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Jan 2015 · 487
I Hate It
Rizza Jan 2015
Everything seems fine
When we first came to be
I'd smile at you
You'd smile at me

Then things got better
when we both confessed
You'd smile at me
And I'd smile at you

I often find myself
muttering the words
I love you
when I think of you

But I can't tell you now
because things changed
I'd smile at you
But you don't even
look at me anymore
I love you
But you can never love me
And I hate it
Dec 2014 · 595
We, Us
Rizza Dec 2014
I think about you
More often than I should
I think about us
To stop, I wish I would

I want to  go see you
And I will if I could
I will give you everything
Yes, I would

I have doubts
And your actions confirm
What has been on my mind
For a while

There is only Me
And no Us nor We
Dec 2014 · 801
Difference In Me
Rizza Dec 2014
Everything is new to me,
Although deep inside, I feel
That I have always been like this
And you showed me
How to see the best in me

These discoveries may be simple,
But these are what I have
Always been searching for.
'Believe in yourself'
Is what I was taught by you.

You are the difference in me.

So I will use my newly-found
Courage, and ask you to stay,
For I cannot let you go,
The difference in me
Dec 2014 · 538
Moment of Panic
Rizza Dec 2014
EMERGENCY
We proceed with urgency

The stomach ache,
was too much to take

Awful is what we all feel,
Hoping quickly you will heal

Waiting anxiously,
we hope you return timely

Waiting through the night,
hoping you are alright.
My brother was taken to the hospital merely minutes ago and I am worried so I wrote a poem to express my anxiety, I hope he is fine
Rizza Dec 2014
Things may not happen as you want them,
It is quite painful and heartbreaking.
I held out so much hope
But things still ended quite badly.
I expected so much but it all went down.

I could feel my eyes well up with tears,
The pain in my heart manifested itself,
I have gone lightheaded,
I could feel my heart breaking,
it hurts and I just want it to stop

I have felt this many times before
Why is it much painful than I remembered?
I would often ask myself,
Of the things I have been wrong about.

Was it something I said?
Was it something I did or did not do?
Was it because of my appearance?
Was it because of me?

Then I thought that maybe,
Just maybe, it's not meant to be.

I could only just let things go,
And just move on,
Let time heal my heart..

For now, I'll just cry these tears
and hope for the best.
Dec 2014 · 454
Repeating History
Rizza Dec 2014
I love what we have,
It's like a new beginning.
Everything's new and fulfilling,
But I'm afraid it will all end sadly.

First, I fancied him, terribly.
I liked sitting beside him,
He laughs, I laugh.
I was young and foolish.
He liked me for the chance
Of being better at class.

Second, he was so charming,
And I fell for him,
he was a musician,
so I got my own guitar,
and asked him to teach me,
he said yes, but he never did.
His heart belonged to someone else.

Third, he was very intelligent,
He loved reading books and
he even gave me one of his.
I enjoyed his company, so
I wrote to him about what I feel,
But he never talked to me again.

Fourth, he was a great friend.
I just liked him so much.
We spend so much time together.
I was head over heels.
So I thought why not take a chance,
But he already knew how I feel.
He left and I never saw him again.

Now, I am just scared
About how our story will end.
I am afraid that this,
Is just a repetition of the past.
I'm terrified that you'll run,
when I tell you how honest I am.
I don't want to appear vulnerable,
I don't want you to take advantage.

But deep in my heart,
I willfully hope,
That you are different.
Nov 2014 · 389
Just One of the Many
Rizza Nov 2014
The thing about life is,
I'm just one of the many.
One of the many creations,
One of the many people,
One of the many girls,
One of the many
Who has fallen for you.

I am just one of the many,
So I strive to be different,
Hoping you'll notice me.
I am just one of the many.
Who am I to demand you
To look at me the way I do to you?

I should not even be doing this.
I should not be feeling this,
And yet I am.
I wish I could make it stop.
I am nothing compared to the many.

Maybe this is what you do,
Making everyone fall for you.
I have fallen into your trap,
And I can't blame you for it.

They say I am a fool and it's not real,
But you are the greatest thing
That has ever happened to me.

I wish things would change,
And you would choose me

So I will be **the one from the many
Nov 2014 · 461
Keeping It Silent
Rizza Nov 2014
Why am I always being blamed
For all the bad things that happened?
I am really devastated,
Although I may not show it
Doesn't mean I don't feel it,
I have plans
Though I don't share it,
Doesn't mean I don't have it
I am really anxious and worried
So please stop questioning me
I want to set everything straight,
I am working on it carefully
So don't put me in a hurry.
Nov 2014 · 1.2k
Wandering, Pointless
Rizza Nov 2014
I am scared
I feel I am walking
Endlessly
Round and round
In a circle
It feels like hell
And I am stuck

Someone controls me
Strings on the ends of my joints
Changing my movements
Keeping me down
Is it a guiding hand?
Am I being lead,
To where I should be?

Then I looked,
Repetitive burden
I want to leave
I will break free
It will be difficult
But it can never be worse
Than the hell I am in now
Oct 2014 · 457
I Want To Know
Rizza Oct 2014
This uncertainty
Is killing me,
And I have myself
To blame for it.

I cannot stop,
I think about you,
Constantly,
Throughout the day.

I am holding out hope,
That you might feel the same.
Although how am I to know
When I have not told you so?

What we have is special,
And I treasure it the most,
But I am scared that if I tell you,
Our friendship would end.

It has been days,
I picture your face.
I want to know,
Are you safe?

I do not want to lose you,
So please do not go.
You are important to me,
I'll never meet another like you.

If you are to go,
Please just say so,
Don't leave me hanging,
Still hoping.
Oct 2014 · 708
It's Been A Long Time
Rizza Oct 2014
I never really thought that
I would feel like this again.
Every time I think about you,
I get lost in the moment.
Butterflies in my stomach
My heartbeat quickens

It has been a long time
since I have felt this way,
And I was close to forgetting
How beautiful this is.

Now, every love song I hear
Makes me think about you,
Every pen and paper I hold
Makes me write a poem for you,
And every person I see
Makes me wish it was you.

I was close to giving up
On finding someone
To make me feel this way again
And then I met you.
Oct 2014 · 1.2k
I am afraid
Rizza Oct 2014
Of the things
Society expects me to do

Of who I want to be
and for those who contradict

I feel like crying
Because of the harsh words
I want to be the one
to decide for myself

I want to be free
I choose to be free
Oct 2014 · 3.6k
My Side
Rizza Oct 2014
Should  I say it
Or should I keep
my mouth shut?

Are you thinking of me
The way I do about you?

Should I give
you my heart
Or is it too much?

Am I moving too fast?
Are you even keeping up?

I like you
But I cannot
Get myself to say it

I think about you
Before I sleep
And after I wake up

I long to show
You my affection
But afraid you'll run

I have fallen for you
But are the two of us
On the same side?
Oct 2014 · 721
My Fervent Wish
Rizza Oct 2014
I wish to be with someone
Who will look at me
Like I am the brightest star
In the pitch black sky

Who will sit with me
And talk about anything
Smiling and laughing
Throughout the night
And until dawn

Who will embrace me warmly
Every time we meet
Hugging me tightly
Making me feel safe

Who will kiss me
As I greet him happily
In the morning
Feeling forever thankful
That I have him by my side

I wish to be with someone
Who will love me
ever so dearly
I will surrender everything I have
to have that *someone

**I wish that "someone" to be you
Oct 2014 · 652
Words
Rizza Oct 2014
I like you
Is what I want to say,
But the fear of rejection keeps me
From doing so.

I have been broken,
For saying what I feel
So many times before.
Excruciating pain--
I don't want to feel anymore,
I want to be numb,
But I still want to feel
The way I feel about you.

You are unlike others
I have met before.
You are the sunlight,
In the darkest of the day.

I know you may not
Feel the same.
And I know I might
get hurt in the end,
But I will risk it
just so you know
how I feel about you,
*I like you
Oct 2014 · 858
I am sick
Rizza Oct 2014
I am in pain,
From the people,
The work and the repetitive,
Tiring expectations
That direct what I should do

As you can see,
I am sick,
So I will remedy this,
With the ephemeral beauty of uncertainty
And eventually break free.

— The End —