I have something growing
Inside of me.
Rooted in my belly,
Upwards flowing.

A **** conquering all,
It clogs and chokes,
Thick, broad, and strong like oaks,
While tending flaws.

I saw stardust in your hands
As you slipped away
Smiling to yourself
Moving beyond earthly things.

I think the rage is gone now.
I feel clean
Like fresh laundry.

My moody storms are over.
I'm still now
As a mountain.

The tears have completely dried.
I am wind
Blowing through sand.

I sit in an oasis
Waiting for
The next big storm.

I looked outside and
The sky was on fire.
Not a vague omen,
But a promise

Of what is, what was
And what is to come.

I looked inside and
My soul was a pyre.
Not a funeral,
But sacrifice

Of what is, what was
And what is to come.

Comes a time
When everyone gets tired.
Same old things
Same old repetitions.

Comes a time
When patience runs right out.
No more smiles
No more waiting around.

Comes a time
When I realize some things.
What I want
And who I want to be.

A nor'easter is building
Inside of me.
It howls with rage,
With loneliness, with boredom.

Each day it's getting stronger;
Harsh winds whipping,
Sea waves crashing.
It wants to go home. Let it.

I hardly think of you now;
It's incredible.
I lived and breathed you,
Swallowed your words like chocolate,
But now you're just a small stain
Hidden in the folds
Of some old bed sheets
I never use anymore.

Sometimes I still think about
Running away; tropical
Shores or breathtaking mountains.

I wouldn't even mind not
Seeing the sun again if
Your shadow was blocking it.

As I drove closer
I could feel the pulse
Move through my body.

My heartbeat fluttered
Knowing it was near;
Family, friends, home.

I want to rip my skin off
               And crawl into someone else's.

I see you staring at me
The clear statement in your eyes:
"You're sick, you're sick"
Words unsaid, but deeply meant.

And then the winning question:
"Have you taken your pills yet?"
Suspended there
Like you have the right to ask.

As if that is the reason
We keep having these issues,
These creeping doubts,
In our claustrophobic lives.

Because I've taken my pills.
Swallowed them like tasty sweets
Always hoping
That they'd get caught in my throat.

No, it isn't the issue,
They always do their duty.
It's time to face
That we are the **** problem.

Roses always look beautiful
When the frost comes.
Always look poised
And fragile encased in the crystal.

But soon enough
The cold seeps in,
Blackening and withering them
Until they die.

I tell my stories and secrets
To the empty rooms
You left behind.

I still remember
That February night.
Tears froze before they
Had even reached my eyes.

The wooden dock swayed
Underneath us and yet
I remained steady
Grasping on to your coat.

You showed me the stars
But I only focused
On your eyes, your scent,
And the way you held me.

I still remember
Holding on to your cold
Dog tags, pretending
That I could make you stay.

Wind caught her hair
Driving the car full speed ahead
Windows all down
As the landscape twisted and dipped.

The sun blazed hot
Killing flowers, insects, and things
By the roadside.
So much death but no one noticed.

Too occupied
With their individual lives
They soaked up warmth
And paid no mind to smaller things.

i think....
     um i think...
i think that women sometimes...
are...You know...trapped...

maybe because of...
         the words we speak,
the way we frame language,
our...pauses...

or perhaps, it's our, like,
          little inflections?
or the way we give
You respect.

but just because
          we do this
doesn't mean that we don't
have strong opinions.

it doesn't indicate
          that we're dumb
or don't respect ourselves.
it means "this is the way we talk"

and that's all.

When I go to bed
My body automatically
Makes room to fit yours.

When I hold my breath,
I almost feel your lips press mine
But they're only ghosts.

I look in the mirror
And all I see now are
Black holes threatening to
Swallow my red-rimmed eyes.

I never moved with grace
But my body tremors
More than it ever did,
Thinking of unseen fears.

I reach with my fingers
Towards my old reflection
To discover the tips
Are now cracked and bleeding.

Hollow shell, hollow shell.
I am losing myself.
Every step that I take
Destroys my sanity.

Today I wanted
         To get high off of you;
         But I guess I wasn't
The drug you needed.

Let me fly


                              Quick cut the rope tying us together
                           And I soar on the wind's wings.
                       You can't feel my heaviness
                   Up, higher and higher until
               My sails until I start to lift
           Let the breeze creep under
       On the ground as you go.
    Trailing me behind
Sprint ahead

I think I'm getting better
              But then one single
                                          Blow
Sends me spiraling back

It starts, at first,
Like a small itch
That's easy to
Simply ignore.

But soon begins
To cause me pain;
Persistent and
Burning my skin.

Isolated
In the start, the
Sharp, searing fire
Licks my body,

Then quickly spreads
Across my hills
And deep valleys.
Untamed wildfire.

I can't put it out,
With indifference,
Desolate and
Cruelly chilly.

For my passion
Fuels the flames of
Pictured despair
So real to me.

Like the sun bursting from beneath the clouds
Or stars exploding in space, I feel light
And energy from all the particles
Of the universe. The salt of the sea,
Dirt underneath my feet, dust on the wind,
The exhausted breath of my ancestors.
It has all been concentrated in me,
In this moment, so that I can capture
Greatness in the palms of my two small hands.
I can see supernovas in my mind,
Both lovely and melancholy at once.
So I transfer this to ink and paper;
Productivity banishing sadness.
I don't want this feeling to ever end.

Finally.
I can hear birds chirping in the trees.
At long last.
The sun is starting to hear my pleas.

I almost forgot...
The way your eyes light up when:
You're looking at me,
You find something amusing,
You hug me tightly,
You talk about the future,
You say "I love you."

I almost forgot...
How my heart starts pounding when
I open the door
And see you standing there,
Waiting to hug me,
Handsomely smiling at me,
Saying "I love you."

I've been walking, as of late,
In a twilight realm filled with
Dancing fairies and cruel fate.
They all told me it was myth.

But I've found it on my own;
A world that doesn't conform
To a cage made of white bone
And creates a whole new norm.

To you it might seem that I'm
Just wandering aimlessly,
Wasting the passage of time,
I did once, so famously.

However this is not true,
I love spending time under
Skies made of sapphire blue,
Topaz, and other plunder.

In this world I see so much;
I feel so alive, vital.
And here, everything I touch
Livens, becomes bountiful.

I want to stay forever
In this forest of sweet dreams
And lovely hope.  However,
Soon I must awake to screams.

I look inside and I see
Shards of glass buried deep
Slick and sharp, slicing me
When I breathe.

I can deal with pain that's
Forceful, full of feeling
But I don't do well with
Emptiness.

And having grown numb to
The razor blades within
The dark depths of my poor
Wounded soul,

I stabbed myself to rid
consuming vacancy.
But I failed to realize
It'd **** me.

We are the static on TV,
Wind howling through pipes,
Ice on the river,
Thick branches cracking.

We are the cold ocean at night,
Tightness in your chest,
Hail hitting the roof,
The empty silence.

"What happened to the other girl?"
I have become We.
"But where is she now?"
Still here; We are Her.