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55.5k · Jul 2018
A Drinking Song
Knit Personality Jul 2018
Root of all thirsting,
    My greatest desire,
A single drop bursting
    Can put out a fire.
A single drop wholly
    Divorced from the brine,
A single drop holy,
    The liquid divine.

        Find what you love,
            And let it **** you.
        Water, I love you.
            **** me, will you?

Raindrop or dewdrop
    I want on my tongue.
For the old drop and new drop
    These verses are sung.
The new drop and old drop
    Of water I crave,
The hot drop and cold drop,
    From cradle to grave.

        Find what you love,
            And let it **** you.
        Water, I love you.
            **** me, will you?

Drown me in oceans,
    In crystalline seas,
In H2O potions
    Of perfect degrees.
Drown me in teardrops
    Divorced from the brine,
In flawlessly clear drops
    Of the liquid divine.

        Find what you love,
            And let it **** you.
        Water, I love you.
            **** me, will you?

#
30.1k · Jan 2015
My Epigram Machine
Knit Personality Jan 2015
I take a concept scattered, rough, or mean,
And put it through my epigram machine;
Then hope that, though its soul may well be dirt,
It comes out clean as Mr. Clean is clean.
18.1k · Jul 2016
Scat Sex
Knit Personality Jul 2016
A limerick should always be witty
And ***** and filthy and gritty.
   A good one has wit,
   And some *** or some ****;
And a clean one is sure to be ******.

#
12.0k · Aug 2016
Resin Dental
Knit Personality Aug 2016
I scrape the black plaque off the glass
Like a dentist with an itchy ***.
9.2k · Jan 2015
Crunching Numbers
Knit Personality Jan 2015
There's nothing that makes me more afraid
Than a number, because it wasn't made;
And though I resist
The thought,  I can't shake it:
Something can exist
Without a maker to make it.

#
8.8k · Jul 2018
Three Limericks
Knit Personality Jul 2018
There once was a player named Morgan
Who played all day long with his *****:
     He played with it majorly,
     Sadistically, and ragerly,
That claw-handed, hairy-palmed Morgan.  

There once was a confident nudist,
The rudest of nudists, and lewdest,
     Who'd offer a toot
     On his flesh-and-bone flute,
Declaring he'd make you a flutist.

There once was a wandering hobo
Who wandered from NoBo to SoBo
     Whilst whistling merrily,
     Gladly, and verily
Mozart's concerto for oboe.

#
8.4k · Apr 2019
The Art of Drawing
Knit Personality Apr 2019
The flat earth is flatter
   Than the ball earth's a sphere,
And what's all the matter
   Is very unclear.

The world is a caper
   That's made of illusions.
I use white lined paper
   To draw my conclusions.
7.6k · Jan 2015
Goldfish
Knit Personality Jan 2015
I'd rather splash and sparkle in the shallow
   Depths of a pretty fountain
Than wearily swim an ocean dark and hollow—
   Or climb a rocky mountain.

#
7.2k · Apr 2019
A Legend
Knit Personality Apr 2019
According to legend,
if you stare into a mirror,
in a dark room,
lit with candles,
& say "Mary Jane" three times,
while smoking dabs,
you get high as ****.
7.1k · Mar 2015
A Drinking Song
Knit Personality Mar 2015
I need it when I wake at dawn
   And when I wake at noon;
I need it when I wake and yawn
   Beneath a silver moon.

And then my thirst cannot be slaked:
   I drink a couple pots,
(Or more if, when I waked, I baked
   And downed a couple shots.)

And never dare you give to me
   A cup of voltless Joe!
You'll quake with fear to watch and see  
   The hissy-fit I'll throw!

Coffee, I say!  Give me a cup!
   And fill it to the brim!
Give me a cup!  I'll drink it up
   With vigor, verve, and vim!

#
Knit Personality Dec 2014
Blues with a feeling—the raw, authentic blues—
The gut- and bowel-twisting, sick and sad,
Loneliest day you’ve ever ever had
Blues—all sunless and soaked with two-bit *****—
I’d never known: unknown to me were shoes
Silent but deadly, hazardously bad
And shake-y ***-pourri, and meals a tad—
Or more—imaginary,—the honest blues.
And had you never put me out the door
To wander with the wind like a rolling stone,
Those deep and loaded bends where live the moan,
The mud, and the howl—the uncut, moody ore
Of bluesy sound—I never could've blown,
Since, foolishly, I valued comfort more.

* .
6.4k · Mar 2015
Arise and Shine
Knit Personality Mar 2015
.
     I've heard it said
     To quicken the dead
A voodoo rite perform.
     But hear me well:
     You need no spell
The dead to wake and warm.

     You need but take
     A coffee break
And wet a corpse's lips
     With drops of Joe
     Until it show
A thirst for little sips.

O.O
6.0k · Oct 2018
Said the Cat
Knit Personality Oct 2018
"Curiosity kills cats, you say?
Perhaps.  I'm curious every day.
And of my nine lives,
I have left
A single life's breath.
And soon I'll satisfy
My curiosity
About death."

O.O
5.8k · Oct 2016
To Every Beamish Child
Knit Personality Oct 2016
The day began at 6 PM;
   At 6 PM it ends.
At 6 PM a cherry brehm
   Will puff with harey friends.
O frabjous day!  Callooh!  Callay!
   I chortle in my joy!
A happy-glad Mad Hatter Day
   To every girl and boy!

At 6 PM I drank some tea;
   At 6 PM drank more.
At 6 PM the Tumtum tree
   I smoked, then went to snore.
O frabjous day!  Callooh!  Callay!
   I urkel loud and wild!
A happy-glad Mad Hatter Day
   To every beamish child!

10/6/16
5.7k · Aug 2015
Crash Landing
Knit Personality Aug 2015
I wish to be that rarest kind of artist:
The greatest artist of my ilk and age.
I wish to be that one who flies the farthest
The paper airplane made of ink and page.
I do not wish to be this flying ace
For medals or for glory or for fame:
I wish to tell the eons of your grace,
And loop the sky forever with your name.
But I'm no clever paper engineer,
And flawed design will keep my plane aground.
No matter how it's thrown the crash-site's near
Because its whole construction is unsound.
My plane won't fly because it has no wings,
And good intent can't fly the lightest things.
5.6k · Dec 2015
The Christmas Pig
Knit Personality Dec 2015
The Christmas Pig is red and big,
      And creeps around his stall
While playing out his favorite gig
      As Santa at the mall.

* .
5.5k · Sep 2016
In a City Graveyard
Knit Personality Sep 2016
Here, in cramped lots
Laid side by side,
Postage stamp plots,
The dead reside.

Bury my bones
Where I can prove
The well-spaced stones
Leave room to move.

O.O
5.0k · Jan 2015
A Lesser God
Knit Personality Jan 2015
I am a lesser god of verse:
   I wish I were a god much greater.
But heaven knows it would be far worse
      To be a non-creator.

8===>
5.0k · Apr 2019
Stoned Ape
Knit Personality Apr 2019
A soft ****** ape,
& Dharma geek,
I dream asleep
& wide awake.

My third eye peers,
so ****** i'm rocked.
Half-baked ideas
are under-cooked.
5.0k · Dec 2014
OCD, Yeah, You Know Me!
Knit Personality Dec 2014
I lock the door,
Then lock the door some more.
5.0k · Aug 2018
Lines for a Restroom Stall
Knit Personality Aug 2018
Here I sit unbroken-hearted:
I tried to ****—and did—and farted.
Here I sit by fate or chance:
For *******, sitting's the proper stance.

#
4.7k · Oct 2018
Burst Balloons
Knit Personality Oct 2018
In beautiful Boulder, Colorado the little boy's balloon literally burst,
and he figuratively burst into tears
as though it were literally the end of the world;
and, figuratively, for him it was.
But, literally, one day you'll find that all of your miseries
Were, figuratively, so many burst balloons.

#
4.6k · Mar 2016
The "Tooth Fairy"
Knit Personality Mar 2016
I pay respects to Mrs. Claus,
    Samaritan extraordinaire,
The modest queen of Christmastide
    And the north wind and arctic air.

Her role she never boasts, and yet,
    The muse and glory of her spouse,
The great goodwill that Santa shares
    Begins in her and in her house.

She never boasts the good she does,
    And very few have known truth
That children all across the world
    Prepare for her each new lost tooth.

For Mrs. Claus, she wears two hats;
    And when those kids with little paws
Count up their coins, they know she came—
    The "Tooth Fairy", or Mrs. Claus.

* .
4.6k · Sep 2016
The Rainy Day
Knit Personality Sep 2016
The day is cold and dark and dreary.  It rains.
I'm trippin' ******* on some hillbilly belladonna,
Absorbing into the personality
That will die with my body
A universe of sorrow.
Life is but a dream,
And the day is dark and dreary.

O.O
4.4k · Dec 2018
Harvest of Canes
Knit Personality Dec 2018
The Candy Cane Tree
    Has peppermint bark.
It grows in the snow
     And glows in the dark.

It drips chocolate sap;
    Its flesh is white cream.
**-holy-night-**!
    It's a tree-hugger's dream!

The harvest of canes
    In autumn begins
With peppermint brains
    And doublemint chins.
4.4k · Aug 2016
Onesie
Knit Personality Aug 2016
He likes to wear a body suit
That’s made of human skin.
The gruesome onesie, head to foot,
Fits well: he steps right in.

O.O
4.3k · Dec 2014
Humbug
Knit Personality Dec 2014
If love is as soft
   As the wisp of a willow,
Then, here: take this over-stuffed
   Holly-leaf pillow!

* .
4.3k · Apr 2019
The Answer to Why?
Knit Personality Aug 2018
An evensong was sung last night
     In parting by July;—
Was sung through fading sound and light
     A charming lullaby.

As August, crowning, lifts his fire
     Unto the eyes that wake,
I think of her, and die with desire
     From heartburn and heartache.  

#
4.1k · Apr 2019
Two Preludes
Knit Personality Apr 2019
1    
     Go fly a kite!
     High!
     (&
     i'll fly
     It with yoU!)

2
     a long-distance throw;
     frizzbee flies
     like a UFO;
     clear blue skies;
     a tic-tac-toe
     of them trails
     called chem trails;
     nano-aliens hatch;
     he makes the catch!
4.0k · Apr 2015
Life
Knit Personality Apr 2015
The bestest
stress test.

#
3.8k · Aug 2018
Kaa's Hunting Song
Knit Personality Aug 2018
O hear!  O hear!  O come thee near,
And let me whissssper in thine ear.  
                              Hssss!

Come nearer yet, and nearer yet:
I'll wrap thee round, nor shouldst thou fret.  
                              Hssss!

Be thou unshaken, and fear no ill:
Ssssubmit unto the Law thy will.  
                              Hssss!

The Law of the Jungle lives and dies
By ssssnapping jaws and lifeless eyes.  
                              Hssss!

We be of one blood, thou and I.
That I may live, so thou shalt die.  
                              Aaa-ssp!

O.O
3.7k · Feb 2015
Out of Ink
Knit Personality Feb 2015
It is my greatest fear, I think,
That my pen should run out of ink.

8===>
3.5k · Sep 2016
The Rainy Day
Knit Personality Sep 2016
The day is dismal,
Dark, and abysmal.
With all the humor
Of a brain tumor,
It laughs till it cries,
And lives till it dies.

O.O
3.5k · Sep 2016
Bigfoot's Feet
Knit Personality Sep 2016
I know a guy who goes by "Bigfoot."
   I think he fits the name.
And I would bet a pickled pigfoot
   That you would feel the same.

A connoisseur of odors foul,
   I've smelled some awful feet;
And I would bet my lower bowel
   That Bigfoot's can't be beat.

O.O
3.4k · Dec 2014
Jack Daniels
Knit Personality Dec 2014
Domestic and warm as a chair by the fire,—
A bear of a spirit in flannel attire.

* .
3.4k · Apr 2016
Fatal Attraction
Knit Personality Apr 2016
They come together in the night,
   Amid the leaves, within the bush,
   Silent inside the stilly hush,
Beneath the full moon shining bright.

Healthy and large and leafy green,
   She beckons him of smaller size,—
   A woody, twig-like male, who flies
To meet his mate, his mantis queen.

They come together and seem as one,
   As though one twig with emerald leaves
   Were moving much with little breeze
Where shade rebuffs the noonday sun.

They turn their heads to share a kiss,
   Antennae twining round like vines.
   The male ignores the warning signs,
Oblivious to what's amiss.

The kiss becomes a vicious bite.
   She chews off quickly half his face.
   He holds, despite this, his embrace,—
Holding it fast and gripping tight.

Headless in bites, he needs no head,
   Continuing the ***** deed.
   His queen discovers her no need
Either of this, nor cares he's dead.

Finished with him, herself she frees.
   He twitches yet, although a corse.
   As though a leaf swept by a force
Of wind, she leaves upon a breeze.

O.O
Knit Personality Aug 2015
I have here a soda I want you to try,
And if you don't try it you're going to die!
    The magic blue potion is certain to please:
This fizziest soda is 30 degrees,
And will be forever, yet never will freeze.
Pop off the cap, it will sit there forever,
Retaining its freshness for ever and ever.
Forever will wait this elixir for you,—
This perfect imitation of blue Mountain Dew.
     A sip for eternity's all that you need
To be from mortality severed and freed,—
To forever be free to savor the flavor
Of Dew, (a heaven for the Mountain Dew craver!)
But since I desire to be a good model
Of courtesy, always I offer the bottle.
     So, go on and try it, and see, if you will,
How long is forever.  Be careful.  Don't spill.

O.O
3.3k · Dec 2018
The Christmas Spirit
Knit Personality Dec 2018
The Christmas Spirit roams the earth,
Visiting every haunt and hearth.
And, looming where the lovelight gleams,
And where the kettle gently steams,
Is seen as a twinkle in an eye
Or heard as sleigh bells high upsky.
And every Scrooge receives his due,
And every saint and saviour too,
Before the errant spirit go
Return to dust and polar snow.


Knit Personality Sep 2016
.

To My Cup of Coffee

Hazy and lazy…slow of registry…
Yawning and looking round me in a fog…
All the day long a traffic jam-like clog
Of thoughts congealed and thick and movement-free…
Were you not there each dawn to liven me—
To perk my senses, set my mind a-jog,
And give my sluggishness the whip and flog—
This jello-minded zombie would I be!
And afternoons I’d feel a lethargy:
I’d faintly flag, and laggardly I’d slog
And trudge and drudge and ***** through sludge and grog
Were you not there to fill me with esprit.
You turn me on and leave me all agog!
You are my princess: Kiss me! I’m your frog!


Arise and Shine

     I've heard it said
     To quicken the dead
A voodoo rite perform.
     But hear me well:
     You need no spell
The dead to wake and warm.

     You need but take
     A coffee break
And wet a corpse's lips
     With drops of Joe
     Until it show
A thirst for little sips.


A Drinking Song

I need it when I wake at dawn
   And when I wake at noon;
I need it when I wake and yawn
   Beneath a silver moon.

And then my thirst cannot be slaked:
   I drink a couple pots,
(Or more if when I waked I baked
   And downed a couple shots.)

And never dare you give to me
   A cup of voltless Joe!
You'll quake with fear to watch and see  
   The hissy-fit I'll throw!

Coffee, I say!  Give me a cup!
   And fill it to the brim!
Give me a cup!  I'll drink it up
   With vigor, verve, and vim!


Caffeine

To get to baseline I need a drug
Delivered to me in an oversized mug;
And if I need it, and I can't get it,
Holy mother of hell, I regret it!


Tea for Two

If you desire some stimulation
   I'll brew you a cup of tea;
And if you desire some relaxation
   I'll make it caffeine-free.

But spiked or not,—black, green, or Grey,—
   No matter how it's took,—
Tea's best enjoyed on a rainy day
   In a ******* with a book.

#
3.2k · May 2019
Merrily
Knit Personality May 2019
Lewis Carroll rows a boat
   Gently down the stream
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily:
   Life is but a dream.

Twinkle, twinkle, little bat
   Way up in the sky.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
   I am very high.
3.2k · Oct 2016
Monolith
Knit Personality Oct 2016
Though wondrous are the monuments of stone
That yet enjoy the splendor of a prime
Lasting for ages—spanning lengths of time
Wherein were seeded, birthed, and fully grown
Great nations, cultures long since buried, gone—
And stand them still (sides slanted as a rhyme)
In total rapture when the arid clime
Around them swirls a storm of dust hard-blown,
When these have worn to so much desert sand
The greatest of Man’s achievements will be extinct,
Not because these will henceforth cease to stand,
But since the kosmos will have forgotten the tinct
And brittle leaves with hieroglyphics inked,—
The works that Beethoven scribbled out by hand.

#
3.2k · Aug 2018
Tweeter
Knit Personality Aug 2018
A tweet takes form:
     He tweets, retweets,
     Tweets & repeats.
He tweets up a storm:
     He tweets, retweets,
     Tweets & repeats.

A birdbrain is
     (He tweets, retweets,
     Tweets & repeats)
A birdbrain his:
     He tweets, retweets,
     Tweets & repeats.

#
Knit Personality Jul 2015
An athlete an athlete should want to be like!
There's nobody better at riding a bike!

#
Knit Personality Dec 2014
Hear the pealing of the bells—
          Christmas bells!
What a world of siblinghood their merry ringing spells!
      As carolers go singing
      What the merry bells are ringing,
      And hot chocolate—spiced and stinging—
        Is drunk in duple time,
      A warmth arrives and swells
      As it jingles with the bells,
And impels the glass to shed her robes of frosted fleecy rime.
    Through downy flake on downy flake,
    O'er cozy wood and frozen brake,
      Adown the sledded dells—
          Powdered dells!
      Where holly berries ******
      Off the beard of old Kris Kringle,
The merry sounds, they mingle in a medley of noëls—
          Belles noëls!
    And "peace on earth, good will to men
    And women" then is heard again
    By every girl and every boy
    And every ear long deaf to joy;
For everywhere the pealing, the reeling of the bells,
The glory of the Christmas story resoundingly retells.
      The big, bronze bells—
      Where the boldest volume dwells,
And prays in sacred solitude when it, like a liquid, wells—
    Ring out in mercy, forgiveness, and love—
    The will to assume the white wings of the dove:
Hear them! and sing with the dinging, the donging of the bells,
    Of the bells, bells, bells, bells,
      Bells, bells, bells—
The binging and the bonging of the bells!

* .
3.0k · Dec 2014
Blues in White Minor
Knit Personality Dec 2014
The wicked wind, it whips the snow,
And howls a bent and wavering tone,—
   A long, drawn-out moan,—
A blue-note hoarse and full of woe.

* .
3.0k · Feb 2016
Feel the Strain
Knit Personality Feb 2016
I’ve got “The Plague.”  It’s bomb-*** chronic.
One hit will wreck you.  The ****’s bubonic.

O.O
3.0k · Dec 2014
White Noise
Knit Personality Dec 2014
I love the sound of steady-falling snow
Heard through a window casement’s glassy sieve
When everything is off (the radio,
The stale debate on “to live or not to live”),

And the silent fuzz of sound-in-negative
Accompanies the light, dynamic show,—
The freestyle choreography of blow-
ing flakes that drift and spin and dip and dive.

Pacified,—snowed,—blissed-out by this very sound
Is how I’ve spent this Christmas afternoon.
No accident is this, no; nor a boon
Of cosmic chance or coincidence profound:
It’s gentle and mighty Colorado’s gift
To one whose spirits needed—this day—a lift.

* .
Knit Personality Jan 2016
I regard reincarnation
With a certain trepidation:
If you must suffer in each life, instead
I’d rather be irreversibly dead.

#
2.8k · Aug 2015
The Tutti to Your Ears
Knit Personality Aug 2015
Were you to say a cloudy sky was clear and blue and sunny,
    Or cotton ***** felt rough against the heaven of your skin,
Or for its bitter taste you loathed the very sweetest honey,
    Or Mozart's tutti to your ears was a loud unmusical din,

I wouldn't doubt these things to you were in these ways appearing—
    That Mozart's music did so much your tender ears offend—
I'd only doubt your touch, your tongue, your sight, and sense of hearing,
    And would an extra dose of drugs strongly recommend.
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