a few seconds left
a few minutes
a few hours
a few days

i'm spinning in circles,
twirling the sky,
and the dizziness decreases.

every second hand's tick echoes infinitely
echo echo
a glance, a hand-wring
I pick my nails.

Time
the departure and arrival of the present
Evolution of the future into the past.
          The grass is growing
          The surroundings groan
while i try to open my eyes
    tense with
    anticipation
    excitation

gas tank almost empty
big capital e's have never looked so attractive

Now, the doors will be unlocked,
And ripped off
And crunched, crushed,
And incinerated, obliterated.
Oh,
what a refreshing breeze
smells like sunflowers,
pomegranates,
and honey.

Let's neglect new barriers.

  I can see
the pores of time.
I'm the future
a crane, an eagle
an equal

The doorknob's key is in my hand,
An axe in the other.

All those years
of inescapable limitation to
the view from a windowsill,
they will soon be the senile, wrinkled remains
of tears, of fears, of jeers.

Soon, I will soar
Escape this world of sore
Existence at the core
Of the personalities who tore
At the pained cultivation of my soul,
Who decided it was best to close my doors,
I know, I swear, these shackles, held in the hands of unmuffled cackles,
Will disintegrate in nothing
but dust and flies to blind their eyes,
Keeping them, from once again,
Binding me into void oblivion,
I am blinded by triumphant tears,
They'll evaporate eventually,
Leaving behind puffed and swollen emotional Glory.

It's kindly refreshing feeling this unburdened,
This unbridled by self-caused worry or stress.

It's quite wonderful,
I'm in awe.
Finally, I make my worth
Worthwhile for my self.
Where others could only see before,
Now I understand and transcend to the places
Of self-control and self-awareness.

It's oddly welcoming,
This metamorphosis, encouraged and manipulated before,
Now begins with my own will and desire.

For if you can pluck a leaf
Off of a tree before it's ready to descend of its own accord,
The tree would believe it to be, passively deceived.
But your efforts to force the tree to produce
Fresh new green would be in vain;

For every spring is an epiphany.
As it begins to feel the shivers of
A new beginning,
The delight of newfound self-life and self-love
And it chooses to change.

The flesh may still be fine...
One must just pare bruised
And bad spots away,
As a razor once excised mine.
A blurred mind mused
At the slowness of life
When it oozed,
Crimson's contrast
On pale skin,
Like paint
Escaped my palette,
Or red roses on canvas,
Mute shouts of color
Wasted in slick puddles
On the floor.
Red too soon fades sepia;
Wounds become scars,
Their hardness protects,
Forever reminds.
Though grown timid
Of assaults from steel,
Old psyche still yields
To lancet's probing,
Words released fall,
Now as drops to paper.

You poison my mind
Keep me up at night
I toss and turn
But when I switch off that light
You still drive me crazy
Even though you aren’t here
I reach, but can't feel you
Don't smell any beer
And then I roll over
And I am lying alone
You are worlds away
But you won’t call my phone
Can’t stand my thoughts of you
Each night I slumber
But it kills you too
Because I changed my number

A broken hero walks through the streets of his home town
Home from a war he didn't understand
But was pretty **** good at fighting
He's got a slight limp and it's making
All the cracks in the sidewalks a little different
And every time he trips
He wishes he were back in the desert
His camouflage can't hide him here
His bullet proof vest can't protect him from piercing glances
And his gun won't stop the advance of the fear crawling through him
It won't stop the uncertainty closing in on him
For all the times he was in a fire fight
Shooting his gun into nothing  but the night
He never felt uncertain
You get shot at and you shoot back
It was never complicated
Your best friend dies
But you've taken enough best friends' lives that
It just seems logical
But here at home he can't take his safety off
He takes his gun apart
Hangs the different pieces on his wall
A modern art tribute to the dog tags he's yet to deliver to weeping widows
He's come home to a world he can't associate with
A family he can't share stories to
A job force that doesn't know what to do with him
Because they're not quite sure how you get a bachelor's degree in blowing **** up
Or how dodging bullets relates to crunching numbers
He's come home to a girlfriend who feels just guilty enough
To have *** with him for a few months before leaving him
For his best friend she's been with for years
And a G.I. Bill just big enough to drink his way through his thirties
Which will be just long enough to learn he can't drown the sounds of battle
Out with Busch pounders
That beer goggles don't work on memories
And that MRE's don't quite cut it for Thanksgiving dinners
He can't form any saliva in his perma-cotton mouth
So he seals envelopes with his tears
As he sends out the letters that were supposed to be just in case
But just in case turned out to be the case a little too often
He finds it unsettling that every time he goes out
He know he's coming home
He forgot to stop at red lights for weeks
And when he remembered he was supposed to
He still didn't stop
It's not that he wants to die
He just wants to know he still can
He wakes up too early for everybody else
Makes his bed, folds his socks, shines his boot
Eats breakfast, and watches the news talk about withdrawal
As he wipes the sleep from his eyes to prepare for the symptoms of his own
He sleeps on the floor till the Army Surplus Store
Delivers his cot
It's not that he doesn't want to be normal
It's that he forgot how
He's bought the plane tickets
But still doesn't know what to say
He knows they already know
But he has promises to keep
What can he say to the wives of men
That were stronger than him
How's he supposed to stay strong for them
When he wasn't strong enough to die with them
And once a year his home town holds a parade
In honor of the fallen veterans from the community
He keeps wondering why he has yet to be invited
Because the only thing keeping him alive is his heart beat
He's not offended
But he feels more at home at the cemetery
With the dead and buried
Than in the church next door
They morn them in
He wakes up at night in flop sweats
From nightmares of bullets lodged in his chest
That he's come to call
Dreams

Well, my daddy left home when I was three,
and he didn't leave much to Ma and me,
just this old guitar and a bottle of *****.
Now I don't blame him because he run and hid,
but the meanest thing that he ever did was
before he left he went and named me Sue.

Well, he must have thought it was quite a joke,
and it got lots of laughs from a lot of folks,
it seems I had to fight my whole life through.
Some gal would giggle and I'd get red
and some guy would laugh and I'd bust his head,
I tell you, life ain't easy for a boy named Sue.

Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean.
My fist got hard and my wits got keen.
Roamed from town to town to hide my shame,
but I made me a vow to the moon and the stars,
I'd search the ***** tonks and bars and ****
that man that gave me that awful name.

But it was Gatlinburg in mid July and I had
just hit town and my throat was dry.
I'd thought i'd stop and have myself a brew.
At an old saloon in a street of mud
and at a table dealing stud sat the *****,
mangy dog that named me Sue.

Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
from a worn-out picture that my mother had
and I knew the scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
He was big and bent and gray and old
and I looked at him and my blood ran cold,
and I said, "My name is Sue. How do you do?
Now you're gonna die." Yeah, that's what I told him.

Well, I hit him right between the eyes and he went down
but to my surprise he came up with a knife
and cut off a piece of my ear. But I busted a chair
right across his teeth. And we crashed through
the wall and into the street kicking and a-gouging
in the mud and the blood and the beer.

I tell you I've fought tougher men but I really can't remember when.
He kicked like a mule and bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laughin' and then I heard him cussin',
he went for his gun and I pulled mine first.
He stood there looking at me and I saw him smile.

And he said, "Son, this world is rough and if
a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
and I knew I wouldn't be there to help you along.
So I gave you that name and I said 'Goodbye'.
I knew you'd have to get tough or die. And it's
that name that helped to make you strong."

Yeah, he said, "Now you have just fought one
helluva fight, and I know you hate me and you've
got the right to **** me now and I wouldn't blame you
if you do. But you ought to thank me
before I die for the gravel in your guts and the spit
in your eye because I'm the nut that named you Sue."
Yeah, what could I do? What could I do?

I got all choked up and I threw down my gun,
called him pa and he called me a son,
and I came away with a different point of view
and I think about him now and then.
Every time I tried, every time I win and if I
ever have a son I think I am gonna name him
Bill or George - anything but Sue.

look at the stream of life, the
streaming of consciousness,
each in their own contained,
Untouchable
bubble. their private world, heading
in one direction, toward

One destination.

yet separate, disparate, diverging,
Disassociating. Why is this? as
machines show no recognition, so
too, is the car’s shell aptly
assumed; purposeful, intent, yet is this
humanity?

oh but there is not time to
Stop. to think reflect muse wonder for,
the stream continues, rushing…
flashing… by, in a droop, a mere
flutter,
of the eye. is this an

Escape?

the final great escape? or just
Life
as we know it.