i never knew what it was like to be heartbroken in love until i met you.
because i can call you mine, but when i say it the words feel empty...
you are mine.
the sweet nothings you whisper in my ear are starting to sound more like nothing than sweet,
and i don’t know how to tell you that i am no longer happy most of the time.
i have both my good, and my bad days;
but sometimes even the good days turn to bad,
and i know you can turn the bad days good again, but i don’t know how to ask.
maybe thats the problem.
maybe I’m just too afraid for love, too shy to be selfish enough to ask for all of your attention even though i know it is what i deserve.
how can i tell you that i am a growing hurricane?
Still developing, i am what scientists would call a tropical depression, but there is nothing tropical about this depression.
i am sad
and i don’t know how to ask for help.
i think when you told me you loved me, i misunderstood and heard “let me help you”;
so i said i love you back, but i really meant "i can’t breathe"...
and I’ve realized you can’t help me.
you can’t fix someone who doesn’t know why they’re broken
and maybe thats the problem
i spend too much time trying to find a solution, without focusing on what I’m trying to solve,
and its ruining me.
i know one day the storm in me will grow so loud it will flow out of me like soda from a shaken can,
and i don’t know how to be prepared~
all i can do now is wait.
wait for the damage,
wait for the day you realize I’m not good enough,
wait for the day you leave me,
tell me, it’s good for the both of us,
we just need to "grow apart."
how do i tell you that without your presence, i can’t tell the difference between up and down?
i don’t know what is right or wrong.
i don’t know how to grow without you.
you are all i have learned to know, learned to love.
how do i tell you that i love you without making it sound like an anchor?
digging deep in the trenches so you can’t leave me anymore.
how do i make sure that when i say it you hear me loud and clearly?
my words are stuck in a glass bottle,
swimming atop waves in furious ocean.
my only hope is that they wash up on your shore,
my only hope is that when you see them you start to miss me again,
the way i’ve been missing you since the day we parted.
I wrote this a few months after we started dating and everything i thought would happen eventually did. Also this sounds a lot better when I read it out loud.