it’s official—
i hate being alone.
this isn’t a poem
but
it’s words
i needed to say

Love as defined in the dictionary: An intense feeling of deep affection.
Love as defined by 98% of others**: Painful.

There are no roads toward closure
when your family is taken
a piece of you dies
as your soul has been shakin'

The hole left behind
can never be filled
even when justice is served
you'll not really be thrilled

Your sadness will visit
throughout your years
but you'll find you can make it
through the shedding of tears

I never meant
To fall in love
I never meant
To fall in love
With you

But when you smiled
And called me beautiful
And told me
I was always on your mind
And that we would
Be forever until the end

How could I not?
Then I figured you
Out
You are a liar
You broke
Me
You broke the
Only me
I'd ever
Have

When I'm wide awake
At 4 AM
My mind still buzzing while my body is shaking
A tear rolls down my pale cheeks
As I clutched and pulled and begged at the sheets
My hands red, raw, with a thousand tiny lacerations
The train of my thoughts not stopping at stations
As my conciousness fades, an attempt to stall,
the inevitable breakdown.

And I fall
And fall.