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Wyatt 1d
I’m tired of giving up.

I can’t wait for the day
I can stop thinking of
these words to write.
They never bring good news.

Nobody is coming to save me,
I need to accept that.
I fear you and your friends because I gave you that power.
I mistaken my weakness
for your strength.
I need thicker skin,
I need to stop being naive.

All of my misfortunes
are in my head.
Every time I fail
I shake my fist
at the universe itself,
thinking that will
be a solution for me.
I’m just misplacing the blame.
It seems I never believed
in myself from the beginning.

One day I won’t
finish in last place,
but first I have to stop
ripping these pages
out of my story.
Wyatt Sep 27
I'm so far from the ceiling
and there are no pillars of support
but if I were a part of the building
then I would be the floor.
Everybody walks all over me,
just the same as before.
There are no skies for me to scrape,
nobody ever keeps the score.
Wyatt Sep 23
I feel it every day. I'm changing. I'm becoming more cynical. I'm getting more angry. My mouth opens but it's not me who is speaking. On a daily basis I have to live with myself. I walk by all of the people I've hurt. Maybe I'm running because I don't want anybody around me. Maybe I act like an idiot so nobody will love me. I feel myself slowly losing it, teetering on the edge of being acceptable. Maybe my hatred for myself manifests when I lash out at others. I wish somebody could see inside of me just so they could realize how tangled everything is in me. What I say and what I do are an embarrassment. I've lost what little credit I once had.
My current chapter, me in the present day. A detailed description of downfall.
Wyatt Aug 19
The day I was born
is soon approaching,
I don’t look forward to it.
It reminds me how much
none of them really know me.
Here we go again,
some more of them saying
“we should hang out soon”,
“let’s catch up on lost time”
and the instant classic
“I always thought you were cute”
but they all mean less
after the fact.
This isn’t my first rodeo,
let’s leave it at that.
I stopped listening
a couple years back
but I have to say that
it’s funny how they wait
for my birthday to tell me
what I always want to hear.
Whispering sweet nothings,
always trying to ****
a tear or two from me
but I don’t feel a thing anymore.

My birthday is just a day,
you’re the one who
placed more importance
so don’t get mad when
I don’t try to fake a grin
every time you
try to patronize me
when the 22nd
of this awful month
comes back around.

Maybe I’m bitter or jaded,
maybe secretly I’m hated,
but maybe I see you all
copy before you paste it.
Maybe I hate it,
not knowing how to act
when this date hits
because maybe
I don’t feel like
celebrating.

I know nobody likes a downer,
that’s why I decide to keep quiet
and reluctantly go along with
all of your traditional customs.
A birthday needs some cake,
but I’ve never liked cake.
A birthday needs some friends,
but we both know I’m a loner.
A birthday needs a toast,
but what can I say?

I’ll turn 22
on the 22nd, but
I won’t feel any different.
Wyatt Aug 18
As that home
is swallowed by embers,
I stand there beside myself.
Wyatt Aug 2
Is singing for a little happiness
such a wrong thing for me to do?
It seems like everywhere I turn
those aches in my chest grow,
I'm not compatible for this world.
The shadows envelop my eyes
and my groans are more audible,
all those tiny lights I once
used to reach for
have scattered in the wind.

Maybe it's how my eyes
pace around the room
or how my legs never still
that gives away who I am,
they all must know my stance.
I've been lost for a long time.
Where I am is strange,
so I must get ready again
to do this awful dance.

Take a look at me
not for what's on my face
and never for my history.
Do not read my name aloud,
just it's sound alone still stings.
Instead I'd rather hear
something of more substance.
Time and time again
my lips refuse to move,
but I'm looking for a way
to speak my heart
into existence.
Wyatt Jul 29
If I could change,
don't know if I would now.
All I know wiped clean,
so what would be left now?
Hated for who I am or who I was,
I never received enough love.
Instead of singing me a pretty song,
give me something that matters.
You weren't the cause of the effect,
but you were a few factors.

X my name
and close my eyes
if that was your game
this whole time.
Don't let me down easy,
be as blunt as it gets.
My soul's been stained red,
so my body's no better.
I'll carry it all.

I didn't know
your company
came with a cost
and I never knew
every moment
came with a loss.
Your heart is coated
with a layer of frost.
I've never felt more lost.
I gave out some trust,
you took it all
and spit it back in my face.

When I look at you differently
I hope you know why.
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