I DONT WANT TO SCREAM PLEASE HELP ME BUT WHY CANT YOU SEE THE ******* PAIN IN MY EYES WHEN I CAN BARELY FORCE A SMILE WHEN YOU SAY GOOD NIGHT AND I JUST WANT TO SAY GOOD BYE

Jack isn’t your best friend. No matter how smooth he talks to you, no matter how warm he makes you. He’s the abusive lover that only makes you feel good just to crush you completely a minute later.

We're born alone and we die alone, yeah, but I'd like to die in love with you. Life means nothing, but you mean something to me. Back into the dirt we go, but I want to go alone in your arms.

If you want my heart you must ask my curves for permission first.
Convince them you will be the one to adore them, no matter their width or depth.
Let your hands do the talking.
Touch me so soft I tremble and you break the code.
Only then will they allow my chest to open and my heart will be yours to keep.

I believe in love. Love has the power to heal and create. There’s hopeless love, family love, friend love, and love for everyone, especially those with four furry feet. My family has taught me the beginning of how to love. Even deeper, my grandparent’s have shown me complete unconditional and raw love. From sickness and health, to rich and poor, they’ve been glued together for 38 years now. The pets I’ve owned taught me love isn’t just restricted to humans. Often, animals stick around longer to comfort and love than friends do. However, friends and lovers teach a whole new level of love. I’ve realized that love can be just temporary. Being the hopeless romantic I am, I search for love everywhere and find love in every dusty corner. I’ve seen that sometimes you’re only meant to love someone for a limited amount of time until you feel the need to move on to someone else and fill their life with the power of it. Friends, family, lovers, pets, they all come and go, but love is forever.
I believe in love because I’ve been hurt. I’m happy to lose by caring more for someone as long as it means i get the chance to show them what it’s like to be loved by fire. I’m not afraid to feel. Love isn’t just one feeling to me, it comes in many different feelings. It’s in all feelings. Without hate there’d be no love and vice versa. Love creates beauty, love creates hate, love creates people, love lets the world go around. When we learn to love, we learn how to make things better.
Three years ago my Uncle was killed unexpectedly in an accident and that loss of love in my family has completely changed the way we loved since. We learned how to love each other stronger, how to love ourselves more, and most importantly how to love life. Our family bond is unbreakable now. The devastating loss and going through the grief and learning more about love has made me more of myself than anything in the world ever could.
Love comes to us in many different ways. Love is action, love is emotion, love is expressed. Love is free and binds us all. Without love, we wouldn’t be people. It’s what defines us. You can’t have anything without it. Not a career, not passion, nothing, because nothing would matter without love. There is absolutely nothing you can’t love. Flowers, food, kids, sleeping, puzzles, it’s okay to love it all and all is deservant of love.
  “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” Corinthians 13:4-8

The earth was zapped today by a solar storm and my heart was zapped by something that won't ever result in something as beautiful as the Northern Lights.

Missing your lips
Below my hips
Little licks
Making my feelings mix
Biting my thighs
Trying hard not to let out a sigh
Of pleasure
You'll go to any measure
To make me moan
I wanna groan
You dive in deep
I wonder how long I can keep
From screaming
Your eyes are beaming
Our skin is glowing
Our bodies are flowing
Together in beat
I want you to beat
Inside of me faster
You know you're my master.

I think about you everyday and I know you think I'm insane. you're the reason I take those pills when I can't sleep and you're the reason I don't wake up in the morning and gag when I eat and I still feel the way you touched my heart (what's left of it) and I remember how you felt pushing into me like the wind blowing a cloud with such force and comfort and is it bad i remember the way your nails looked and the way the hair peekabooed out of your nose like a hare in a hole and your arms soft and strong when you wrapped yourself around me like a boa constrictor with its prey
but let that not be just a metaphor for the way that you held me, I mean you squeezed the life out of me with your anger and jealousy, you used me and ate what was left of the security I thought I had. If you hadn't killed me when you left I wouldn't miss you so bad. You took parts of me I didn't know Id miss, you took parts of me I didn't know I had. You gave me a new name and bad habits. Now I smoke when I think of you and I miss sharing a cigarette with you in the car like we didn't have a **** in the world. We were lonely sinners that no one cared about. Who'd give a **** about the couple that cut each other and snuck out at midnight to make love and lied our ***** off because we didn't have anything better to do. Partners in crime, slowly killing ourselves, slowly killing each other.

You reminded me about the promise I made the night i was gonna jump and let my problems fly away,
I swore I'd never try that again and I told you tonight that I've been known to break everything I swear to keep,
Like your heart
I promised to keep it whole and we both walked away incomplete.
I don't know why it is but commitment scares me.
That's why I fail suicide and that's why I still question my life
And I push away people who care about me because god knows love is just as scary as committing to living.

Quarter moons

Won’t ever be the same

Since the night we kissed

Under the moonlight rays.

It’s no longer just a half moon phase

It’s half of my heart that I gave away.

When I tried to bring my thumbs to type to you
They trembled and ******
Because even my own hands knew better than to try to reach you again.

The blade broke against my skin
Because the only thing stronger than my heart
Is my flesh.

Taste the cigarette on my breath and feel the way it's destroying my lungs slowly
Just like you do every time you look at me,
I forget how to breathe,
And between the two of you
I'll be dead soon.

-But why did I think
that carving your name into my thigh
would make you love me,
like it was some kind of sick ritual I could do to make you come back?

I never heard her say your name but I felt it in between each line she said. I could feel it in the quivering of her voice how much she missed you and needed you back. A mother should never have to bury her son.

We are the sun,
And we are the moon.
We rise for each other and sink back down too.
Together we're needed to make life move.
You need me,
And I need you.
You hide me in the dark when I need a break from day, and I lighten up when you need saved from night.
We light paths and save from the night.
Without darkness, there'd be no light.

I lost a part of myself when I let you in. You took me over slowly and then all at once, the way waves do in a storm. It all starts calm. It's truly beautiful in the beginning, but the damage after the tempest is often left not completely repairable for years. They say time heals all wounds, but maybe all time does it help us forget how broken we really are.

Just one touch,
come on
dont be scared.
Look me in the eyes,
tell me you'll be there.
send a shock through my body,
Run your fingers through my hair.
Melt my heart
with your laugh
and set fire to my cheeks
With you lips.
I don't need much,
But just a little touch from you.

Speed up my heart and stare into my soul
I'll show you all my deepest secrets
And you'll make me your fool.

When it's 3 in the morning
What haunts your mind?
what makes you weak and weep and whine?
Is it thoughts of me that break your heart?
Is it thoughts of us that tear you apart?
What makes you cry?
What hurts you inside?
What makes you flood and fear and hide?

Mom,
Come home quick.
I'm feeling suicidal
and i don't know if i can stop this.
I need you here.
Help me please.
I'm drowning here.
Breathe into me.
sometimes i slip, i cut and bleed.
Hold me close,
Hide the knives,
I've got deadly thoughts running through my mind...

I will not be afraid of you anymore.
I will not be intimidated by you.
You will not cause me to be paranoid.
I will not search for you.
You will not seek my attention any longer.
You will not inject my mind with terrible thoughts.
I will forever forget about you.

slice, slice, slice.
I'm slicing down my legs.
shine, shine, shine.
I see the metal shining blade.
blood, blood, blood.
Blood's rushing down my legs.
pain, pain, pain.
I just gained some more self hate.

When i'm depressed,
I feel like I'm home.
It's when I'm happy that I feel I don't belong.
Something just doesn't feel right when I'm not living my life in fright.

Without you,
What am I?
What do I have?
A broken heart,
A withered away soul,
A fake smile,
A deadly mind,
A pain drenched little girl.
I am nothing.

Stalwart was he,
Lackluster he wasn't.

He was acephalous,
Never minded rules.

My Uncle was optimum of most women,
He philandered with many, but we still loved him.

Now that he is gone,
all we have left is recollection of the past,
and dreams of things we didn't have the chance to do.

We're stuck in a melancholy mood, that nothing can help us escape.

My people have disobeyed me,
Have invaded my heart,
and torn it apart,
from thee inside out.
They haunt me in my mind,
cause me to commit deadly dangerous crimes
I feel them lurking behind every dark corner,
watching me like I'm their prey as I walk by.

Darken my eyes
and tear my heart out.
That last goodbye was the hardest.
Since then i've walked a thousand miles,
Looking,
Searching,
For another lover,
One better than you.

My Eyes purple,
Wrists red,
I'm here alone,
and dead.

You are
My anchor to this Earth,
Holder of my Heart,
Protector of my Soul,
Apple of my Eye,
Starlight in the Night.
You are
The Love of my Life.

Your love,
A fierce tornado,
Tearing hearts apart.
Each day I fear,
fear for my heart to be demolished
by your raging love.
Only you have the power to cause me so much
anguish and agony
but continue to keep me
fascinated on your
painful, addicting sweet affection.

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me-
Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.


~Edgar Allan Poe

Life is a video game,
or so it seems.
It's difficult, hard to beat.
Just don't give up right away,
Beat the game.
But always remember,
Once the game has been beat,
You're dead.
Never to come back alive.
It's done there, nothing left after.
So enjoy the game while you're playing,
Make it last a while.
Don't pass up a level,
Don't cheat the game,
Take your time.

#YOLO , lol. Just kidding, that's annoying.

Rain come down on me,
Wash away all the memories,
Wash away all the mean names that have been stuck on me.

Rain come down on me,
Make the sadness go away,
Make all my fears fade to grey.

Rain come down on me and wash this life away.

They said to us,
You know not love,
For you are to young to know anything at all.
Your feelings are nothing but an illusion.
What you think is real is only just a dream.

They said to us,
You know not sadness,
For you are too young to be sad,
You have not a reason to feel anything.

They said to us,
No, you are not right,
For you are just a child,
Your opinions mean nothing to me.

Well we said to them,
We may not be adults,
But we are human,
We feel all the same feelings.
Our opinions mean just as much as yours do.
For we have a mind of our own,
Just like you do to.

SlenderMan is a jellyfish.
Deliberately dangerous
and deadly.
Waiting
to
attack
the next victim
it sees.
Once attacked
you won't be able to
forget it.
The scars
will
remind you
for life,
if
you live
through it.
The arms are
long
and lengthy.
Its body has
no
face.
The way their presence
made you feel will never
leave your memory.

Lets stop pretending,
Lets be real,
This isn't how we should feel.
We both said forever,
Wasn't that the deal?
Dear, Why are we just sitting here?

Lets work it out,
We can make it better.

Mistakes have been made,
Words said will not fade.

Did you really mean it when you said you still care?
I haven't seen you shed a tear.

Razor blade lullaby,
Come kiss my pain Good-Bye,
You're my only friend on this cold dark night.

Razor blade lullaby,
I listen to you when I can't sleep at night,
You take away all my fright.

Razor blade lullaby,
I always keep you by my side,
Just incase I start to feel like suicide.

Razor blade lullaby,
Darken those thoughs I think inside,
Numb the pain that I can't hide.

If you'd ever die before me,
I don't know what I'd do.
I'd have to start my life over,
Everything would be new.
You've always been there for me,
When I'm down and blue.
I haven't always been the best friend,
But I hope you know I'll always be there for you,
I love you.

Take my hand,
I can be your escape,
From this ugly word of pain,
And hate,
I'll take you far,
Far away from here,
To a world that's no where near,
Somewhere no one can find us and there's no cares.
Just take my hand,
I can show you there.

Music is Food,
It feeds your soul.

Music is the Sun,
It enlightens your day.

Music is Alcohol,
It numbs your pain.

Music is a harm-less Drug,
It gives you a high.

Music is a Companion,
It'll never leave your side.

Music is water,
You need it to live.