cheeks,
You soothed them with your touch
You my love, we're everything
I guess everything wasn't enough
Feb 2016 · 9.5k
I want to be loved
Ruth Cardenas Feb 2016
I want to be loved for my thorns
For even the sharpest of them all
And no matter how **** they may seem
I want to be loved while my shriveled leaves fall

I want someone to see past my weeds
To leave them beneath my feet
Because no flower or plant is perfect
I just want to be loved for being me

And even when things might seem ****
For having rips and tears in my leaves
I want to be loved unconditionally
I want to be loved for being me
Dec 2015 · 713
Ruth Cardenas Dec 2015
My thoughts scald me like fire
They leave ashes on my ground
They blend in with my beating heart
But they never make a sound

I bubble into blisters
And I lock my pain away
With smiles plastered on my face
They bring my heart to shame

I wish I could control them
But they take control of me
They run around inside my head
Until my head begins to bleed
Nov 2015 · 633
Ruth Cardenas Nov 2015
There are two sides of a person
The sunshine and the night
One of them will mend you
And the other **** your light
Oct 2015 · 1.6k
I Miss You
Ruth Cardenas Oct 2015
I miss you most at night
When the stars shine down on me
When the loneliness sits on my bed
And fails to let me dream

I hurt the most at night
When I hear your voice in my head
The one that soothed me fast asleep
And left my demons dead

I  cry the most at night
When I hear your stabbing words
Pierce my skin and twist
And set me on fire to burn

I know you hurt as well
Because what we had was true
I wish you hadn't let me go
Because all I had was you
Sep 2015 · 843
Appreciate me
Ruth Cardenas Sep 2015
I kissed your broken pieces
And I caressed your beautiful scars
In hopes that one day you would learn
To love your broken heart

I tried to sing you lullabies
When your demons stole you of sleep
But you didnt know I was the one
Who stayed up counting sheep

I listed each of your beauties
On a paper that had no end
And I held you in the darkest times
Even when I had started to bend

But you said to me one day
"What have you ever done for me"
You pushed me out the open door
And slammed it closed, to leave

It's funny how you couldn't see
How you sank deep inside the lies
Too distracted on things you did for me
That it ended up blinding your eyes
Jul 2015 · 632
Ruth Cardenas Jul 2015
My whole entire life
I've watched him fade away
I could only feel the pain
When I'd wake up the next day

I could always see the change
The way he stumbled across the floor
His eyes were blood shot red
Too weak to shut the door

My helpless eyes stayed open
As he drank his life away
"Daddy, please stop doing this"
"... I need you here to stay"

But No, he doesnt listen.
What's this void he hasn't found?
"Daddy, please... I Love you "
"Put the bottle down"
Jun 2015 · 1.1k
Ruth Cardenas Jun 2015
Look at that old elm tree
Standing tall and strong
Look at every flower bed
Trying to sing it's song

Take it down and burn it though
Make it pummel to the ground
Cut up all those flower beds
And you won't ever hear their sound

Ride that car you love so much
Let the fumes become our air
Feel the heat get hotter
But never give it any care

Watch this Earth become a mess
Try to think of something new
And it starts to sink into your mind
"Love, this mess was thanks to you".
Jun 2015 · 568
Ruth Cardenas Jun 2015
I Loved you with a fire
One that left it hard to breathe
One that took my oxygen
And stole the life right out of me

You made us picture perfect
And I didn't want to leave
But when fire meets tornado
All that's left is tragedy

You fixed my broken pieces
And you sewed my  ripped up heart
But the longer we kept going
The more I fell apart

I don't want to say goodbye
But there's not much I can do
Im sick of you hurting me
And I'm sick of me hurting you
May 2015 · 1.9k
Ruth Cardenas May 2015
I sometimes find it crazy.
That you Love someone like me.
When every inch is broken.
From my nose down to my feet.

You tell me that I'm beautiful.
But I find it hard to see.
I only long for better.
In the things that make me, me

I wish I loved this girl.
I don't like the way I am.
Could I make it go away?
Could I help you understand?

My dear Love please don't worry , though.
Because one day I will see.
The beauty in this thunderstorm.
And the beauty you find in me.

— The End —