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 May 2014 Rebecca Scull
em
Clothed in nakedness
and courage
I lay you my heart
on stone cold tiles
just like the fingers
that trace my spine.

You tug at it
my satin sleeve
and delicate heartstrings.
You unravel me
as we tangle in tango.
This gift
I give to you.

Opened and crumpled paper wrappings
left in the corner
just like the pastel skirt
worn for you.
Torn and used
what more
have you to do?

Months past eight
there is none but you.
Even through the tears
still,
you are my rain
you are my shelter.
 May 2014 Rebecca Scull
em
Cold End
 May 2014 Rebecca Scull
em
How is it possible to love someone
with every bone of your body
each fibre in your heart
all ticks in the clock
in every breath of lungs
with everything in your mirror's reflection

When he doesn't even remember
you're there.
 May 2014 Rebecca Scull
em
With him, nothing ever seemed certain.
His replies were a two second wait or
a two week pause.

Everything was a competition.
"I'm sure he likes the heels I have on today,
more than that pretty blonde he just checked out."
Some days, he thought I was the prettiest thing.

I'd have to wait till the hype
of the football match finally simmered down
before we could cuddle and laugh.
But there were times where he'd abandon it
and turn the channel to my favourite classic.

I could never be sure
but I gave him everything.

It was so wrong
but it felt so...good.
I'm on the edge of sleep,
but I'm scared.

What if I fall over
and
only
have
dreams
of
you
forever?
I knew I was falling in love when the thought of you leaving took my breath away with it.
When losing the possibility of an "us" drowned my mind with sorrow and sent my heart overflowing with regret.
A world without you, is a world without air.

I'm impatient and insecure.
I'm scared and often times confused, yet you have become the only real thing I am sure about.
The only air my lungs want to breathe.

You've begun to unravel as the answer to most of the questions in my life.
Especially the ones I never thought of asking.
Your brutal honesty tears through my walls of insecurity.

But you never do it to hurt me.
You only do it to make me stronger.

I never thought I could love with the possibility of that love returned.

I always loved blindly.
Eyes closed I searched with outstretched hands in hopes of feeling something to hold on to.
Something real to guide me home.

But I stare at you with eyes wide open.
My feet gliding toward your presence like a moth to a flame.
I am drawn to the love I see burning inside you.

I'm scared of everything we could be.
I'm frightened by our potential and terrified of a possibility not lived.

But I can feel myself falling for you and there are only two directions to go.
I can crash to the ground in a helpless smash, or I can be lifted up into your arms.
I'm not sure which one will hurt the least.

I want to close my eyes to the thought of you and hold my breath,
But we always choke with eyes wide open.
Without you I am choking, but with you I am breathless.
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