There is always a worst form struggle.
No matter, how great, is our own.
It's not that the worst is one permanent.
It's in a moment, when a worse is fully grown.

It's found, in the eb and flow of our solitude.
If our worst, reigns, supreme.
Solitary in room or in thought,
Do we ascend, to that horrific being.

Honor those horror filled instances,
With memories, never to be lost.
And in our hearts, forever lend grace,
When our turn, it currently, is not.

If I were a shooting star,
Which would I be?

The shot aiming,
For some place new.

Or the flame engulfed body,
Hurling to the ground to be subdued...

Would I be the speck of mass,
That burns before reaching a home?

Or would be a greatest wish,
The your hope had long ago sewn,..

If I were a shooting star.
What would you see?

20 years ago I recall...
When time actually stopped.
And for a moment,
I was alone with myself.

My mind,
My body,
My heart and my soul,
Put all desires, high on a shelf.

Little blips of darkness,
Like flickering black holes,
Would sometimes...
Corrupt this peace.

But I slowly put thought,
Into who I really was.
Could I be a man...
Or just another meece.

It wasn't until,
I put foolish logic,
Onto what my life,
Was really created for.

That I sold out my moment,
Of time standing still...
And that sell out,
Made me, a *****.

I've been blessed once again,
With time put on ice.
Frozen...
Standing in place.

So many more cracks,
In the world that I live.
Than the last time...
I paused, in this space.

And in the cold reflections,
I see myself.
And I wonder,
Who that person, should really be.

Each step I take forward,
Shoots crackling splinters inside,
Like walking on a frozen lake...
With ice formed so thinly.

This time, this moment,
This universe put on pause.
With shooting stars,
Mid streak in the sky.

I'll walk under them,
And we'll talk of my sin.
Hang out with wishes...
Until I love what's inside.

I never really wanted control.
I simply sought to limit my exposure,
To the dangers that persist.

The people, situations,
The moments of life,
That believe peace...
Shouldn't ever, exist.

This never meant I wanted to be master,
One who holds...
All of the keys.

For the more keys in my pockets,
The more cumbersome,
Each step tends to be.

The only control I really sought after,
Was one over, only my own key.

To lock my door from all others,
Embracing isolation, who lets me be me.

But being myself to no one.
Is much like, the questions of old

Like, If no one witnesses a tree falling,
Did it truly whither, from being alone and cold...

I still have monsters...
I still bare so much sin.

And here we are now forever...
Me, myself, and I...
In a game, we shall never win.

So if life has proven me in one thing.
It is that never should I trust.

Which if you know this truth as well...
What's the answer, as it makes life...

A bust...

And here...
We...  
Are...  
Now...

All directions...  Is death on the cusp.

I wish I could be the one,
Written in the stories of old.
Who saw his fairest of maiden,
And collapsed, breath caught, in his soul.

Though Big Fish, I might have been,
Able to chase his sun across the world.
Poorly hooked, I did, let myself get,
And my weight began to swirl.

Until I lay beached,
And watch you drift away.
Gasping in desperation,
To try another day.

But I've looked upon my reflection,
From the little ripples that reach out to me.
The sun may be my longing,
But I must return, back into the sea.

And as the ripples pull at me,
Back to a place I can heal.
I thank this final sunset...
For reminding me, such love is real.

A day doesn't pass,
Where my thoughts aren't with you.
And I long, for the strength,
To hold the sun...

With the amount of trauma,
And amount I've suffered,
For as long as I've endured, these both.

I realized long ago,
This would be healing till I die.
And I'm scared, of how long I have to go.