These cards are not your own.
You called me a ***** from my first breath.
Extenuating circumstances were but a detail; extenuating being - nonexistent.
This sheltered child that just wanted love and knew no better.
— gay— ******* girl —
wanted acceptance and found it in her abyss.
Where her quirks were labeled earned her outcast. Lines up her calves. Feelings of something other than the terror that ensued.
Listen to your mother - she’ll tell you your worth - a list of pros and cons - calls to the cops - but is it worth her gaze ?
Moms busy in the bathroom.
Were you ready to be a parent so soon?
They see the lines - they smell the cigarette dreams. Do they see your drowning? Do they hear your screams?
(((Isn’t the answer simple?)))
I’ve always had some days
that I dont exist.
I just can’t try anymore.
I can’t be anymore; life's heavy.
When will I go a day and be
able to breathe through;
I’m still waiting.
I’m so happy,
But ******* sad.
It’s never gone away.
I just keep reaching and reaching.
Falling harder and harder every time. Drowning into myself and my suffocation.
It all feels so ******* unobtainable.
Someone made a world for
everyone. Except me.
I’ve never been the one to
It’s the world around
That seems to
But with you;
a tear from your eye causes my entirety to
My love, you’re my world.
My existence summed up into a person.
can that possibly be
You hold my heart in your palms
I’ll have it no other way.
in a few words;
after a million lies.
in a couple minutes;
the glass closet fell away;
in a few words;
I was free.
Realizing I'm not where I belong, just where I am.
Realizing I lost my love for myself and I can't pour from an empty cup.
Realizing I'm on my way, but not there yet.
Realizing that breaking someone else, won't build me.
Realizing that caring, isn't always easy, nor will it repair anything.
Realizing that eventually these rains will stop and these winds will cease.
When I finally broke; I shattered.
Little broken shards, in my tiny glass closet.
Bloodied and broken.
Shaking with a pain and understanding I had never felt.
A brokenness I needed to know.
An understanding of the way it should be.
In opposition to the way it was.
My glass closet door could be left ajar.
I'm ****** to hell for loving a woman.
But I'll exist in hell for loving a man.
Who am I
Who am I to think that it all will be ok.
When my heart is shattered for the first time
A million pieces on the floor
While I stand up confident and smiling
I'm shuttering and in excruciating pain inside
Who am I
To seem put together
To put on that plastic smile
That makes money and wins hearts
The smile that wins; the smile that takes
Who am I
To crush hearts
But when I myself am crushed
Be surprised at the anguish
Who am I
To just want to touch you
To just want to hold you and feel your warmth
To feel you there in my sleep
To once in my life not feel alone
You can run, you can go
Just a moment more with you would be worth a million heartaches and a million bruises
I'm broken inside, but I'd do it again just to kiss that beautiful face and feel ok for a moment more.
And so I drown into myself. My hard controlling self. But I have to breathe eventually. And I come up--gasping for air-- and pooling my tears around me; I remember how it feels to be broken. Then I pull myself down to drown once more. Covered in my plastic suffocation. I am safe. I will be safe. Blissful suffocation
They are stale
They are angry
******* me in
Forcing me to stare into their eyes
Trying to escape their jaws
The screams, the hate, the fear
You're nothing, you're a facade.
Nothing better than the body you're in
Without it, you are nothing
When they get to know you, then they'll realize
You're boring, empty, awkward
Unable to let anyone get close
Then they'll leave
Fed up with the facade
Because they're better than to use someone in that way
You're nothing more than a shell
Sometimes I want to scream.
So that my tar clogged lungs burst and this feeling may roam free
Infecting another soul that doesn't wish to be
Who the **** are you
You don't even know
Why tell the world
When you have nothing to show
When my chaos ensues
It's all I can do but create
Please let me scream
Because I just can't be late
— The End —