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  Dec 2018 rebecca
Hello Daisies
I long to write
Beautiful things
Like Shakespeare
And elegant ballgowns
Something with more meaning
Then simply feeling down

I long to write
Of romeo and Juliet
Symbolic and deeper then most see
Oh thou arent very good with writing

I long to write
Like egar allen poe
Or any inspiration i claim to love
But instead i write of the dead things
That roam through my mind stirring

Pound pound pounding
My mind is  constantly aching
She's but a young child
Cry cry crying
For attention she seeks but it keeps dying

Plays and music will not be wrote
Of the things i write
For they are not artistic
They are but a jumbled mess
Never knowing where to place
Line or

Now I'm rambling
On and on and on
She goes sad and chaotic
Whispering obscenities
And screaming repetitive words and pleas

I adore the poems and songs
That at face value seem
Like they are about love for another
When truly they ring about darkness

Oh sweet child
Your love keeps thy so warm
But it's breaking into a storm
I watch you try to sleep
Why do you weep?
Dost thou not realize thy beauty?
Stab thy heart into shreds
For i cannot breath without the
But i cannot smile when thy fills my blood with led

Sweet little girl
You have made no sense
Get on your knees and repent
For you will never be

My head was filled with so very mamy words this morning i had to get them all out
  Dec 2018 rebecca
Is it wrong to want to die
To just give up, no longer try
Or to dwell and wonder why
I feel alone and always cry

Why am i always so sad
Always down and rarely glad
While many times everyday
For an end I often pray

Why do I still feel this way
Wish these feeling I could stray
Instead I feel like dying
Too tired from all the crying
Just how i often feel
  Dec 2018 rebecca
John White
I save my life every day.
Every morning I wake up
and decide to live,
even though my limbs are heavy
and my mind stumbles,
I still heave myself up,
put my feet on the floor
and stand
  Dec 2018 rebecca
Just a cut
just a scratch
what’s that mark
it was just the cat
just an excuse
just another lie
what’s with the bracelets
just fashion why?
just a tear
just a scream
why were you crying
just a bad dream
But it’s not just a cut
or a tear
or a scream
it’s just one more
until it’s not
until you die
  Dec 2018 rebecca
dear you,

i’m in love.
yes. you were
waiting, i
bet, for this.
this time, though,
it is not
what you would
think. it’s me
this time, not
you, although
it’s still you,
but not in
the way it
used to be
you. it’s my
fault this time,
my doing,
my painful,
it’s you in
the sense that
i cannot
control you.

this time,

it’s your mind and your thoughts
the things that slip off of your tongue
the words you put, pencil to paper
the ideas that come out in your songs

it’s your eyes and your sight
the careful observation of beauty
the need to bask in warm, pure light
the stare you give me, rarely now

it’s your movements and your touch
the hugs where you grip my shoulders
the times where i’m drunk and playing with your fingers
the warmth you give off and your gorgeous smile

none of them
are mine to
have, to take
to keep, to
love, to break

i miss you
and to go
and detach
to break what
we have, that’s
the hard way
out. but i
am trying
to help me.

i feel the
same way i
did when you
said i was
wrong about
this. about
how i feel.

i try to
not panic
and quiet
sob in the
bathroom at
3:27 am
every night.

i’m hoping
myself of
you, means that
the dreams will
go away
too. but if
they stay,
i’ll give you
a quick call.
a text, to
be honest.

i love you,
with every
part of me.

keep in touch,


it is better to regret doing something instead of not doing it at all.
rebecca Dec 2018
What is wrong with me?
Am I just not worthy?
Because who determines who deserves to be happy?
Who decided to **** us to be eternally unhappy?
Why is it me?

How is it fair?
I've been drowning all my life and I just now got a breath of fresh air
Does no one even care?

When will this stop?
When can I just relax and not dream of jumping off the top?
It would be so easy, letting myself drop
The truth is, nothing is wrong with me
I am worthy
I deserve to be happy
No one can explain why it's me, and no, it's not fair
But people really do care
Someday this will all stop
and I'll just remember when I wished for that deadly drop.
I haven't written in a long time.

I'm currently going through a really hard time with my depression. I would appreciate the prayers and the love <3
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