I can't find the words to describe how I feel
I know I miss you dearly
And would love to see you again
We were never that close
But you showed me that family is everything
What life is all about
Making the most of the time you have together
And supporting the ones you love when you're secretly suffering
I remember the last time I saw you
We all knew it was the end
I can't bear to think about that day
I wish I could tell you all the amazing things I am doing
And for you to see me grow up and enjoy life
But I know you're watching over me
And I know I'll meet you again some day soon

I don't like
How those around us
Influence our behaviour
We change the words we use
How we act towards one another
And are just different
Why?
Why do we change for some people?
To please them or to keep them close by?

The love you give me
I cannot accept
I don't know how to love in return

I fear one day you will leave
That you will have had enough
Or that you meet someone new

The paranoia is winning
And I can't control it
Just leave, go on without me

I have had enough
I can't take much more
All the pain
And the voices in my head
Do I speak up and tell them how I really feel?
Or do I wear my mask
And wish I was dead?

I crave to feel something
No matter what it may be
Even if it hurts
To feel that would be better than not feeling anything at all

A small cut
One
Two
Three?
Another one won't hurt I tell myself

My legs covered in blood
I cry and scream
But at least I can feel something
Even if it is temporary

The pain passes
And the numbness returns
Until I give in to my urges once more

I don't even know how I feel
I don't know what I want
Or what I need

I am so numb
And crave to be alone
To cry myself to sleep

But here I am
I lay in your bed
Hoping to sleep and not wake up.

Through thick and thin
I'll be by your side

Through the ups and downs
I'll be there

You have my heart
No matter what