I thought that I knew
Who I was supposed to be,
But then I met you
And it was electricity.
I never understood
Being lost in someones eyes,
But when you look at me
Im completely hypnotized.
You cast a spell on me,
One that I cant explain.
You are passion and beauty
Our love cant be contained.

Light shining down
But its too bright to see
The warm air surrounds
But it feels cold to me

Time moves on
Seasons change
The world spins around
But the past remains

I feel like I’m losing my mind
The dark reaches deep inside.
Further with every step
I’m falling into the abyss.
My world has faded to black.
My heart is under attack.
Your words cut like fire and I
Am losing my will to survive.

World crashing in
Breath becomes shallow
A soul once alive
Now nothing but a shadow

I wish you didn't have to go.
You left so soon.
We had so much left to explore,
So much living left to do.
You were my best friend,
My partner in crime.
Life without you feels empty
And it hurts all the time.
I lay awake at night feeling so afraid,
Worried that its my fault
That you went away.
I brought you in to that life,
And then left while you stayed.
I went away to college
While you partied your days away.
I wish I could've been there
To have prevented the worst;
But now you are gone,
And this world feels cursed.

The worst lies
Are the lies we tell ourselves.
Denial;
Meaning to declare something as untrue.
Denial
Was the only thing I had left
To latch onto.
Denial
Was my only friend.

I'm a dreamer with no destination,
Looking for a place called home.
I follow the map of the stars,
Looking for a place to rest my heart.
I follow the sound of his voice,
Leading me to a place of love.
I follow my Heavenly Father,
Who is looking out for me above.
And I will follow what I need
Until one day, I can lead.

The days go by,
Not hearing your voice
Or seeing your face.
The seasons change
And the days get shorter.
All the while
You're over there
While I'm stuck here.
My heart aches
To be with you,
To hold you close,
To hear your heartbeat.
My mind goes back
To when you were here,
To those nights
Where you looked into my eyes
And made me feel so safe.
You were my everything,
My beautiful mistake.

This emptiness inside
Is killing me.
This feeling of not belonging
To anything or anyone.
Knowing that there is no one
Who cares about me,
Who loves me.
I can't help but wonder
If I should just leave;
Leave this life
Of misery and heartache;
Because no matter what I do,
It isn't getting better
And I'm not going to wait around forever
To see if it does.

The struggle inside
Is more real then ever.
It's beginning to surface
On the outside,
And it's almost impossible
To hold it together.
People always ask me
Why I look so tired;
Little do they know that
My soul is on fire,
Slowly burning away on the inside,
Until one day
There is nothing left to burn.

© Fully Copyrighted, all rights reserved. Rebekah Fleck.

Everyone has those moments
Where they look in the mirror
And hate what they see.
They see the face of a person
Who has made a thousand mistakes.
They see the body of a person
Who never feels or looks good enough.
They see the eyes of a person
That give a glimpse into their troubled soul.
They see the hands of a person
Who doesn't have another one's hand to hold.
Everyone has those moments
Where they look in the mirror
And hate what they see.
I have those moments
Every time I see my reflection.

© Fully Copyrighted, all rights reserved. Rebekah Fleck.

Inside I feel like I'm just a quiet little girl
Who is afraid of the world,
Who is afraid to let anyone get close to her,
Who is afraid to put herself out there.
I try to be brave,
Put on a strong face,
And act like the world is mine for the taking.
But that's not who I am.
I try to mature, and learn to open up,
I do wreckless things:
I drink, I party, I have ***,
But no matter what I do
Something inside of me
Won't let me grow up.
Something inside of me
Won't allow me
To let the world in.

© Fully Copyrighted, all rights reserved. Rebekah Fleck.

I want to change.
I want to be a good person,
Who does good things.
So why is it that whenever I am tempted,
I give in?
I have been alone and confused
For so long.
At this point it's hard to tell
Where I even belong.
This pain inside is never going to heal,
If I can't change my ways
And start something real.

It seems to me
That the one thing
People are always searching for
Is freedom.
Like a teenager,
Wanting freedom from their parents
So they can finally start there life.
Like a slave,
Sending a prayer to God
And hoping to one day be free.
Like an animal
All alone in a shelter,
Waiting for a home.
Like an unborn child,
Patiently sitting in it's mothers womb,
Waiting to be born.
It's like the New Hampshire motto;
'Live Free or Die'.
Some people receive their simple wish
For freedom.
But others die trying.

© Fully Copyrighted, all rights reserved. Rebekah Fleck.

What do you do
When the person you loved most
Goes away?
Do you mourn the loss
Of the person you can't live without?
Or do you **** up your pride,
And begin to search for someone else?
Accepting that someone is gone,
Is one of life's greatest difficulties;
But with the acceptance
Comes a greater understanding
Of why things happen.
When you can accept the fact
That they are gone,
And when you can accept your fate
And finally move on,
Then, and only then
Will you finally be free.

© Fully Copyrighted, all rights reserved. Rebekah Fleck.

The road that I'm on
Is full of never-ending twists and turns.
I look ahead of me
And see hundreds of paths overlapping.
Which one do I take?
Which road leads to the rest of my life?
It's all so unclear, so uncertain.
I ask for help from a man walking by,
He just laughs and walks away.
Why won't anyone help me?
I just need to know which way to go,
I don't get why it's so hard
To find my way home.

© Fully Copyrighted, all rights reserved. Rebekah Fleck.

How did I end up here?
I'm not the person I used to be,
The person I am supposed to be.
Somewhere along the way
I got a little lost.
I had values and standards,
But they are all forgotten.
As I stare into the darkness
I wish for one thing;
To become the girl I used to be.

© Fully Copyrighted, all rights reserved. Rebekah Fleck.

You were my first love.
I was so young, so foolish.
I was just a little girl.

You were my best friend.
My feelings for you were so strong,
but I didn’t know how to handle them.

I was stupid, crazy, obsessive,
I just wanted you to feel the same.
But you never did.

I have changed a lot,
I’m a different person.
And I would like to think
That I’m the kind of person
That you would want to be with.

The kind of person that I should have been
All those months ago.

© Fully Copyrighted, all rights reserved. Rebekah Fleck.

I feel so broken,
Words can't describe how I feel.
It was all lies,
This can't be real.
I believed you
Time after time.
I really thought that someday
I would be able to call you mine.
I cry myself to sleep every night.
I cant eat, I can't leave my bed.
I don't know what to tell people
When they ask why I'm so depressed.
I feel so, so stupid
For thinking that you loved me.
You broke me,
And I can never be fixed.

© Fully Copyrighted, all rights reserved. Rebekah Fleck.

Everyone who cared left.
The people who I loved the most
Just walked right out the door.
I've been alone for far too long now,
So much pain and anger inside.
All I want is one person
Who can help me make it out alive.
Over and over again
I tell myself I should just disappear.
Wouldn't the world be better off
With one less soul to heal?

© 2013 Rebekah Fleck. Legally Copyrighted, all rights reserved. Registration #: EOKT-BUQA-DNMF-7Y5W

Outside of you
Is a typical teenage girl.
Inside of you
Is a completely different person.
Outside of you
You are happy, carefree.
Inside of you
You are sad, alone.
Outside of you
You seem so careful, so fragile.
Inside of you
You are broken into a million pieces.
Outside of you
You talk as if everything is fine.
Inside of you
You are just waiting for the pain to go away.

© 2013 Rebekah Fleck. Legally Copyrighted, all rights reserved. Registration #: HOH6-UUDT-AZRI-BAHI

I wasn't the one who walked away,
The one who said goodbye,
Never to return again;
It was you.

I wasn't the one who ended it all,
I was just the one to take the fall.
I wasn't the one who left;
It was you.

I wasn't the one who said they'd had enough,
The one who wanted to be free
And leave the other in the dust;
It was you.

I was the one who moved on,
The one who took hold of my life.
I'm not the one who wants things back;
It is you.

© 2013 Rebekah Fleck. Legally Copyrighted, all rights reserved. Registration #: C3WQ-ADQI-CSE5-6CLY

I stare at you across the room,
Just sitting there.
The look on your face is peaceful,
And ever so still.

I sit here
And I think about us;
Everything we've been through.
I want to walk away,
And leave you and the memories behind.
But I know that never works
Because I've tried it a thousand times.

We swore we'd be friends until we died;
That no matter what happened
We would find our way back to each other.

I stare at you across the room,
Knowing what I have to do.
In order to move on
I have to let go of the memories
And you.

© 2013 Rebekah Fleck. Legally Copyrighted, all rights reserved. Registration #: GGXY-6PF1-SXPC-IFO2

Happiness fades to sadness,
Just as the sun fades to dark.
Alone and cold
I feel agony, hopelessness, despair.
My world that was once filled with sunshine
Is now pitch black.
The peace and serenity
Is now anger and frustration.
The love and caring
Is now hatred and bitterness.
But just as the sun fades to dark,
the dark fades to light,
And the cycle repeats itself
Yet again.

© 2013 Rebekah Fleck. Legally Copyrighted, all rights reserved. Registration #: JRXN-QUSU-PMVW-S3OW

Why can't you see
That we can never be friends?
You caused me nothing but pain
Over, and over again.

You wounded my heart;
left it crying out for help.
It still lies here broken
Waiting for someone else.

You did nothing but lie,
Played me to the very end;
But yet now you come back
And tell me you want to start again?

You always say
That I'm the only one for you;
But I'm not the only one
You are telling that to.

You made me so angry,
Angrier than I've ever been.
So now I am telling you
That this is the end.

This is not how it works,
I'm not just some toy.
I need someone who can treat me right;
And you're just a boy.

© 2013 Rebekah Fleck. Legally Copyrighted, all rights reserved. Registration #: EKQ8-W5BS-PVIG-NGLA

You left me.
You walked away.
We had been through so much;
There are honestly no words I can say.
You made me so happy,
but now I'm so sad.
You made me feel different,
And I gave you everything I had.
I feel disgusted with myself
Knowing that you left me for someone else.
I thought what we had was real.
Leaving wasn't part of the deal.
I stay up at night
All alone in the dark,
Wishing I had never fallen for you
And that my world wasn't falling apart.

© 2013 Rebekah Fleck. Legally Copyrighted, all rights reserved. Registration #: ZVS2-NRVU-Q9MX-17WW