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Knit Personality Aug 2016
I've never ever ever heard
   A song that's so terrific
At being worthless word for word
   And potently soporific.
Knit Personality Aug 2016
Sleep, Sleep, tender, mild,
Meaty, sweet & juicy child.
Sleep, Sleep: Sleep a sleep
Soft as is an infant sheep.

Sweet Babe, restful Lump,
Rest thy limbs & belly plump,
Jellied arms & legs & ****:
Every tender, juicy cut.

Savory, salted thou shalt be,
Season'd most deliciously.
Sleep, Sleep: Disease will both
Spoil thy meat & spoil the broth.

O.O
Knit Personality Sep 2016
Voodoo, shmoodoo, hokum and hoodoo!
May hardship befall you and ruin denude you!

O.O
Knit Personality Sep 2016
May bedbugs ****** you,
May redbugs infest you,
May headbugs devour your head and digest you!

Because I detest you,
(You ****-headed pest, you,)
May officers find all your drugs and arrest you!

O.O
Knit Personality Jul 2018
Root of all thirsting,
    My greatest desire,
A single drop bursting
    Can put out a fire.
A single drop wholly
    Divorced from the brine,
A single drop holy,
    The liquid divine.

        Find what you love,
            And let it **** you.
        Water, I love you.
            **** me, will you?

Raindrop or dewdrop
    I want on my tongue.
For the old drop and new drop
    These verses are sung.
The new drop and old drop
    Of water I crave,
The hot drop and cold drop,
    From cradle to grave.

        Find what you love,
            And let it **** you.
        Water, I love you.
            **** me, will you?

Drown me in oceans,
    In crystalline seas,
In H2O potions
    Of perfect degrees.
Drown me in teardrops
    Divorced from the brine,
In flawlessly clear drops
    Of the liquid divine.

        Find what you love,
            And let it **** you.
        Water, I love you.
            **** me, will you?

#
Knit Personality Dec 2018
Give me a shot of eggnog!
    A shot of nog I beg!
Give me a shot of eggnog!
    The nog that's made of egg!
Give me a shot of eggnog!
    Or better yet—a keg!
Give me a keg of eggnog!
    And let me **** your leg!


Knit Personality Mar 2015
I need it when I wake at dawn
   And when I wake at noon;
I need it when I wake and yawn
   Beneath a silver moon.

And then my thirst cannot be slaked:
   I drink a couple pots,
(Or more if, when I waked, I baked
   And downed a couple shots.)

And never dare you give to me
   A cup of voltless Joe!
You'll quake with fear to watch and see  
   The hissy-fit I'll throw!

Coffee, I say!  Give me a cup!
   And fill it to the brim!
Give me a cup!  I'll drink it up
   With vigor, verve, and vim!

#
Knit Personality Apr 2019
According to legend,
if you stare into a mirror,
in a dark room,
lit with candles,
& say "Mary Jane" three times,
while smoking dabs,
you get high as ****.
Knit Personality Jan 2015
I am a lesser god of verse:
   I wish I were a god much greater.
But heaven knows it would be far worse
      To be a non-creator.

8===>
Knit Personality Jan 2015
Since I would rather die than live without you,
I oughtta show your boyfriend what I've written about you.

8===>
Knit Personality Aug 2018
An evensong was sung last night
     In parting by July;—
Was sung through fading sound and light
     A charming lullaby.

As August, crowning, lifts his fire
     Unto the eyes that wake,
I think of her, and die with desire
     From heartburn and heartache.  

#
Knit Personality Aug 2019
How sweet it is to, deep into the night,
    Let percolate your dreams in dripping suds
Of glowingly inebriate delight
    Distilled from golden rills and amber floods,
And into threads of starlight finely spun—  
    All witched by frozen moonlight, pitched in black—
Descend your limbs (made heavy by the run
    Of daily cares), and lay relaxed and slack
Till, saturate with drowsiness—and high
    Within a space of jewels and gems and jet—
You fall into the black hole's empty eye,
    And all the world and all your self forget.
How sweet it is to all your life forsake,
Forgetting you had ever been awake.
Knit Personality Mar 2016
Please, take my hand, and, hand in hand, let’s take a walk together.
    Let’s wander with a springtide wind and wend a private way.
Another green world with waters blue where blows the fairest weather
    Let’s seek and find and claim as ours and visit every day.
Knit Personality Aug 2016
Pickin’ apples off the tree:
that’s me,
ya see,
writin’ poetry
about all things Autumn.
I look for the ripest reds,
those ruddy red-heads
that caught ’em
a stubborn
sunburn
a sunny summery September afternoon,
when the white horn of the moon
was floating by
in the sea-deep deep-blue sky.
I pluck ’em
and plunk ’em
into a barrel
while singing a carol
to Autumn.

Pickin’ apples off the tree:
that’s me,
ya see,
tryna be Keatsy.
But it defeats me:
I try at it
but die at it.
Knit Personality Jul 2015
100% of all the time
Require a reason for the rhyme.

#
Knit Personality Mar 2015
.
     I've heard it said
     To quicken the dead
A voodoo rite perform.
     But hear me well:
     You need no spell
The dead to wake and warm.

     You need but take
     A coffee break
And wet a corpse's lips
     With drops of Joe
     Until it show
A thirst for little sips.

O.O
Knit Personality Oct 2016
The murderous Kankers went off in a Sieve
   To cross the ****** Sea;  
And all of their friends cried, "Happy dead ends!"
   Maliciously nice as could be,
   Their mouths full of moldy Brie.  

The night was bright with yellow light;
   A lightning storm arose.
The Kankers flew a metal kite
   That looked like a boogery nose.
The ****** Sea delighted to bite
   A rain of torrible crows.

The Sieve was downed; the Kankers were drowned.
   Their bodies washed ashore
   Where they set sail for,
   The hills of the Chankly Bore.
Their smiling faces looked up from the ground
   And sang this runcible round:—

"A bat and a rat and a cat
Convened for a quatical chat:
   They plotted a killing—
   A ****** most chilling—
Of bumps in the night that go SPLAT!"

O.O
Knit Personality Mar 2017
A serious limerick is awful!
It's sinful and ought be unlawful!
   A limerick should tickle
   Your funny bone-pickle  
With humor that's downright guffawful!

#
Knit Personality Sep 2016
.

To My Cup of Coffee

Hazy and lazy…slow of registry…
Yawning and looking round me in a fog…
All the day long a traffic jam-like clog
Of thoughts congealed and thick and movement-free…
Were you not there each dawn to liven me—
To perk my senses, set my mind a-jog,
And give my sluggishness the whip and flog—
This jello-minded zombie would I be!
And afternoons I’d feel a lethargy:
I’d faintly flag, and laggardly I’d slog
And trudge and drudge and ***** through sludge and grog
Were you not there to fill me with esprit.
You turn me on and leave me all agog!
You are my princess: Kiss me! I’m your frog!


Arise and Shine

     I've heard it said
     To quicken the dead
A voodoo rite perform.
     But hear me well:
     You need no spell
The dead to wake and warm.

     You need but take
     A coffee break
And wet a corpse's lips
     With drops of Joe
     Until it show
A thirst for little sips.


A Drinking Song

I need it when I wake at dawn
   And when I wake at noon;
I need it when I wake and yawn
   Beneath a silver moon.

And then my thirst cannot be slaked:
   I drink a couple pots,
(Or more if when I waked I baked
   And downed a couple shots.)

And never dare you give to me
   A cup of voltless Joe!
You'll quake with fear to watch and see  
   The hissy-fit I'll throw!

Coffee, I say!  Give me a cup!
   And fill it to the brim!
Give me a cup!  I'll drink it up
   With vigor, verve, and vim!


Caffeine

To get to baseline I need a drug
Delivered to me in an oversized mug;
And if I need it, and I can't get it,
Holy mother of hell, I regret it!


Tea for Two

If you desire some stimulation
   I'll brew you a cup of tea;
And if you desire some relaxation
   I'll make it caffeine-free.

But spiked or not,—black, green, or Grey,—
   No matter how it's took,—
Tea's best enjoyed on a rainy day
   In a ******* with a book.

#
Knit Personality Dec 2014
I. 'T is the Season
This is the time of year for pining and spleen,—
The season of boogers and snot,—the season of green;
And yet, because so well together blend
A piney green and rosy red, my friend,
Gift me your heart, and I will gift you mine:
Please, let me be your Christmas Valentine.


II. A Limited-time Offer
  Act now!  Don't delay!  For a limited time
Get in on a deal that's so good it's a crime!
Just dial our number, and put in your order
For cloying affection wrapped badly in rhyme!
It won't cost a penny; it won't cost a quarter;
It won't cost a nickel,—a dollar,—a dime;
There never was ever a wealthier deal:
It's something for nothing—a bonafide steal!

  And if you call now, as an "early bird" bonus
We'll kidnap (so nicely) the prettiest Jonas,
And make him forever a caged bird that sings
For the ears of his mistress alone of all things.

  So give us a call, and this all will be yours:
The Jonas in *******,—the scary affection.
Don't let this "early bird" be a songbird that snores:
Pick up your phone, and let's make a connection!
Call in right now!  You can dial us live
At 555-555-5555!
Knit Personality Mar 2016
My heart will beat for many things
    So long as I have breath;
But when it throbs it throbs for you;
    And then it throbs to death.

Throbbing or not, I want you there
    In every single beat:
Become my lifeblood, pumping pulse,
    Vitality and heat.
Knit Personality Jun 2017
There once was a beehive of bees
That hung in a haven of trees:
   Busy with ease,
   They'd buzz up a breeze,
And life was, for them, the bee's knees.

#
Knit Personality Sep 2016
A werewolf is nothing but a big werechihuahua.
What you really need to watch out for is the werechupacabra.

O.O
Knit Personality Sep 2016
I know a guy who goes by "Bigfoot."
   I think he fits the name.
And I would bet a pickled pigfoot
   That you would feel the same.

A connoisseur of odors foul,
   I've smelled some awful feet;
And I would bet my lower bowel
   That Bigfoot's can't be beat.

O.O
Knit Personality Dec 2014
The wicked wind, it whips the snow,
And howls a bent and wavering tone,—
   A long, drawn-out moan,—
A blue-note hoarse and full of woe.

* .
Knit Personality Dec 2014
Blues with a feeling—the raw, authentic blues—
The gut- and bowel-twisting, sick and sad,
Loneliest day you’ve ever ever had
Blues—all sunless and soaked with two-bit *****—
I’d never known: unknown to me were shoes
Silent but deadly, hazardously bad
And shake-y ***-pourri, and meals a tad—
Or more—imaginary,—the honest blues.
And had you never put me out the door
To wander with the wind like a rolling stone,
Those deep and loaded bends where live the moan,
The mud, and the howl—the uncut, moody ore
Of bluesy sound—I never could've blown,
Since, foolishly, I valued comfort more.

* .
Knit Personality May 2018
A player once played the trombone
As though he had ears made of stone:
   He'd slip and he'd slide,
   Glissandi a-glide,
All over his targeted tone.  

#
Knit Personality Jun 2017
A man from McFarland once *******
His pants, which were too tightly fitted:
   He popped a low squat,
   And he ******* a lot,
And it squished out his pants when they splitted.

#
Knit Personality Oct 2018
Somewhere on Earth, a little boy's balloon literally burst,
and he figuratively burst into tears
as though it were literally the end of the world;
and, figuratively, for him it was.
But, literally, one day you'll find that all of your miseries
Were, figuratively, so many burst balloons.

#
Knit Personality Jun 2017
There once was a man from Green Bay
Who made it a habit each day
   To ****** an udder
   And churn his own butter,
Then go for a nap in the hay.

#
Knit Personality Apr 2019
I can't but feel designed
to have it on my mind:

the god who no god has,
since God is who He is,

whose breath inspires the wind,
I seek &  hope to find.
Knit Personality Dec 2014
Hear the pealing of the bells—
          Christmas bells!
What a world of siblinghood their merry ringing spells!
      As carolers go singing
      What the merry bells are ringing,
      And hot chocolate—spiced and stinging—
        Is drunk in duple time,
      A warmth arrives and swells
      As it jingles with the bells,
And impels the glass to shed her robes of frosted fleecy rime.
    Through downy flake on downy flake,
    O'er cozy wood and frozen brake,
      Adown the sledded dells—
          Powdered dells!
      Where holly berries ******
      Off the beard of old Kris Kringle,
The merry sounds, they mingle in a medley of noëls—
          Belles noëls!
    And "peace on earth, good will to men
    And women" then is heard again
    By every girl and every boy
    And every ear long deaf to joy;
For everywhere the pealing, the reeling of the bells,
The glory of the Christmas story resoundingly retells.
      The big, bronze bells—
      Where the boldest volume dwells,
And prays in sacred solitude when it, like a liquid, wells—
    Ring out in mercy, forgiveness, and love—
    The will to assume the white wings of the dove:
Hear them! and sing with the dinging, the donging of the bells,
    Of the bells, bells, bells, bells,
      Bells, bells, bells—
The binging and the bonging of the bells!

* .
Knit Personality Apr 2019
Except for me, God only knows the truth which here I tell.
(And if I lie may lightning strike me!  I'll see you all in hell!)
In Scotland Yard there is a shred of damning evidence:
A silken handkerchief clean and white, and certainly a gent's.
And stitched into a single corner a monogram appears,
A well-embroidered S and H.  It's been there all these years.
In Scotland Yard remains the clue that honest Truth supplied;
And Jack the Ripper was Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes's Hyde.
Knit Personality Apr 2016
It’s true of all wounds from the grave to the cradle:
Time heals all wounds, except those which are fatal.

O.O
Knit Personality Aug 2015
I wish to be that rarest kind of artist:
The greatest artist of my ilk and age.
I wish to be that one who flies the farthest
The paper airplane made of ink and page.
I do not wish to be this flying ace
For medals or for glory or for fame:
I wish to tell the eons of your grace,
And loop the sky forever with your name.
But I'm no clever paper engineer,
And flawed design will keep my plane aground.
No matter how it's thrown the crash-site's near
Because its whole construction is unsound.
My plane won't fly because it has no wings,
And good intent can't fly the lightest things.
Knit Personality Jan 2015
There's nothing that makes me more afraid
Than a number, because it wasn't made;
And though I resist
The thought,  I can't shake it:
Something can exist
Without a maker to make it.

#
Knit Personality Oct 2018
Cthulhu wakes.
The mind of Man
His heart forsakes:
His psyche breaks.

With acid rain
The clouds are thick;
And Man, insane,
Regrets his brain.  

The dawning doom
Refractively splits
The heavy gloom.
All nightmares loom.

O.O
Knit Personality Nov 2019
If I when my mailman is sleeping,
and my doll and teddy bear
are sleeping
and the sun is burning my retinas
because I can't stop
staring at it,—
If I outside a store
dance naked, grotesquely
before reflective storefront windows
the Monster Mash
while singing softly to myself:
"It's my birthday.
Today's my birthday,
Happy birthday to me!"
If I admire my nostrils, my *******,
my arm hair, my eleventh toe
in the light of Christmas morning,—

Who shall say I am not
the joyful ****** of planet earth?
Knit Personality May 2019
O Old MacDonald had a farm
where early birds would get the worm
& weathercocks would brave the storm.

Withal, when all is said & done
& didn't, when you wish a pun

a star, it makes no difference who
the heck are you?  the cow & roo-oo-
ster **** a doodle doodle moo.
Knit Personality Jun 2017
A limerick is laid link by link.
It falls like a chain down a sink.
   It goes down the drain
   Like a free-falling train,
And lands with a twist and a kink.

#
Knit Personality Sep 2016
Insidious,
Nefarious,
Perfidious,
Contrarious,
He saps your wealth
Of oral health,
Mocking his oath
And patient both.

O.O
Knit Personality Feb 2019
An expert in mycology,
Of Norsian biology,
And fjordian psychology,
A troll, I troll the livelong day.
I troll the livelong day away.
Mushrooms for dinner, breakfast, and lunch:
My comrades call me Edvard Munch.  
In lyric peaces I live in league
With Jean Sibelius and Edvard Grieg.

#
Knit Personality May 2018
A farmer once grew some potatoes
Genetically crossed with tomatoes:
   He plucked 'em by hand,
   Set up a stand,
And sold 'em as "heirloom topatoes".  

#
Knit Personality Apr 2016
They come together in the night,
   Amid the leaves, within the bush,
   Silent inside the stilly hush,
Beneath the full moon shining bright.

Healthy and large and leafy green,
   She beckons him of smaller size,—
   A woody, twig-like male, who flies
To meet his mate, his mantis queen.

They come together and seem as one,
   As though one twig with emerald leaves
   Were moving much with little breeze
Where shade rebuffs the noonday sun.

They turn their heads to share a kiss,
   Antennae twining round like vines.
   The male ignores the warning signs,
Oblivious to what's amiss.

The kiss becomes a vicious bite.
   She chews off quickly half his face.
   He holds, despite this, his embrace,—
Holding it fast and gripping tight.

Headless in bites, he needs no head,
   Continuing the ***** deed.
   His queen discovers her no need
Either of this, nor cares he's dead.

Finished with him, herself she frees.
   He twitches yet, although a corse.
   As though a leaf swept by a force
Of wind, she leaves upon a breeze.

O.O
Knit Personality Feb 2016
I’ve got “The Plague.”  It’s bomb-*** chronic.
One hit will wreck you.  The ****’s bubonic.

O.O
Knit Personality Oct 2015
Beneath the tepid vessel a small flame
Licks, with a taste for arson, at a twig
Adjacent to its own, and spreads its fame
Around the touching wood, and then grows big.
The silent water begins to heat, though slightly;
But warming steadily soon becomes unstill;
And after pregnant minutes begins lightly
To hiss, threatening to bubble and overspill.
Then upward start the bubbles, like fresh champagne’s,
But faster, and more marvelously fun.
And faster still they come. They make long chains,
And gather, rise, and burst, the many as one.
Praised be The Muse! Her glory here behold
Who turns to steam what otherwise would mold!

#
Knit Personality Aug 2018
the red sun
                  rises
    on Japanese instruments

                      music for koto
                             like green tea
                         long-steeped

             shakuhachi & musician  
        with the colors of the wind                          
                 paint music in air

notes
     in needlepoint
          pierce
     my pincushion eardrum;
                   a bachi plucks three strings
                
              Toru Takemitsu
in an autumn garden
                       pentagonal


#
Knit Personality Apr 2016
The friendless needn't ever be friendless:
Their pool of potential friends is endless.
The lonely person living sadly
Should buy a board from Milton Bradley,—
A board for playing games with ghosts
Who roam in search of gaming hosts.
It’s guaranteed they’ll find a friend
Where worlds collide and mix and blend.
A little cruel…or maybe a lot…
They’ll find a friend as sure as not,—
A sticky friend who wants to share
A living body, blood to hair.
The lonely person living sadly
Should buy a board from Milton Bradley.
If properly used, they’re sure to receive
Friendship from something that never will leave.

O.O
Knit Personality Jan 2015
I'd rather splash and sparkle in the shallow
   Depths of a pretty fountain
Than wearily swim an ocean dark and hollow—
   Or climb a rocky mountain.

#
Knit Personality Jul 2017
There once was a boy bear named Eddie
Who knocked up a girl bear named Betty:
   They had a big litter
   Of cubs that would titter
And totter, half Polar, half Teddy.

#
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