This is the 7th piece I wrote in the Anxiety collaboration. This piece was the chosen one, until I wrote another piece. If you have read all 6 poems in this series, you will see a progression from dark to not so dark. Each piece has emotion, lots of it. I have to admit that this one was the hardest to write, as the emotion hit me very hard. I was mentally spent after writing and editing this (although there was very little editing to be done). As I was in my 'writing state of mind', I cried. Yes, dear reader, some poetry does that to me. I was overwhelmed by emotion. I have not yet figured out if the tears were borne from the poem, or if the words flowed out as a reaction to where my head was at. Maybe it just doesn't matter.

This poem is the 2nd last one in this series. I hope you enjoy it. I hope you, in some little way, took a journey with me. Maybe my words have revealed something in us that we don't want people to see. Maybe you just simply can't relate to any of it. And there is always the risk that you laugh at me and my words. This is all fine. I have grown. I have learned. Smiled and cried, I've run the gamut of emotion in this series of poetry. Please enjoy.

Rod E. Kok
April 2014

This is my first poem for OctPoWriMo. The word prompts are: chrysalis, butterfly, transformation.

This is the 4th piece I wrote for the Anxiety collaboration. It is the darkest of them all. This one shows the progression, or rather, the regression of my mindset as I wrote. My mindset was dark, darker and darkest, and then went back up. I believe the poems I wrote reflect that. If you've read the previous two pieces I wrote for the collaboration, I think you will see it as well.

After I wrote this piece, I knew right away that it would not make the cut. It never had a chance to be the final submission to the artist. But I kept it, as it is part of the journey. If I recall correctly, it was this piece that convinced me I did not want to go really dark for my final piece. And so, this poem taught me a lot...about myself, about my poetry, and about what I wanted to contribute to Nicky's collaboration set.

Once again I urge you to not read too much into the words in relation to myself. I do not feel the emotion as written. But please do read the words knowing that somewhere, somebody feels this. The emotion is real. Maybe we can't relate. But that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Rod E. Kok
March 2014

Happy Saturday, dear reader. Today is the 25th day of #OctPoWriMo, and the prompt is 'magic'. I used this opportunity to tell of a life event, a magical event. For the readers who have seen the purple city (and I suspect there are few), it will evoke images of a wonderful setting. For everyone else, do a google search for 'edmonton purple city' and follow the gigcity link to understand what I am referring to. I hope you enjoy this poem, and maybe you'll be inspired to find your own purple city, and create memories that last a lifetime.

Rod E. Kok
October 25, 2014

Hello dear reader, today's prompt for #OctPoWriMo is 'once upon a time' and 'happily ever after'. That's right, we are delving into the world of fairytales. Nothing about my work in the past has indicated fairytales, but I really stepped outside my comfort zone on this one. I think this one is fun, whimsical, and downright playful. And it rhymes. Go figure.

Rod E. Kok
October 16, 2014

Today, dear reader, we got to play with a magnetic poetry board. I used an online one, and came up with the poem for the day. There was no theme, just let let words take you where they may. Please enjoy.

Rod E. Kok
October 17, 2014

I wrote this one quite a while ago, and it got lost in the myriad of unpublished completed works. It's not a happy piece. I am guessing I was not in a good place when I wrote it.

Dear reader, today's prompt for #OctPoWriMo is about children, and creating a safer world for them. I have not completely followed the prompt, but rather I've looked at an unjust world through someone else's eyes. Through the eyes of a child. Please enjoy.

Rod E. Kok
October 11, 2014

My prompts for today were the words sweet, chocolate, indulgence and sugar. I struggled with this, but as I sit on my couch with the Coffitivity app playing in my headphones, it came to me. I hope you enjoy it.

My second poem for #OctPoWriMo

Here is the 5th poem I wrote for the Anxiety / Release collaboration. It is dark, but I don't feel it as dark as #4. There are some really cool ideas in this piece, and I remember being fairly happy with it. The only thing I don't like is that it seems to end very abruptly. But it is finished...I have nothing more to offer this particular piece.

Rod E. Kok
March 2014

Dear reader, the 18th prompt of #OctPoWriMo is 'found' or 'blackout' poetry. We were asked to take the page from a book, and black out all the words that don't belong in the poem we want to write. I chose the book Lion of Ireland by Morgan Llewellan, and my wife chose page 350. And so, I took a picture of the page (I wasn't about to color in one of my favorite books) and armed with Photoshop, I created, or found, a poem. Please enjoy.

Rod E. Kok
October 18, 2014

For today's prompt, we were given a bunch of quotes from different writers / poets / famous people. I chose a line from Leonardo da Vinci. There is so much more I could have written in this piece, but I chose to keep it simple. Please enjoy.

Rod E. Kok
October 14, 2014

“Painting is poetry that is seen rather than felt, and poetry is painting that is felt rather than seen.”
― Leonardo da Vinci

It is very sad that I am unable to post pictures to accompany my poem. To see the picture that really enforces this piece, please visit my website www.rodkok.ca and read Hands and Feet

Hello dear reader. Today's prompt for #OctPoWriMo was to write about the moon, and how it affects us. I didn't use any of the word prompts, but the one 'feeling' prompt I used was based on the word nostalgic. Also, this poem marks the first time in this challenge that I have strayed away from FreeVerse poetry. Today's work is an acrostic. Thus, the name of the poem is Moonscapes, and the first letter of every line forms that word. Please enjoy.

Rod E. Kok
October 8, 2014

Hello once again, dear reader. The prompt for day 27 of #OctPoWriMo is sleep. We were given some key words to work with. I was curious as to where this prompt would take me, and the result is quite unexpected. I decided that I did not want to write in my normal form, which is free-verse. I have stepped outside my comfort zone a couple times this month, and have enjoyed every minute of it. Discovering new ways of exercising my brain and honing my craft is exciting and refreshing. I did write an acrostic poem and have a nonet as a WIP, but neither of these will get published for now.

Today, I went with a cinquain. You can read about this particular form here.  In short, it is a 22 syllable poem, non-rhyming, with the syllables per line being 2, 4, 6, 8, 2.  I don't know if I strictly adhered to all the rules, but there are different schools of thought about the cinquain, different ways to do it. I did stay with the syllable count, as that seems to be the most important. I hope you enjoy this poem. It is very much in line with what I posted on day 26. The prompt naturally led me here.

Rod E. Kok
October 27, 2014

This is the 6th piece I wrote for the Anxiety / Release collaboration. When I wrote this, I thought it had a very strong chance at being my submission. I personally think this was the most powerful piece I wrote up to this point for the collaboration. I was (and am) very pleased with some of the imagery I came up with. I think my favorite line is 'You're not helping'. That line says so much to me, I still get shivers when I read it.

I hope you are enjoying this journey through darkness with me, as I guide you down a path of poems that are focused on Anxiety. I have received very little feedback (which is fine), so I am not sure how this series is being looked at. Nevertheless, dear reader, please read the work, even if you don't want to interact with me on it. Please understand the sweat, the tears and the raw emotion that is plugged into each piece. It truly is exhausting. As always, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to read my work.

Rod E. Kok
April 2014

Day 28, dear reader. Day 28. I never would have thought to make it this far into #OctPoWriMo, but I have surprised even myself. And what is more surprising is that I am enjoying the art of 'thinking outside the box'. I have tried a couple different forms, and tried a couple different approaches. It has been enlightening, and a growing experience.

So, what does today bring us? I have written a double etheree. An etheree is a 10 line poem that consists of 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 syllables. A double etheree is the same, except the order of lines/syllables is reversed in the second verse.

Today's poem shows two sides of me, both of which very much are real. At times during #OctPoWriMo, I have felt both sides. Thanks to those who have encouraged me *cough Jessica Scott cough* to keep going. The theme we were given to work with was 'hunger' + a secondary 'feeling' word. I chose to use hunger not as relating to food, but rather in relation to my writing and my craft. I hope you enjoy today's offering.

Rod E. Kok
October 28, 2014

Day 19! I am finding it hard to believe that I have managed to 'stay alive' through the first 18 days of #OctPoWriMo. It is a real challenge to write a poem everyday, never mind to write something that others might enjoy. I am very overwhelmed with the positive feedback I have received, and for that I thank you all.

Today's prompt is rain, and we were given a list of words we should try incorporate into our work. Those words are melancholy, drizzle, damp, rainbow, cloudy, grass and somber. I actually wrote 3 poems for this, and wasn't really satisfied until the 12th edit of the 3rd poem. And so, I share with you today's poem, and sincerely hope that you all get to experience a Kiss in the Rain.

Rod E. Kok
October 19, 2014

This poem is the third one I wrote for the Anxiety / Release collaboration. Yes, the third. And no, there was not a second. The second attempt never got finished, and thus will never get posted.

This particular piece is not my favorite, and definitely not one of the stronger ones I wrote for the collaboration. I think it is fairly obvious why it did not make the cut. Yet I am posting it. Why? Well, I want to give you an idea as to what I went through as I contemplated, ruminated and struggled with as the process went on. This poem is dark, and I remember that I was in a fairly dense fog (mentally, not physically) as I wrote it. But I can't help but feel that there is something missing, something incomplete with this piece. I can't put my finger on it. I did edit this piece a bit long after the actual writing date, and it did make it better than the original.

Once again, I ask that, at the very least, you can appreciate what it takes to write this dark poetry. It is not just random words, it is a thought process that starts as a tiny idea, and with a heavy heart and foggy mind, that idea grows into something....scary.

Feedback is always welcome.

Good morning, dear reader. When I received the prompt for our October 24 poem, I was as un-inspired as I'd been in a while. I really had no idea where to go with it, and seriously considered avoiding it completely and posting an un-related piece. But, in the words of a new acquaintance and fellow poet, inspiration is fickle but is rarely unfaithful.

The prompt we were given was based on 4 different reality TV shows. I freely admit that I don't watch any of them. So, rather than being inspired by the actual shows themselves (the letter of the prompt), I created my poem from the premise of the shows (the spirit of the prompt). Our prompt TV shows are 'So You Think You Can Dance', 'Project Runway', 'FaceOff', and 'Ink Master'. I have never heard of 2 out of the 4. Our prompt words are 'Make-up', 'Tattoo', 'Dance', and 'Fashion'.

In the end, I was inspired. I hope you enjoy this poem.

Rod E. Kok
October 24, 2014

This poem is not targeted at anyone in particular, but rather it was born from pent up frustration at the way my craft and my passion for poetry is perceived. You may not like poetry, and I appreciate that. It is not a genre for everybody. You may not understand the words I write, or relate to the things I write about. That's cool. Not everybody gets it. You may not like me, and I appreciate that too.

Read the poem. I will take the knife out, and carry on. And maybe someday my words will mean something to you, and you will understand.

Rod E. Kok
May, 2014

This poem was my very first attempt at writing for the Anxiety / Release Collaboration I was invited to participate in by Nicky Mortlock (@ArtiPeeps on Twitter).  What is this collaboration about? Well, Nicky has invited 4 poets and 4 artists to work on this. A poet will get matched up with an artist, making 4 pairs. The poet will write a piece on Anxiety, and the artist will have an opportunity to interpret the words into art. As far as I know, the 4 poems and corresponding art pieces will be on display at some point in England.

As I wrote my way through the theme of 'Anxiety', I really found myself getting dark. My first couple pieces were very dark, and gradually they became a lighter shade of grey. It has been an extremely interesting and enlightening process. The writing, the communication with the artist, exploring anxiety and learning about it. I have grown a lot as a writer, and have learned to write about some emotions that I've never really penned about.

And so, dear reader, the piece that follows is the first attempt. Do not be afraid for me. I live in a world of fog at times, but never have I experienced what I have written. The emotion is born from research, the words have been nurtured with creativity and passion. Yes, the pieces I have written for this collaboration have affected me deeply. That's what writing does to me.

I hope you enjoy this first piece. And if you don't, I understand completely. But all I ask, at the very least, is to appreciate the effort, the research, the creativity and the passion that goes into this piece, and every other poem I have ever written.

Rod E. Kok
March 2014

Dear reader, day 26 of #OctPoWriMo has us confronting our fears, writing about what scares us. There are many things I fear. I fear rejection by my peers, by the poetic community, by friends. I fear things that I simply will not share with anyone but my wife, I fear stubbing my toes (a curse of big feet). I have serious fears, debilitating fears and silly fears. And it is the silly fear that I am writing about today.

Once in a while, my wife and kids will go to spend a few days with her parents, and I am left alone at home. I hate it. I hate every moment of an empty house. I especially hate the nights. Will you laugh at this piece, or rather, laugh at me for this piece? Possibly. I don't fear that, for I am writing this in the light. And my wife and kids are by my side. Please enjoy.

Rod E. Kok
October 26, 2014

Day 9 of #OctPoWriMo brought a prompt that really made me think. For today I was challenged to write about why I write. Why do I continue creating poetry (or short stories, or any sort of writing). Why? Read the poem. It answers the question. Please enjoy.

Rod E. Kok
October 9, 2014

Dear reader, it is a bittersweet day. Today marks the end of #OctPoWriMo.  I can honestly say that I am a bit sad about this. Every day for the past 31 days, I have written a poem based on a prompt from one of our wonderful organizers. Every day I have pushed myself. Somedays it came easy, some days I struggled mightily. But, I did it. And I am proud of it. I probably wrote close to 40 poems in the past 31 days. Knowing what I have done serves as motivation for what I need to do...I need to write. It's in my blood.

Thank you to the organizers and prompters for taking us on this fantastic journey of poetry. Julie, Morgan, Amy and Tamara...thank you. If I missed one someone, I apologize and offer you a special thank you as well.

Thank you to all the poets who contributed their poetry. Reading your work gave me so much inspiration. I have made new friends, and for that I am grateful. Also thank you to all those who read my work. I am humbled that little ol' me could write something that so many enjoyed. I hope our journey together doesn't end here.

And that, dear reader, brings us to my final poem of #OctPoWriMo2014. As the tears fall from my eyes, and as my heart beats a little bit faster, let me say that it is finished.

Rod E. Kok
October 31, 2014

Good morning, dear reader. The prompt for day 29 of #OctPoWriMo is love and relationships. We were given a pretty broad field to play in, and I chose the one that comes naturally to me. My poem today is for my dear wife, my best friend. The line in this poem that is my favorite is 'If not for you, there is no me'.  What is your favorite?

Rod E. Kok
October 29, 2014

This poem is written as a description of something that it isn't. Make sense? Enjoy the poem.

This is the poem I wrote as a warm up for #NaPoWriMo. Over the next month or so, I hope to post all of them.

Here's is today's challenge for #OctPoWriMo: Write a poem influenced by your feelings about autumn. Do you see autumn as a beginning or the beginning of the end? Chose at least three from this list of words below.
The words: chill, renewal, death, rebirth, harvest, melancholy, aging, change
I hope you enjoy today's offering.

Rod E. Kok
October 5, 2014

Hello dear reader. Today, I decided to go in a different direction than I've ever gone. I am branching out, and trying a new poetry form. It is called a poetry blitz. The blitz is meant to be read quickly, leaving yourself only time to breathe. As I read more of these over the course of #OctPoWriMo, I have found that I really enjoyed them. That was my motivation to try. I did try to include some of the word prompts / feeling prompts we were given.

Rod E. Kok
October 22, 2014

'Off My Feet' is the 8th attempt on the given theme, and in my humble opinion, it is the strongest. I believe that the words are the culmination of the previous 7 attempts. Out of all the poems and words I wrote for this collaboration, this one is the most personal. I can honestly say that there are many things in this piece that reflect me. Maybe you didn't know that about me. Maybe you can't see which parts I am referring to. Do you see me as confident, as being able to stand against the wind? Yes dear reader, this poem is deeply reflective.

It took 7 attempts to come up with what I wanted to present to the world. It took 7 attempts to write about me. Although the previous pieces have elements of myself, none so much as this one is like looking in the mirror.

This is another poem that reduced me to tears. The weight of emotion and self-reflection was simply unbearable at that particular moment. I know that a good number of you will not be able to understand this, and I am very cognizant of that. But I needed to reveal this...it is the first time I have bared myself in this manner.

Please, dear reader...don't judge me. If you don't get it, read the Anxiety series of poems (and the introductions) and try to understand. At the very least (and this I have asked before), please try to appreciate the words. Appreciate the emotional journey the poems take you on, acknowledge the power and passion of the message that I am trying to convey, and please be sensitive to the fact that people we know exist in the world I have written.

As always, dear reader, I encourage interaction. I love feedback, positive or negative. I am deeply grateful for the time you have taken to read my work, and I encourage you to read this series of poems (starting with ''Thanks for the Ride'') and ending in this piece.

Today's poem for #OctPoWriMo is a very emotional one. Initially I wasn't going to go this direction with the prompts, but it came to me very suddenly. So I wrote. And quite possibly, I even shed a tear while writing. For those of you who know me, you know of the loss my wife and I suffered almost 15 years ago. Today's poem, guided by the prompts of perfection and imperfection, speaks to that loss.
Please enjoy.

Rod E. Kok
October 6, 2014

Hello dear reader. This poem is the first one I've put on my website since #OctPoWriMo ended. I have written a couple poems, but I am saving them for the book I am planning to put out in the near future. I wrote this poem fairly quickly, as it seemed to flow into what you'll read below. It in no way reflects my state of mind at this present time, although I draw on experience to convey the message. I hope you enjoy my first offering of this month.

Rod E. Kok
November 13, 2014

Originally published on my website for OctPoWriMo, this was my day 1 entry.