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1.0k · May 2021
iris
thorn May 2021
wake up
you wouldn't wanna miss your autopsy
629 · Jun 2021
itty
thorn Jun 2021
vulnerability
i should've been able to indulge in it
548 · Apr 2021
there is no other side
thorn Apr 2021
waking up in the middle of the night
struggling to breathe
searching for anything my eyes can find
noticing all the little statics of reality
this is a losing fight
and no one can save me
here, there is no individuality
sleeping is micro dosing death
and when i realized that
eternal slumber didn't worry me as much
354 · Jun 2021
cardiac
thorn Jun 2021
I love feeling my heart get weaker
I mean hey
I asked it to stop pumping a long time ago
325 · Mar 2021
i won't let you forget me
thorn Mar 2021
i hope it resonates
the ways of me
my eyes you'll drown in deep crystal blue as you sink to the bottom
where god hid gold
my laugh deafening and leaving no silence for hate
plump lips where words fly like knives and cut open your heart
the numbers carved into my collarbone numbering your days
in existence
i am alpha
i am the omega
the beginning
and the end
299 · May 2021
mors voluntaria
thorn May 2021
you're the closest to heaven
that i'll ever be
280 · Mar 2021
derived
thorn Mar 2021
i can't unsee my eyes
i'll always feel my fingers
grounded to my toes
mouse brown shall always root in my skull
there's just some parts of you
i can't outrun
269 · Apr 2021
healer
thorn Apr 2021
don't worry about me
i'll worry about you
it's my job
relax son,
i'm your guardian angel
if your soul is cracking at the seams
you can have some of mine
and when i'm gone
you can return it with your tears
and replace it with my peace
777
240 · Mar 2021
mom
thorn Mar 2021
mom
dude like listen
i love you
i grew inside your womb
you created me with your own flesh
the best of our relationship
was before i could even form a thought
and that's kind of sad
224 · Apr 2021
get a load of this monster
thorn Apr 2021
in the most platonic way possible
i enjoy sleeping next to you
or anyone i love
because i know
i'm sleeping next to someone who will miss me when i'm dead
218 · May 2021
don't wake
thorn May 2021
i'll shove every word into my skull
until the tears stop falling
and i forget your face
thegirlyoufuckedwhileiworkedanextrashiftsoicouldgetyouanicechristmaspresentlistenedtoolivertreeandhonestlyfuckyoubothwhydidyoucheatonmemaybeihurtyousometimesbutfuckyouusetocallmearetardandabitch
209 · Feb 2021
November
thorn Feb 2021
Back in November
I shaved my head
You told me
"Do whatever you want"
I asked if you'd still find me beautiful
"Yes" you lied
I shaved my hair because it was bound
Bound in a mess of self destruction
And self hatred
Looking back
My hair was a symbol of us
And like my hair
I loved you
but I shedded you too
-"November"
207 · Apr 2021
i don't know what i miss
thorn Apr 2021
orange and red streaks reflected on garden eyes
smoke in my lungs
and a tiny bit of cancer between two delicate fingers
as you grow, everything changes
for better or for worse
life is short baby girl
light a cig
203 · Jun 2021
heat waves
thorn Jun 2021
Summer this year doesn’t feel like all the others
I can’t help but see the calories on a can of Arizona tea
Abanonded on a park bench
When did that become all I could see?
thorn Mar 2021
my dad might not rule the nightosphere
he may not be an eternal entity of chaos
he may not even have ate my fries
but when marceline sees him
i can feel everything
we are from niburu
182 · May 2021
ribs
thorn May 2021
underneath my skin
favorite sin
:)
166 · Mar 2021
stay
thorn Mar 2021
I don’t want peace
I want chaos
I don’t want stability
I want endless uncertainty
I can’t feel anything else
165 · Apr 2021
pumpkin head
thorn Apr 2021
some things bring me joy
like the drip of a faucet
coming to an end
knowing there will be a day
where there will be one less boy
and between life and death you shall cross it
lay in your eternal bed
what i love most about you
is that one day you'll be dead
call me crazy
but i hate your ******* guts
you'll never see me again
but just know
i revel in how much i can depise you
164 · Jul 2021
kys or get over it
thorn Jul 2021
it doesn’t matter who buried the knife first
we both had a blade hidden the entire time
143 · Mar 2021
we've been acid washed
thorn Mar 2021
it has been 3 years since ive seen you
who are you
there's an image i have of you in my minds eye
but i don't know where my pupils are
you use to make me laugh until i couldn't breathe
but i haven't felt my lungs in years
what are you if i ain't me?
did we really grow up? is this it?
139 · Mar 2021
999
thorn Mar 2021
999
“Is this how you want your life to go?”
No
That’s why I’ll be gone by 21
135 · Apr 2021
encore
thorn Apr 2021
i knew a man who was the best **** actor
i'd ever met
there was this silky texture to his skin underneath the stage lights
there was endless echoes in his laughter
his arms were a safe haven within his own theatre
i could feel his soul become one with mine
watching him perform an entire act
with just our bodies
i don't think i have ever seen a portrayal of love look so convincing
but it was all an act
when the lights were out and he took off his mask
there stood a gremlin of a man
possessing the most vile soul i had ever come in contact with
a man who convinced me i was a precursor of his lies
there stood an extension of Abaddon
in the middle of an empty stage
123 · May 2021
i sat in my car screaming
thorn May 2021
please don't leave me
please
please
please
pleaaase don't leave me
i love you so much
please don't leave
i'll be anything you want me to be
i'll lose weight i'll let you cheat on me just please don't leave
please don't leave me
i'm sorry i got angry when you ****** another girl just please stay baby i'll do anything for you please
122 · May 2021
ephiphany
thorn May 2021
why are there already nats around me?
i'm not dead yet you freaks
115 · Mar 2021
derived part 2
thorn Mar 2021
We’re the same
We’re complete opposites
I grew around you
But you aren’t that anymore
And now I am no longer growing around who you use to be
But I have become you
The you that no longer exists
114 · Apr 2021
you
thorn Apr 2021
you
hi there
strawberry locks
porceline skin
seashell pink lips
hiding teeth so fair
someone who has me lost
despair becoming thin
let me brush your hair with my finger tips
i knew from the moment i met you
we were gonna change each others life
i chased after being happy when you were around
and walked when you could no longer run
maybe the universe isn't so cruel
loving someone, not by the edge of a knife
of you, i surround myself with an excessive amount
because loving you is fun
108 · Mar 2021
hey, nameless
thorn Mar 2021
you're not all one
but in my mind you shall be
through your bedroom window and the floor beside your bed i lied
in the garage i smoked *** with you and your baby-mothers-father
in the back of your car where i first heard the melody of my soul
in your inner city house i spent too much time in
waking up in your arms and you lying to me then and months down the road
sleeping in your van while it was 40 degrees
in your arms because i was lonely
in your heatless house with candles lit and all but it wasn't romantic
running on no sleep while the sun scanned over us that morning
in your basement while your mom was at work
in another basement as i stared at the posters on your wall
you are different people
but i still got what i wanted
and ill never stop until the hole in my heart is fixed
105 · Mar 2021
getting better
thorn Mar 2021
i'm in unimaginable pain
but i have never been happier
you once said "i think i am the cause of a lot of your problems"
and you were absolutely right my love
104 · Mar 2021
beg
thorn Mar 2021
beg
I deleted all the photos
I blocked you on everything
I moved to an entire new state to get away from you
Yet I noticed
I still sleep in your shirt
102 · Mar 2021
i bet on losing dogs
thorn Mar 2021
it's nearly impossible to fathom how somebody else is alive because i chose to be
with this roots emerged from the soil beneath my feet
curling around every inch of skin rapidly
down my throat and over my eyes
i have become encased
within the plane of a boy prophet
102 · Mar 2021
process
thorn Mar 2021
going through the motions
i have accepted you'll be here the rest of my life
so like a wound i just tend to you when you're at your worst
and sit and enjoy a cup of coffee when you're at your quietest
102 · Mar 2021
your words
thorn Mar 2021
i surround myself with art
i smother myself in it's love
because i have to realize
i am a manifestation of existence
so stuck on the walls
are parts of me
sunlight coming in through the window
i wish i had a stogie
101 · May 2021
anyway here's wonderwall
thorn May 2021
the original me bled out on her mothers ***** bathroom floor
the filth and abuse because too much for her
everything since that day
hasn't
felt
real
shady what the ******* saying!?
"I don't know help me!"
thorn Feb 2021
someday when we're both old brother
we'll forget everything
all the walks to sonic
all the late night trips to walmart
dying our hair together
eating candy that made us feel silly
cooking supper together
inhaling until the world around us began to morphe
picking up dog **** so I could stay the night
all the music you made me listen to
all the music i made you listen to
but it's ok
i don't think i'll ever forget how it all made me feel
like i discovered a part of me
you gave me access to
with your love
and the person i got to see you grow into
you put the life back into me
when i'm ready i will fly us out of here
someday
97 · Feb 2021
"Your Alignment is Off"
thorn Feb 2021
The technician says
And he's right
My hands and mind
start on the same road
but my mind wonders to field beside my vessel
and my hands follow soon
leaving my responsiblities
unfinished.
"It's who I am" I respond
The fields are beautiful
They give me instant happiness
Until the dirt road East
Calls my name too
"It is you
but what you don't realize is sooner or later
you're going to be lost
you're going to be on empty
you're going to crash."
I didn't hear him.
Guilt brought my attention back to the road
Stealing all beauty
Of what distracted me.
"You just need correction."
But
I don't want that.
Executive Dysfunction boiiiii
ADHD bran
96 · May 2021
prom queen
thorn May 2021
it'll never be enough
because if it was i would be suffering
m̶o̶r̶e̶
93 · Apr 2021
high school sweethearts
thorn Apr 2021
i never understood how you can love someone
and not be ready for them
because if it was true love you'd take them
anytime
anyday
anywhere
any life
but that's just not the case
when i look at you i see somebody whose loved me for a long time
and i've taken it for granted because on some level it's not what i want
truly
if i ever had your heart
i'd take it for granted
but it's ok babe
just hold my hand
and we'll go get cotton candy together.
we never dated but we've been connected a long time
i chose someone else over you and looked what happened
i think on some level i deserved it
for what i did to you
but hey,
holding grudges over love is ancient artifacts
93 · May 2021
it doesn't matter anymore
thorn May 2021
over the moon
observing active decay
day by day
89 · May 2021
i'm lying
thorn May 2021
it won't matter that i wasn't enough
if we all one day will experience the same thing
we're all as worthy as one another
and that's enough validation for me
89 · Apr 2021
the boy who cried wolf
thorn Apr 2021
i'd be lying if i said i didn't miss the way your arms shield me from the cold
i'd be lying if i said i didn't miss how you wrapped yourself around me like i was your everything
i'd be lying if i said i don't wanna feel how i did whenever you'd pull me closer in your sleep
but
i wouldn't exactly be telling the truth if i said i miss the way you never listened
i wouldn't exactly be telling the truth if i told you i loved the names you called me whenever i would be having a freakout
i wouldn't exactly be telling the truth if i implied that i enjoyed the way cheated on me
but then again
i love the way you lie
thorn May 2021
if i hide long enough
if no one sees me
do i exist
88 · May 2021
am i tired
thorn May 2021
i know this will **** me
i don't seem to care
i wanna be laid to rest in all the happy memories i have always been swadeled in
it seems as though that blanket only drew to my ankles
i have cold feet about the rest of my life
85 · Mar 2021
diluted cancer
thorn Mar 2021
i use to grab your vape from our bed
faster than your hands could move
and i would grin at you as i raised it to my mouth
i would hack immediately
"see? what did i tell you?"
you didn't tell me ****
the homie and i would roam the back roads
passing it back and forth
it felt like stitches for my soul
so i really doubt
it was the nic that hurt me
**** your truce
82 · Mar 2021
i'm your gwampa robot
thorn Mar 2021
i am AMO
the little robot from adventure time
i am self destructive
i am ******* absolutely out of my mind
as i grew in my mothers womb
i was created to recieve love
el ayuwoki
82 · May 2021
now then and forever
thorn May 2021
i don't care when you won't love me
it's just cool that your here now
78 · May 2021
splitting
thorn May 2021
*******
baby
i hate you so much
please don't leave me
get the **** away from me you disgusting *****
i'll change i promise
this is why nobody likes you
it wasn't you, it was me
why the **** are you like this you knew this would upset me
i'll be anything you want me to be sweetheart don't leave me please
i'm in the process of trying to get tested for BPD/ treated for whatever I have
i can just remember everything i sabotaged because i crave instability
77 · Feb 2021
sipping old coffee
thorn Feb 2021
it's nasty
but i love it
the way i associate with the beauty of all the colors
the way my brush goes side to side
as i create my happiness on cheap paper
jake the dog
thorn May 2021
he once wrote on my bulletin board in animal crossing
"you're precious"
my baby
my baby
you're my baby
say it to me
70 · Mar 2021
a hole
thorn Mar 2021
at least i know you have my back
when i lost my grandpa
you were there
when i felt loved
you were there
when my friends left
you were there
when i met my brother
you were there
when my momma and i fought
you were there
when my dad left
you were there
when i suffered among filth
you were there
when i fell in love
you were there
when i lost love
you were there
i took pills for awhile
to bring back the light
you wouldn't go away
stopped taking them
i can't get rid of you
you are all i have
at 16 i was diagnosed with severe depression
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