ronnie Nov 14

I swear to god he was perfect.

I saw him across the room
coffee stains on his white button up shirt
his curly hair messy, falling over his face the tiniest bit
his overly sized glasses sort of crooked on his face
there he was
he didn't know how silly he looked
but it was the best kind of silly
the silly I wanted to see everyday
He looked like an angel


He was perfect.

ronnie Oct 29

I saw you. I saw you in a different light this time. You were so beautiful. Your eyes, your lips, your hands, your hair, your gentleness... around me. I wanted to be near you all the time and I couldn't breathe if you weren't. You opened something in my eyes that I haven't seen before, you were the light and I was standing right there in your shadow. I had to understand that who you were could not help me because I am not beautiful. my eyes, my lips, my hands my hair and my gentleness could never be anything like yours. I had to look at myself and understand that we just simply could not be. I just wanted you to consume my head, my lungs my whole entire body to get rid of this self -hatred and loathing I have for myself. But then you would see. That I am just here, and you will always be over there. And I have to be alone..... To be free.

ronnie Oct 1

My heart speaks to you in languages you cannot understand yet.

You can only hear it beating....
ronnie Sep 7

She would tell me how she felt on certain days.
Some days she wouldn't, but I knew when I looked at the colour of her nail polish.
When her fingernails were yellow I knew she was doing okay.
She would tell me she felt warm instead of cold like on most days.
When her fingernails had clear sparkles on them, I knew she was
excited.
She told me she couldn't wait to finish her book.
I tried to understand her.
But this was the only way I could.
I saw her again but this time she didn't speak.
her fingers were in her jacket.
She looked straight ahead and never turned her head once to me.
We sat for hours until she got up, and took her hands out of her pockets.
She told me she wanted to die.


Her fingernails were blue.

ronnie Jun 23

we were running
we were running so fast until our knees became very weak
your hand was in mine
sweaty
we came to a stop
and looked at what was in front of us
what is it? I said
you kept staring and you said it's fresh air
but it was more than that
it was dreams
it was fear
it was life
we unlocked the cuffs around our wrists
and we kept staring

and i knew

it was freedom

ronnie May 1
?

how could you break me
but put me back together again
at the same time?

ronnie Apr 27

i was standing over hills
i was standing over mountains
i was so high that
nothing felt real anymore
i was finally free i thought
and then i looked beside me
and there you were
making me feel as small as possible
not letting me have-
please just give me


freedom

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