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 Sep 2015 reposession
Nicole Dawn
When I tried to tell someone how I felt
How I felt like a failure
How I didn't have a will to live
How I looked to the future,
And only saw pain

They said,
"You don't look that sad,
And anyway,
You're young.
You're probably exaggerating.
A young, healthy person,
Would not feel like that."

I know I don't look sad
I practice every day
So no one sees my pain

I know I am young
At least in years
But I have seen and felt
So much
In the short time I have been here

I know this.
But I am not okay.
I am not young.
And I am not healthy.

My heart, soul, and mind have aged
Far beyond my years

And I am not healthy
I have not eaten in days
3 or 4 I think
I did not sleep last night
And got less than an hour the two nights before
I slice my own skin open
To bleed the bad things out
And my mind has put me
On the verge of death
And taking my own life

Do you think that is healthy?

As for me being okay...
I think my tears and blood
Can speak for themselves
I hate that no one takes me seriously because I'm 'too young to know what pain is'
 Sep 2015 reposession
Diba
Yesterday my mother told me that I can stop hurting when I want to, but how do I tell her the real pain kicks in when all I think about is you coming back, and that I look at anything beautiful without thinking “wish you were here?”
2. I look for you everyday, in empty streets at 4 a.m, in book and songs, I look for you in everyone I meet. But they’re not you, and I can’t seem to find anyone that makes me feel the way you do. Maybe i loved you too much. Maybe you didn’t want this enough.
3. I still wait by the phone waiting for you to say “I know we ****** up, but I love you.” No one has ever made my heart hurt like you did. No one’s ever made me feel so in love either. Maybe i want you back, maybe you don’t.
4. I still have that dream where i come home with my heart in my hands while you’re looking at her, and i realize that you never wanted me to stay.
5. I miss you so much. I wish you still loved me. My heart’s been so heavy ever since you left. Please, come back home.
Why can't I cry?
I am numb -
Lost and confused and upset and diffused,
And I just want to cry
So I can at least hold on
To the sadness rolling down my cheeks,
Yet I can't.

Just let me cry,
Please.
~~ Emptiness is too frightening. ~~
I would open my mouth to the stars
And ask them if they could take me away,
Whisk me up in their glowing arms
And fly high and far
And never stop.
They said okay,
So I closed my eyes
And I imagined just that
And everything was alright
And everything was okay.
 Sep 2015 reposession
mrmonst3r
When
I'm at my emptiest,
I long to lose
Myself in physical
Ecstasy.
Desperate
yearning
extinguished
Through
flesh on flesh.
******* passion
Throats ripped,
Blood pours.
Devouring
your entirety
On a wave of
Nothingness.
I ache
to feel
Something.
I want to feel your calloused hands on my body
But I know
I know my mind is against it
I wish to feel your lips
Trailing tender kisses
Not to skip an inch
But I know
I know my inner self would fight it
Some days I even dream
Of the most beautiful intimate things
Yet I know
I know those are only just dreams
You, on the other hand
You make your dreams come true
Oh, yes, you certainly do
Trailing kisses through the soft skin
Of yet just another girl
Who fell to believe your harmonious sins
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