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thorn Mar 2021
Peeping eyes
Colorful Mushrooms
Decay exists as a life form
It reminds me of you and I
I hope you’ll see what I need you to see
And you’ll love my establishment of mutual understanding
And
"Please tell me you love me more than being Sick”
thorn Apr 2021
abyss
void of sound
eyes tightly clenched shut
digits connected to tense palms over little ears
nothing can hurt me here
or so i thought
all the times she screamed at me
i should've just covered my ears
but now it's too late
thorn May 2021
2001
halloween
a broken girl
a broken boy
***** a missed dose of birth control and a broken ******
"callee"
a guardian angel sacrfice
999
thorn Mar 2021
999
“Is this how you want your life to go?”
No
That’s why I’ll be gone by 21
thorn Mar 2021
at least i know you have my back
when i lost my grandpa
you were there
when i felt loved
you were there
when my friends left
you were there
when i met my brother
you were there
when my momma and i fought
you were there
when my dad left
you were there
when i suffered among filth
you were there
when i fell in love
you were there
when i lost love
you were there
i took pills for awhile
to bring back the light
you wouldn't go away
stopped taking them
i can't get rid of you
you are all i have
at 16 i was diagnosed with severe depression
thorn May 2021
i know this will **** me
i don't seem to care
i wanna be laid to rest in all the happy memories i have always been swadeled in
it seems as though that blanket only drew to my ankles
i have cold feet about the rest of my life
thorn May 2021
the original me bled out on her mothers ***** bathroom floor
the filth and abuse because too much for her
everything since that day
hasn't
felt
real
shady what the ******* saying!?
"I don't know help me!"
thorn May 2021
you were home
you made me really sick
beg
thorn Mar 2021
beg
I deleted all the photos
I blocked you on everything
I moved to an entire new state to get away from you
Yet I noticed
I still sleep in your shirt
thorn Jun 2021
I love feeling my heart get weaker
I mean hey
I asked it to stop pumping a long time ago
thorn Apr 2021
i didn't ween myself off of you
even though you were the most addicting drug i've ever touched
one day i decided i couldn't take the comedowns anymore
no matter how high i got off you
i'd like to tell my family i've kicked you
my skins glowing and my smile no longer seldom
yet sometimes the idea of you sets my soul ablaze
and i get the urge
to pick through all my files
emails
messages
memories
carpet picking for shards of you
even the worst of you
i've quit you cold turkey
but it's a fun idea, isn't it?
thorn Mar 2021
i can't unsee my eyes
i'll always feel my fingers
grounded to my toes
mouse brown shall always root in my skull
there's just some parts of you
i can't outrun
thorn Mar 2021
We’re the same
We’re complete opposites
I grew around you
But you aren’t that anymore
And now I am no longer growing around who you use to be
But I have become you
The you that no longer exists
thorn Mar 2021
i use to grab your vape from our bed
faster than your hands could move
and i would grin at you as i raised it to my mouth
i would hack immediately
"see? what did i tell you?"
you didn't tell me ****
the homie and i would roam the back roads
passing it back and forth
it felt like stitches for my soul
so i really doubt
it was the nic that hurt me
**** your truce
thorn May 2021
i'll shove every word into my skull
until the tears stop falling
and i forget your face
thegirlyoufuckedwhileiworkedanextrashiftsoicouldgetyouanicechristmaspresentlistenedtoolivertreeandhonestlyfuckyoubothwhydidyoucheatonmemaybeihurtyousometimesbutfuckyouusetocallmearetardandabitch
thorn Apr 2021
i knew a man who was the best **** actor
i'd ever met
there was this silky texture to his skin underneath the stage lights
there was endless echoes in his laughter
his arms were a safe haven within his own theatre
i could feel his soul become one with mine
watching him perform an entire act
with just our bodies
i don't think i have ever seen a portrayal of love look so convincing
but it was all an act
when the lights were out and he took off his mask
there stood a gremlin of a man
possessing the most vile soul i had ever come in contact with
a man who convinced me i was a precursor of his lies
there stood an extension of Abaddon
in the middle of an empty stage
thorn May 2021
why are there already nats around me?
i'm not dead yet you freaks
thorn May 2021
acceptance
this is where i came from
this IS familiar
it'll be ok
it'll be absolute euphoria
thorn May 2021
he once wrote on my bulletin board in animal crossing
"you're precious"
my baby
my baby
you're my baby
say it to me
thorn May 2021
you are all the things that are wrong with you
thorn Apr 2021
in the most platonic way possible
i enjoy sleeping next to you
or anyone i love
because i know
i'm sleeping next to someone who will miss me when i'm dead
thorn Mar 2021
i'm in unimaginable pain
but i have never been happier
you once said "i think i am the cause of a lot of your problems"
and you were absolutely right my love
thorn Mar 2021
"Industrialization is ruining humanity
Capitalism is ruining humanity
Social Media is ruining humanity"
*******
Since the dawn of time every single advancement in our existence has lead to our downfall
If we've learned anything in the past year it's how bleak everything truly is
We have blindly chased progress all this time
Existence in itself is merely a capitalization on some sort of product
Some way to have profit
We're all born to die
We're meant to have a downfall
We can't last forever
thorn Mar 2021
insecurity in itself is greed
you sit there
you ramble
about how
you can't do this because you aren't thin
you can't look good because your nose is too big
you aren't lovable because you're scatterbrained
dude
listen
you block out all the love everyone is giving you
pieces of their soul
in the process of hating yourself
you also project your hurt onto others
who are just like you
that just wanna feel loved
and
who wants to make you feel loved
thorn May 2021
menthol cigerettes
vomiting
starvation
depression
suicidal idealization
heartbreak
it’s all growing pains, baby
thorn Apr 2021
don't worry about me
i'll worry about you
it's my job
relax son,
i'm your guardian angel
if your soul is cracking at the seams
you can have some of mine
and when i'm gone
you can return it with your tears
and replace it with my peace
777
thorn Jun 2021
Summer this year doesn’t feel like all the others
I can’t help but see the calories on a can of Arizona tea
Abanonded on a park bench
When did that become all I could see?
thorn Mar 2021
you're not all one
but in my mind you shall be
through your bedroom window and the floor beside your bed i lied
in the garage i smoked *** with you and your baby-mothers-father
in the back of your car where i first heard the melody of my soul
in your inner city house i spent too much time in
waking up in your arms and you lying to me then and months down the road
sleeping in your van while it was 40 degrees
in your arms because i was lonely
in your heatless house with candles lit and all but it wasn't romantic
running on no sleep while the sun scanned over us that morning
in your basement while your mom was at work
in another basement as i stared at the posters on your wall
you are different people
but i still got what i wanted
and ill never stop until the hole in my heart is fixed
thorn Apr 2021
i never understood how you can love someone
and not be ready for them
because if it was true love you'd take them
anytime
anyday
anywhere
any life
but that's just not the case
when i look at you i see somebody whose loved me for a long time
and i've taken it for granted because on some level it's not what i want
truly
if i ever had your heart
i'd take it for granted
but it's ok babe
just hold my hand
and we'll go get cotton candy together.
we never dated but we've been connected a long time
i chose someone else over you and looked what happened
i think on some level i deserved it
for what i did to you
but hey,
holding grudges over love is ancient artifacts
thorn Mar 2021
hair on the bathroom sink
a lit cigerette not far from it
the smell of stolen cologne
cool dye resting on my scalp
the only thing in my system is a can of monster
ive never felt more connected to the world i want to escape to
flying so high
catch a ride on lady ranicorn
thorn Mar 2021
it's nearly impossible to fathom how somebody else is alive because i chose to be
with this roots emerged from the soil beneath my feet
curling around every inch of skin rapidly
down my throat and over my eyes
i have become encased
within the plane of a boy prophet
thorn Apr 2021
orange and red streaks reflected on garden eyes
smoke in my lungs
and a tiny bit of cancer between two delicate fingers
as you grow, everything changes
for better or for worse
life is short baby girl
light a cig
thorn Apr 2021
Material divided
The odds aren't great
But the longer I stare into your picture
I know what sacrifices I'm willing to make
My fingers play with the silk slipping back and forth
Now there is a ribbon around my torso
Plastic china shrank to distort
Ever so slowly
Painfully
Carving skin
Against an indifferent ribbon
thorn May 2021
it won't matter that i wasn't enough
if we all one day will experience the same thing
we're all as worthy as one another
and that's enough validation for me
thorn Mar 2021
i am AMO
the little robot from adventure time
i am self destructive
i am ******* absolutely out of my mind
as i grew in my mothers womb
i was created to recieve love
el ayuwoki
thorn May 2021
wake up
you wouldn't wanna miss your autopsy
thorn May 2021
please don't leave me
please
please
please
pleaaase don't leave me
i love you so much
please don't leave
i'll be anything you want me to be
i'll lose weight i'll let you cheat on me just please don't leave
please don't leave me
i'm sorry i got angry when you ****** another girl just please stay baby i'll do anything for you please
thorn May 2021
over the moon
observing active decay
day by day
thorn Mar 2021
Take over
It’s fine I promise
Make a shell out of me
***** making me tired
This is just something I’ve put too much energy into trying to fix
I ran my course
And to think
thorn Jun 2021
vulnerability
i should've been able to indulge in it
thorn Mar 2021
i hope it resonates
the ways of me
my eyes you'll drown in deep crystal blue as you sink to the bottom
where god hid gold
my laugh deafening and leaving no silence for hate
plump lips where words fly like knives and cut open your heart
the numbers carved into my collarbone numbering your days
in existence
i am alpha
i am the omega
the beginning
and the end
thorn May 2021
when my day comes
i know what i'll feel
i'll feel the fear
the realization
the regret
the awareness
the acceptance
it'll be the most terrifying and peaceful moment
the moment i was born to feel
the feeling i was destined to experience
starting as a twinkle in my fathers eye
the first atom in the giant explosion of stars and galaxies
that nonexistence gave birth to from the canal of endless black abyss
thorn May 2021
i can't indulge in my favorite escape
it'll make me fat
thorn Jul 2021
it doesn’t matter who buried the knife first
we both had a blade hidden the entire time
thorn Feb 2021
someday when we're both old brother
we'll forget everything
all the walks to sonic
all the late night trips to walmart
dying our hair together
eating candy that made us feel silly
cooking supper together
inhaling until the world around us began to morphe
picking up dog **** so I could stay the night
all the music you made me listen to
all the music i made you listen to
but it's ok
i don't think i'll ever forget how it all made me feel
like i discovered a part of me
you gave me access to
with your love
and the person i got to see you grow into
you put the life back into me
when i'm ready i will fly us out of here
someday
thorn Mar 2021
and just when i thought i had enough
i feel every part of myself ascending
this isn't love
this is the hardest **** ive ever smoked
high on lust
and baby
we've still got an ounce to smoke
thorn Jul 2021
I really hope this kills me
Existence is a night sky
And Freedom is a shooting star
But I’ll shoot for the moon
And meet you at Mars
mom
thorn Mar 2021
mom
dude like listen
i love you
i grew inside your womb
you created me with your own flesh
the best of our relationship
was before i could even form a thought
and that's kind of sad
thorn May 2021
you're the closest to heaven
that i'll ever be
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