Reality and existence
feel much better
but I miss this
way a drug
makes me feel
undoes the real
makes the body heal
next day
drug fades
pain come back
from gone away
now it's a face
in the mirror
staring
saying
what did you do
who are you
what will you become
of this
substance
will be your
decay
who is your slave
on the master
do you pray
to give you what you need
to look life face to face
and understand what it takes
to move forward in the rain

the acid rain
drips away

here you are today

we were at the hospital the other day
on acid
saw some people
that looked
subhuman
started thinking those thoughts
like
how i would **** them
and get rid of
all of them
the acid talking
i breathed
and stepped out of the hospital to breathe
no smoking sign
telling me i can't do that
right here
fresh air
is near
over here
by the flowers
i smoked
a girl with purple hair
around me
very near
"is that your peoples?"
no no no
laughing
i don't know why
he thought she was with me
we were just staring
fading
tripping
the flowers looked 3D
the bee inside
looked like some **** from planet earth
i heard it there first
my first trip
a visit
to see a friend
struggling to breathe
while we smoke out front
walked into icu with a blunt
celebrating life
thinking about memories
and how they make us
rely
on what we know
and remember
to tell us the future
but
it's really what we make it
we can create new
break down barriers
break down the walls
make new paths
in the brain
heal
recover
breathe stronger the next day

I broke the LCD of his laptop,
and he's putting all the blame on me.
I just sit on his bed,
but I don't know, that bag of his
has a laptop.
Yes I admit, 'cause there's no one
to be blamed.
Yet he's also careless to just leave
his things anywhere.
But where can I find a money
to pay Php 8,000.00?
I don't hava any job yet,
and I'm afraid to tell my parents.
Maybe I will just pay Php 5,000.00
but hoooow?
I don't know, I don't have that money,
if only I am rich. **sigh

Dedicate this poem to my precious babe
Please let my hidden sorrow eventually pass.  
This short-lived memory of you will never fade
From this delicate coffin made of white glass.

Please let my hidden sorrow eventually pass
For I continue to wonder if you would look like me.
From this delicate coffin made of white glass
I see your face, his and mine is what it would be.  

For I continue to wonder if you would look like me
Would you have my eyes or would it be his you wear?
I see your face his and mine is what it would be
I am so sorry that I never gave you air.

Would you have my eyes or would it be his you wear?
This short-lived memory of you will never fade.
I am so sorry that I never gave you air.
Dedicate this poem to my precious babe.

up til sunrise
sleep til sunset
the days slip away

searching for something
greater
more
beyond today

living in the present
trying to push away the past
but the past is the only present in my mind

stopping is too much time
too much time is not enough
the days slip away

going in circles
makes everything spin too fast
too dizzy to move forward
too dizzy to move back

too much want, not enough do
but too much do to want much else
the days slip away

placing my love in things too far to reach
pointless
time-consuming
and mind-consuming

too much sleep to be tired
but too tired to sleep
the days slip away

laughing and smiling
and frowning and crying
too small to place on a timeline

roll on toward it
work toward it
all of it
is worth it to get to it

too much of it but too little of it
as the days slip away.

never knew you
except from
far away

never loved you
except from
far away

never
except for
in poems and colors

and  
...
you know

i never wanted to give
you anything more
than what you wanted.

tonight i was thinking
if the moon were one
of the eyes of God

would it rain every night,
or some nights shine so bright
that even the sleepiest birds

couldn't help singing?
i know
you remember.

dear india,
just one
question:

if you're gone, which you are,
and i'm gone, which i am,
gone like refugees,

why do you
keep showing up
in my dreams?

a turtledove being
attacked by wild
beasts doesn't wait
to cry

out for help
or for You
nor do I
all I ask

for is You
to fight for
me since I
seem to be

too weak; You
and I have
been here before;
I have not

forgotten
Your
kindnesses