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Apr 2020 · 75
Play the Game
runningIntheDark Apr 2020
***** hands
Broken teeth
Shatterd eyes
Shocking glare

Broken pavement
Bloodied soul

These cards are not your own.
Feb 2020 · 96
Run Away
runningIntheDark Feb 2020
You called me a ***** from my first breath.

Extenuating circumstances were but a detail; extenuating being - nonexistent.

This sheltered child that just wanted love and knew no better.
This sheltered
— gay— ******* girl —
wanted acceptance and found it in her abyss.

Where her quirks were labeled earned her outcast. Lines up her calves. Feelings of something other than the terror that ensued.

Listen to your mother - she’ll tell you your worth - a list of pros and cons - calls to the cops - but is it worth her gaze ?
Moms busy in the bathroom.
Were you ready to be a parent so soon?

They see the lines - they smell the cigarette dreams. Do they see your drowning? Do they hear your screams?
(((Isn’t the answer simple?)))
Nov 2019 · 213
Existence
runningIntheDark Nov 2019
I’ve always had some days
that I dont exist.

Some days,
I just can’t try anymore.
I can’t be anymore; life's heavy.

When will I go a day and be
able to breathe through;

I’m still waiting.

I’m so happy,
But ******* sad.
It’s never gone away.

I just keep reaching and reaching.
Falling harder and harder every time. Drowning into myself and my suffocation.

It all feels so ******* unobtainable.

Someone made a world for
everyone. Except me.
Nov 2019 · 87
- break snap shatter -
runningIntheDark Nov 2019
I’ve never been the one to
Break

It’s the world around
That seems to
Snap

But with you;
a tear from your eye causes my entirety to
Shatter

My love, you’re my world.
My existence summed up into a person.

How
-terrifyingly beautiful-
can that possibly be

You hold my heart in your palms

I’ll have it no other way.
Feb 2019 · 121
Free
runningIntheDark Feb 2019
freedom
in a few words;
after a million lies.

freedom
in a couple minutes;
after years.

freedom
the glass closet fell away;
shattering.

freedom
in a few words;
I was free.
May 2018 · 734
Realizing
runningIntheDark May 2018
Realizing I'm not where I belong, just where I am.

Realizing I lost my love for myself and I can't pour from an empty cup.

Realizing I'm on my way, but not there yet.

Realizing that breaking someone else, won't build me.

Realizing that caring, isn't always easy, nor will it repair anything.

Realizing that eventually these rains will stop and these winds will cease.
May 2018 · 1.0k
My Closet Door
runningIntheDark May 2018
When I finally broke; I shattered.
Little broken shards, in my tiny glass closet.
Bloodied and broken.
Shaking with a pain and understanding I had never felt.
A brokenness I needed to know.
An understanding of the way it should be.
In opposition to the way it was.
My glass closet door could be left ajar.
Feb 2017 · 351
The Damned
runningIntheDark Feb 2017
I'm ****** to hell for loving a woman.
But I'll exist in hell for loving a man.
Feb 2017 · 1.0k
Shattered Glass Closet
runningIntheDark Feb 2017
Who am I
Who am I to think that it all will be ok.
When my heart is shattered for the first time
A million pieces on the floor
While I stand up confident and smiling
I'm shuttering and in excruciating pain inside

Who am I
To seem put together
To put on that plastic smile
That makes money and wins hearts
The smile that wins; the smile that takes

Who am I
To crush hearts
But when I myself am crushed
Be surprised at the anguish

Who am I
To just want to touch you
To just want to hold you and feel your warmth
To feel you there in my sleep
To once in my life not feel alone
You can run, you can go
Just a moment more with you would be worth a million heartaches and a million bruises
I'm broken inside, but I'd do it again just to kiss that beautiful face and feel ok for a moment more.


And so I drown into myself. My hard controlling self. But I have to breathe eventually. And I come up--gasping for air-- and pooling my tears around me; I remember how it feels to be broken. Then I pull myself down to drown once more. Covered in my plastic suffocation. I am safe. I will be safe. Blissful suffocation
Jan 2017 · 285
Monsters
runningIntheDark Jan 2017
They are stale
They are angry
These monsters
******* me in
Forcing me to stare into their eyes
Trying to escape their jaws
The screams, the hate, the fear
You're nothing, you're a facade.
Nothing better than the body you're in
Without it, you are nothing
When they get to know you, then they'll realize
You're boring, empty, awkward
Unable to let anyone get close
Then they'll leave
Fed up with the facade
Because they're better than to use someone in that way
Of course.
You're nothing more than a shell
May 2016 · 553
Let Me Scream
runningIntheDark May 2016
Sometimes I want to scream.
So that my tar clogged lungs burst and this feeling may roam free
Infecting another soul that doesn't wish to be

Who the **** are you
You don't even know
Why tell the world
When you have nothing to show

When my chaos ensues
It's all I can do but create

Please let me scream
Because I just can't be late

— The End —