It was many and many a year ago,
  In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
  By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
  Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
  In this kingdom by the sea:
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
  I and my ANNABEL LEE;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
  Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
  In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
  My beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
So that her highborn kinsmen came
  And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
  In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
  Went envying her and me—
Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,
  In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
  Chilling and killing my ANNABEL LEE.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
  Of those who were older than we—
  Of many far wiser than we—
And neither the angels in heaven above,
  Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
  Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
  Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes
  Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,
  In her sepulchre there by the sea—
  In her tomb by the side of the sea.

I lay atop your body
Breathing hitching,
You **** me nice and hard,
But I know you'll soon be gone.

I've learned the hard way lately,
I don't seem to mean much.
I'm just good for one thing
And then you leave.

Prince Charming isn't real, you see,
He's a child fantasy
He's never gonna come
To save the day

I know you're not the one,
I know it's not gonna last,
But it's still nice to feel loved
Even just for a little while

We were the best of friends,
Spending all of our time
Together
I can do anything
With you in my life.
Now that you’re gone
nothing ever feels right.
Take the clouds away
And bring back the light.

Nothing really matters
Without you by my side.
When you hold me in your arms
I feel alright.
Baby, come back to me,
I’ll stay here with you
Don’t leave me here alone
Please, don’t say goodbye.

We can spend all day,
talk about nothing forever
You are the thing that moves me,
You make me better
The sun doesn’t shine,
The rain clouds set in.
I would trade all my days
For one with you again.

My heart is broken,
Nothing’s real any more.

No point in returning to the way I used to feel. 

So much is hurting, so much has gone.

I wish you could see,

I don’t want to be alone anymore.

I still love you,
Yes I do.
The sun is darker
When you aren't around.
Please listen to me scream,
Listen and you'll find


That maybe, just maybe,
You still love me too.

The day seems like the night,

Endless clouds in the sky.

The rain will never end,

Every night I hear our last good-bye's.
I want to hold you,

In my arms.

Just know, my dear, you’ll always be here,

Inside my heart.

I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,

For all the pain I’ve caused.

I want to see you happy,

To take away your scars.

Perhaps in that heart of yours,

The heart I know so well

If you listen to it closely,
You'll hear it start to call for me.

*Come back... I need you too...
It'll be different this time...
Please, my love,
I still love you too...

Hold your head up,
Push away the dark thoughts,
Think only of the good you have done.
You'll soon be okay,
You'll soon come to see,
You don't have to be alone anymore.

There's a person who cares,
A person that thinks
That you are their whole world.
Just give them a chance
And hold out your hand
To take hold of the future with them.

I never intended for this to happen,
I never knew what could be.
I didn't think you'd be much more
Than a friend, nothing more, you see.

I never intended to hold you tight
And share my hopes and dreams
I forgot what it felt like to be cared for,
To repair my broken and torn seams.

I never intended to feel what I feel
And what I feel scares me to death.
But what I feel is strong and it's real
And I will defend it to my very last breath.

Because I never intended to fall for you dear.
I was a broken and terrible mess.
You've helped me see what I can truly be.
I just had to get this off my chest.

You are the wings on my feet that take me your way
You are the drugs in my mouth to lead me astray.
Your are the bruise on my heart, painful and blue
You are the lead on my legs, drowning me too.
You are the tears on my cheeks running down now
You are the hope in their drops that I shouldn’t allow.
You are the corpse on my back, the skull in my hand
You are the wind to my sails, the flag to my land.
I cannot give up and so I will lose
All I have dear and willfully choose
To give up pride and be beaten down
Sacrificing the safety of my crown.

You never see the world the way it is,
You've never felt cold, hard truth;
Your heart isn't whole, or close to it,
Though it's never been torn in two.

Often heard people say,
You only love once.
True love only comes around once in your lifetime.
There'll never be more than one soul mate,
more than your one and only.
The one who is so terribly wrong for you, but loving him feels more than right...it is perfection.

I met him years ago, the beginning of Autumn.
New season, new love.
Never knew it would turn out to be THE GREAT LOVE.
We were both so young, passionate and in love.
But as seasons change, so do people.

I was a student, she already had a career.
Guess the choice was easy.
She was the perfect choice, I, well I was a bit too broken, too wild to be tamed.
I was the party girl, the tattooed one, too unstable to be loved.
If only he knew that the wild loves unconditionally...we love forever.
I wanted to cry out loud, pick me!
The words just never reached my mouth.

I saw him recently and after six years,
I knew...I just knew this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.
He told me he is too messed up...too selfish to be with someone.
What if he hurts me?
What if he cannot give me the happiness I deserve?
God, does this man not know he is my happiness.
I believe everything in life is a gamble and I'm willing to bet my heart.
I am willing to try, but I cannot do it alone.

If ever I walk down the aisle,
Lord, please let it be him waiting there for me.
I do not want to be his whole heart, I just want to be the one letting it skip a beat.
I want to watch him fall asleep and kiss him goodnight.
I want to be his wife.

For when true love comes around, it only happens once.
Never will you love someone the way you love your soul mate.

To be continued...

One day you wake up and there it is...
madness staring at you with big, dark eyes.
You smell the unpleasant stench of the uninvited guest.
Go away!
You are not welcome here.
You put your foot in the door, but the hairy monster made it into your home...into your head.

Your heart starts to beat uncontrollably.
Dear Lord, do not let it go any faster, you might not make it.
Someone is choking you...please help.
No! No one is there.
Gasping for air.
Remember what she told you, breathe in and out...in and out...

Should you call her?
Reaching for the phone you notice your hands shaking...tremors they call it.
Much like an earthquake.
****! Keep still, you just can't seem to find her number.
Suddenly the little voices whispers with the sound of laughter, you are so useless, useless, utterly useless.
Make it stop.
Please go away, you plead.

You hide under the table, under the blankets.
It feels safe, I know.
Rocking back and forth, back and forth, back and forth...
Stop doing it!
Lord, if You are out there, let it go away.
Let the madness only last awhile, for any longer than this you might be stuck in your own reality forever.
A reality which is not theirs.

And then the calmness sets in.
Like a lightning bolt it overwhelms you.
You do not know this.
You could never get used to this.
What is this?
Why is your mind playing tricks on you?
You get up with thoughts racing,
Is this me?
Is this what has become of me?
The more you hide, the more the madness starts to show...
On your face, the tremble of your hands, the wild look in your eyes, the speed of your speech.
You can never hide the monster which lives inside you.

And so you accept what is you.
They lock you up for weeks on end with people much like you.
No one wants to be in the presence of the unknown.
You scare them...
You know you will never be the same again.
The you that was, will never be again.
Family, friends, colleagues, even your children will at times not recognize you at all.
The sting of madness, that must be the saddest of it all.

They fail to remember,
You are only a wilted flower.
You can do no harm.
You are too sad, too pathetic, too lonely even when they are around.
An adult sleeping in a fetus position for you feel safe that way.
Crying and pouring your soul out to the monster who made their home inside of you.
That is what I have become and Lithium reminds me every night before I go to bed.
This is what I am.