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Jul 2017 · 10.4k
our winters
Ruzica Matic Jul 2017
pigeons still
wait for meals
by that bench
where Sun once grew
in tufts of gold

girls skipping classes
to window shop
their scarves wild
and their nails chipped

tough boys go out and smoke
and cough and dance
and act brave
and cut their hair
in the dark

and words of a new language
tumble down our tongues
head over heels
tasting strange
but falling into place
after all
Jul 2017 · 528
leaving
Ruzica Matic Jul 2017
dust and smoke
old bones
and rusty thrones
fade in the mist
our train
heading to a new place
will we be missed?

will we forget the smell
are we destined
forever to dwell
on stories
and words
that swell
out of eyes
and hands
and feet
out of
foggy tunnels
and ***** sleet
Jul 2017 · 340
holes
Ruzica Matic Jul 2017
I woke up rainy one day
with storm in my eyes
my feet already wearing boots

I was ready to wade into the river
to tear up nets set by strange hands
break the barriers keeping the current captive

then leave wet footprints on the shore
with the wind leashed by my side
a loyal wolf
- dog eyed and only half wild
Jul 2017 · 847
the truth
Ruzica Matic Jul 2017
a breaking of a tooth
a crackle crunch of pain
and a perfect dapple
of a dying drying oak
coming together
in the eyes and ears of a storm

that's the place to find all your days
to remember all your sinewy sins
to let the honey-heavy heat of shame
wash you clean
down to your yellowed toes

that's the place to cry
and to listen and to lie

your red rosy fingers blurring your face
and your ordinary eyes
just a common brown

they could always see
so well
Jul 2017 · 452
a woman
Ruzica Matic Jul 2017
there's dust on her face
but she's a girl still
her sensible cotton shirt
is black and loose
and she's so wide now
the dreams and the limbs
strewn across the canvas of her days

cutting into her workman's hands
handles of rough bags
leaving white marks in her blood
still swelling
a little thicker now

stray hairs on her neck
that would have terrified her once
stand proud
just something that's here to stay
and she is not her own
she is her children's blood
and laundry days
and all those times she smiled
through tears
and patted little heads

she's more real the the ocean
she never saw
and just as salty
just as wild
woman mom life
May 2016 · 1.1k
twisted
Ruzica Matic May 2016
my brittle bones
are cramped now
slinky and snug
like a clinging dress
ill-fitting
but too pretty
not to wear
your footprints
suspended in the empty
echoes of the city on your trail

my hand holding your hand
a perfumed secret
sprouting whispers
which bite
like thorns
and jagged bones

our souls
two hummingbirds
in frightful flight
with wings fast
terrified
ready to ignite
May 2016 · 679
ten years later
Ruzica Matic May 2016
my best friend,
plucking grey hairs
from the top of my head
chasing away the cracks
around eyes and mouth
forever eighteen

laughing in the sun
drinking hot chocolate
in the heat of July
painting our lips
practicing kisses in mirrors
over and over again

window shopping for boys
with wild hair
and dangerous smiles
driving nowhere
midnight striking the clocks
all around town

forever eighteen
days stretching before us
an endless buffet
a bursting bouquet
what's a little grey
when my eyes are so full of summer
May 2016 · 541
before
Ruzica Matic May 2016
I love feeling my sins
inside the bones
of my fingers
poised over
the pages of a book
peeking out
to have a little look

I hate hearing
your heart beat
thud
tick
too far away
for me to measure
someone else's treasure
now

my soul
your soul
untethered
yearning to soar
gliding on swan lakes
like Russian ballerinas
and fine filigree flakes
floating down
as the night wakes
May 2016 · 653
Unstill Waters
Ruzica Matic May 2016
The river sings
The willows wail
Princesses in castle towers
Growing out their hair
Watching the landscape
Wind-wild and bare

No one coming
Over the bridge
No dancing shoes
That pinch and sting -
Only a comfortable
Weaving of tales
An angry pounding
Of summer hails

And fires burning
Burning through the night -
Are we too old to stop now
Too cold to put up a fight?
May 2016 · 688
An Ordinary Day
Ruzica Matic May 2016
Drip
Dropping
Tick
Tocking
Time bleeds
From the sky
A beautiful grey
A half-closed eye

Rain filled fountains
Spill over our shoes
The Moon is a plum
A tender soft bruise

There are little killing words
Hanging on a string
Stiff and starched
They cut and they cling

To the skins of liars
And the skins of thieves
Pretty petty burglars
With pocketed sleeves
Nov 2015 · 1.2k
***
Ruzica Matic Nov 2015
***
wherever you are
I hope
you're warm
I hope there's food
good food
poppy seed strudel
and hot tea

wherever you are
I hope
there's laughter
in the morning
under covers
when your foot's
peeking out

wherever you are
I hope you
have that coat
with deep pockets
and some holes
not too big
I hope you wear it
when it's chilly out

wherever you are
I hope
you are free
your crow hair
forever dark
tricksters on you trail
never catching up
Nov 2015 · 479
entangled
Ruzica Matic Nov 2015
old dreams
are deadly lovers
vain virtuosi
forever tricking
our fickle heartbeats

grand illusionists
hypnotizing lonely souls
feeding on hazy mornings
long gone
all gone now

but who are we
to deny them
who are we
to stop them now
hope has taken root
deep under our house
Nov 2015 · 1.2k
A Day in April
Ruzica Matic Nov 2015
there are grim reapers in the park
their phantom breaths a sick breeze
on the bank of the stormy Danube
murmuring in mutinous trees

people wearing coats
too warm
too bright
buying bread and cigarettes
placing bets

guessing which city
is due to scream today
and then heal
all over again
because
that is the way
- that's always been
our way
Nov 2015 · 510
pocket memories
Ruzica Matic Nov 2015
we sit and count
the moments
the drops of honey
in porcelain cups
the teeth we broke
playing hopscotch

the jagged edges
dull now
and the flowers
drowning in tea

your pocket watch
measuring heartbeats
and truths
- a wild metronome
ticking away
the last breaths
of the sonata
in the sun

keeping up
with busy steps
of those
left in the schoolyard
skipping the cracks
and the chalk lines
Nov 2015 · 2.6k
***
Ruzica Matic Nov 2015
***
I am an invisible woman
inside a circus tent
- a ghost of a clown
who lost her nose
fading into red
weighed down
by words unsaid

I am a clumsy dervish
whirling
a tumbling blur
forever restless
like a wild curl

I am a shadow
when need be
a wallflower
a hidden bower
protecting me

I am your mirror
your frown
your smile
I am your window
as you are mine
Nov 2015 · 296
november
Ruzica Matic Nov 2015
coiling mists
down long winding roads
a hundred dark riders
blurring the lines of frost
pursuing frail dreams
and things lost

chasing the memory
chasing the day
green rivers
combing their hair
with willow fingers
brittle and bare
Nov 2015 · 283
bitter beginnings
Ruzica Matic Nov 2015
do we get a free pass
do we forget what was said
under the pale stargazer's sky
- words flowing scarlet red
old vows a gossamer thread
Oct 2015 · 857
remember when
Ruzica Matic Oct 2015
remember when
we were Vikings
ice in our eyes
flying on promises
with hearts so wise

crystal mornings
our playgrounds
echoing breaths
those lovely sounds

on cracking water
treading the waves
limbs so strong
no right no wrong

dancing on hot feet
under Aurora lights
help me remember
those wild flights
Oct 2015 · 1.5k
***
Ruzica Matic Oct 2015
***
walking away
in my new boots
boots stiff and cheap
but they will keep
some of the cold away

wishing the past into the now
wishing the mornings
with the shades drawn
wishing the cuts
in the sharp grass

running barefoot
running with our cares
on our shoulders
- old friends
not heavy at all
Aug 2015 · 1.1k
***
Ruzica Matic Aug 2015
***
dark whispers
boil inside our violent skies
icy stars plummet and crash
- is there a place
where we can stash
the last supply of sun?
Aug 2015 · 976
***
Ruzica Matic Aug 2015
***
he taught dead languages
with a passion
that made her so alive
- ancient dawns
across new skies
syllables rhyming
in the dark

creased pages
corners upturned
whispers of pencils
whispers of rains

trailing long fingers
down memory lanes
writing letters
on window panes
Aug 2015 · 1.3k
***
Ruzica Matic Aug 2015
***
long desperate journeys
unfold in the mist
curving looping roads
tangle and untwist
searching for a lover
like lips never kissed

must we always hurt
for the things we missed
always adding hopes
to the bucket list

yearning for the times
that might never come
for summers of honey
for autumns of plum

hoping for rain
in deserted towns
picking through the ruins
and losing our crowns
Aug 2015 · 592
***
Ruzica Matic Aug 2015
***
we learned how to tread water
in the heart of the city
- swimming through the ashes
of other people's days
other people's ways

we learned how to melt
the last of the scarlet hours
inside a coffee cup
stirring them in like a secret spice

we learned to always water our plants
even that cactus
that doesn't need much watering at all
forever hoping for it to bloom

we learned never to ask questions
learned to paint over our walls
again and again
Jun 2015 · 2.7k
***
Ruzica Matic Jun 2015
***
staring at screens
blinking at lights
we blur the lines
of maps and flights
maybe it's time
to chase some kites

jump in the lake
release our hair
shrug off
the constant stop and play
swim through the night
dream away the day
I think we must be
such a cliché
Jun 2015 · 792
collisions
Ruzica Matic Jun 2015
butterflies beating
powdered wings
love frenzy
tearing colours apart
- in gardens of summer
there float diamonds
heated bursts
flickering dusts

there we sit
and drink the air
sour sweet
a strange affair

if we collide
will the lies come off?
smudged hues
and sunsets that bruise
might make us change
our tilted views
Jun 2015 · 1.3k
twilight days
Ruzica Matic Jun 2015
greeting the morning
with spoonfuls of sunshine
in our bitter teas
we smell the earth
beneath the boots
of endless steps
rain filled
feeding the roots
of walnut trees

crushing daisies
between the pages
capturing breaths
in fishing nets
we glint in moonlight
silver and slight
Jun 2015 · 496
***
Ruzica Matic Jun 2015
***
those honey days
flew by in a swirl
of skirts and ties
dancing drunk
on morning dew

now it's time to wait
for the phone to ring
a knock at the door
creaking of the floor

keeping the keys
was never this hard
guarding the rooms
hollow
scarred
Jun 2015 · 764
***
Ruzica Matic Jun 2015
***
I was always
an impatient kind of girl
casting impulsive glances
in supermarket lines
drawing you in
with my city-light eyes

you were always
a rebellious kind of boy
a grey eyed reader
of hearts and minds
sharp edged and bold
or so I'm told

crow black hair
an onyx wing
pulling me in
making it ring

colliding in corridors
stuck in a lift
on our gazelle legs
forever adrift
Jun 2015 · 624
***
Ruzica Matic Jun 2015
***
the eternity
winks back at us
from the depthless
balcony view
we stand here
holding hands
hoping
we can be new

my purse is full
of ten billion dinar notes
Tesla's face
crinkled and old
not enough to buy
a cinema ticket
just enough
to fight off the cold

the expanse of days
stretches before us
memories yapping
at our heels
do we still have it in us
to make new reels?
Jun 2015 · 419
***
Ruzica Matic Jun 2015
***
sometimes
in the rain
the echoes
of faraway rooms
drip drop on the ground
cigarette smoke
pinches my cheeks red

I read and cry
fortunes won and lost
at the flip of the page
hearts broken
hearts glued back

your hands
pick me up
from the ashes
of garden flowers
place me
in a new soil
and wait for me
to sprout
perfumed words
Jun 2015 · 424
***
Ruzica Matic Jun 2015
***
cherries that taste
like red sunsets
curl my tongue
-a bitter dart
climbing the ladder
was the easiest part

now what do we do
if we get caught
hide in our room
conceal our crimson smiles
run to the river
to wash away the lies

forget our shoes
remember the nettle bites
whizzing by with static
in our hair
I was never the one
to refuse a dare
Jun 2015 · 1.5k
Sunday Longing
Ruzica Matic Jun 2015
I'm going to smile
myself silly
I'm going to jump around
and shake my hands in the air
I'm going to slide
across the floor
in my fuzzy socks
and I'm going to
read Shakespeare
really loudly
and I might just
let my fingertips
make a smiley face
on a foggy window
of a bus leaving
to a new place
and I'm not going to wish
you were here
Jun 2015 · 506
***
Ruzica Matic Jun 2015
***
color the world
with shiny scarves
fluttering in the wind
as we chase the bus
leaving the stop too soon

pigeons exploding
in the sky
in a swirld of white
and grey
and the sun
beating on us
with his tongue
lolling out
like a yappy little dog
I think we should
chase it
Jun 2015 · 457
***
Ruzica Matic Jun 2015
***
yearning fingers
pumping sticky blood
swelling like strawberries in May
grabbing lines and hooks
learning to play
a treacherous game
involving hearts and breaths
and whispers of air

crying over spilled dreams
holding on to broken handshakes
I was always just a little mad
a little scared

the fish are biting
and so is the day
all sharp and sugar white
the first pinpricks of rain
dancing in the hay
Jun 2015 · 524
***
Ruzica Matic Jun 2015
***
lounging lazily
licking sour lollipops
and drinking the night
we dream up constellations
black holes
lingering in light

the morning is still
just a distant thought
lost in a lake

on lopsided feet
we lurch and dance
with lemon stained lips
while the silky sky
winks at our lilliputian lives
dotting the beach
Jun 2015 · 418
***
Ruzica Matic Jun 2015
***
how will I know
if I've grown old?
maybe I'll just wake up one day
see a stranger in the mirror
wearing my eyes and my clothes

maybe I'll feel it
in the creaking of my bones
when I try to get up to fast
or play hopscotch

maybe I'll forget
what it felt like
to stand in the pouring rain
and feel so full of sun

will you tell me?
will you tell me if
you see the grey in my eyes
and will you remind me?
Jun 2015 · 395
***
Ruzica Matic Jun 2015
***
gliding up
and sliding down
a life full of muddy trails
extends like a coiling cord
a Bakelite phone
hoping to ring

eyes watching
from the window
waiting for your stormy head
to appear from behind
the curve in the road

thinking about all the things
that must be said
then running back
to a closed room
somewhere out of sight
Jun 2015 · 393
***
Ruzica Matic Jun 2015
***
I woke up rainy one day
with storm in my eyes
my feet already wearing boots

I was ready to wade
into the river
to tear up nets
set by strange hands
break the barriers
keeping the current captive

then leave wet footprints
on the shore
with the wind leashed
by my side
a loyal wolf
dog eyed and only half wild
Jun 2015 · 927
the future is ours
Ruzica Matic Jun 2015
we need a plan
in case of emergencies
and unexpected nightfalls
when the world turns sharp edged
and strange

we need to prepare
for days of pale faces
wet socks
and cold hands

we need to hold each other
and mend each other’s tears
- sowing the untethered buttons back on

we need to let ourselves breathe
when the air is hard to come by
and we need to let go
of stale dreams
that rot away in attic corners
and dusty chests

we need to walk
into the shiny street
wearing nothing
but our best smiles
reserved for Sundays
and first stork nests
Feb 2015 · 541
***
Ruzica Matic Feb 2015
***
I went out after dark again
to smell the flowers in our garden
the sky was whisper-thin
vanilla scented
cherry sour

and you were still inside
my empty empty
butterfly heart

because
as you know
I was never that smart

I hope you find
that silver lining

I hope you still smile
that crooked smile

I hope you discover
that great design

And I

I will be fine
Feb 2015 · 904
***
Ruzica Matic Feb 2015
***
I lean my head on the windowpane,
and watch the snowflakes swirl
and plummet to the ground;
your room is warm and smells like Earl Grey tea
and mahogany;
words spill out from cluttered shelves
and pour out of half-open drawers;
I sit in your favorite chair,
all alone;
my brittle fingers,
with their hollow bones,
search for pieces of you,
hidden away in nooks
and corners,
in leather bound volumes
and lingering notes of Bergamot.

The clock is ticking loudly,
like always,
and I sit and watch the door.
Feb 2015 · 953
***
Ruzica Matic Feb 2015
***
You were my professor
and I was your flighty student
and you could never teach me to
think before I loved

You were always so serious
with your frowns
and your sad grey eyes
and I was a swirl
of dancing skirts
and little white lies

You talked with me
and you walked with me
for many winter-kissed miles
and when I felt you turn away
I tickled your hidden smiles

And I want you to know
you were my first place prize
Feb 2015 · 547
***
Ruzica Matic Feb 2015
***
Do you remember that day?

That day when ice-cream dripped
down our fingers
and we were so happy

Weren't we?

The day our eyes closed
from the force of our smiles
and our fingertips tingled
and tickled our feather-wings

It was the longest summer
- the hottest in living memory they say

But to us the heat only meant
the days were ours to drink
- endless hours in the grass

We lounged by the lazy river
and you played with the brim
of my big white hat
and you smiled
with the whole of your body

Do you remember that?

It's winter now
and I'm wearing my navy coat
with brass buttons
- like a soldier's
and my steps echo
along your scenic street

I don't even turn my head
when I pass by
your white picket fence
Feb 2015 · 3.9k
***
Ruzica Matic Feb 2015
***
there are no more games to play
no more running around in circles
until our heads spun
and our legs gave out
under the weight of our laughs
no more twirling under
the sun at noon
with nothing
but the sounds of the forest
to be our tune

we left it all in the dust
slowly crawling away
inside our under-lived lives
until we were so far removed
from that swirling stream
of long honeydew days
that we could not even remember
how it felt to run barefoot in the rain
Jan 2015 · 867
***
Ruzica Matic Jan 2015
***
The river rippled
between my fingers
and it was velvet
and satin
and steel

The day smelled
of old earth
and secrets

that day
when we went fishing
for the truth

And the hooks
glinted in the sun
they were beautiful
and lovely

lovely killing things
Nov 2014 · 719
***
Ruzica Matic Nov 2014
***
A memory is like a bird
with shimmering feathers
whose colours  you can never quite tell

They glint and darken
in a time it takes
for a bird's heart to beat

Once
Twice
Flutter
Falter

You can smell
a memory

Good ones
smell like mornings
and dews
and fresh bread

Bad ones
smell like wet earth
and wood
and candle flames

And the memories yet to come
tickle and tease
your hopeful mind
with promises of new smiles
and new heartbeats

Once
Twice
Oct 2014 · 816
Vertigo
Ruzica Matic Oct 2014
You are a vertigo
you are untethered
you're free flying
falling like a
blue blue star

Your secret heart
is a Mariana Trench
and your dreams
are Moon-licked tides

Your flicker-eyes
are fiery candles
dangerous and wild

Would you please
grab me by the hand
and take me for a dive?
#love   #free   #fly
Jul 2014 · 1.1k
***
Ruzica Matic Jul 2014
***
I've been saving my smiles
for stormy skies

for umbrella days
and rainy eyes

for chocolate kisses
and cherry pies

for Turkish delights
and lullabies

for mists and dews
and seagull cries

I've been saving them
for our blue goodbyes
Jun 2014 · 2.1k
Joy
Ruzica Matic Jun 2014
Joy
The Danube was moody that night
- stormy and loud and rowdy
like a happy old drunk

we walked side by side
and counted the stars
exploding in the sky

we were young
and we were new
and the air felt like fireworks

I wore a frilly skirt
and a silly smile

you wore your dinner jacket
with your grown-up tie

and we danced to the music
across the ripple river

while Belgrade woke up
all around us
with whispers and sighs
Jun 2014 · 610
Sunday
Ruzica Matic Jun 2014
green water glistening
in puddles on the pavement

the smell of sawdust
and coffee beans

muffled laughter
behind the curtains

clinging of pots and pans
a dinner being made

TV news and weather report
'Should i carry an umbrella tomorrow?'

a bedtime story
and fresh fluffy pillows

silvery moonshine
on the walls

the only sound is made
by a dripping tap
and the ink stains
on my fingers
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