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Nishant Rawat Mar 2020
I ain't myself
Since you are gone
You were a habit
So difficult to withdraw
All of these times
We were so wrong
This is it
Together we will grow
Old times were great
This is what the future will hold
For us till reality hits
We didn't wanna get involved
My memory's no sharp
Still, remember the things you told
Life's empty nothing left to hold
So sometimes I sigh
Reminiscing those emotional highs
When I used to fly
Now I'm down on the ground
You are nowhere to be found
So it's better you don't check on me
And call no more
You better with someone with a regular role
On a beach
While I resort to your IG feed
Checking till the end I reach
So I'm happy you living good
You not alone
But I ain't myself
Since you are gone
Nishant Rawat Dec 2019
Who? Who?
Who the hell are you dude?
Looking in the mirror and it got me confused
I am your alter ego, you worthless fool
"Hello?"
What's wrong, why are you here?
You need to listen to this, what I am about to share.
What are you trying to say, I can't understand it.
Why don't you just leave? I am turning to manic
What the hell is going on, I can't comprehend
He said
Why are you waiting? you have to go far
Why don't you just believe me and aim for stars
Dude, you are nothing just thought that pop
The road will be tough, you will get scars
He said that it's ok, you will be fine
Couple cuts and bruises you will be alright
You don't need anyone, I'm here by your side
Who the hell are you? telling me this why
I am the one, who don't want you to be ******
See yourself dude, don’t you feel pity?
No limit in the sky you can't fly
You got soul, you shouldn't quit
******* dude, you are just a lie
No man I am you, dude don't be shy
Walk off that door, have to pick up your fight
Have to do it now, you know time just flies
It's your choice, you need to make a call
Fight for yourself, it's ok even if you fall
You'll probably think I'm stupid, what I am looking for
Felt like hours before I finally reached the door
As I walked out of that door, mind full for fear
Legs were shivering, as I step down the stairs
My heart is ******* beating, thoughts were not clear
My stomach ******* turning, all I'm feeling was fear
Things started moving and the sun was shinning
Don't get yourself stuck here, see life's silver lining
These aren't mere words you won't know how it feels
But I hope you never do because I swear that it kills
Life leaves pains that are impossible to heal
But you have you, you are irreplaceable
Nishant Rawat Dec 2019
After the last year of college
Taking all the baggage
Leaving this world of dreams
Have to face a world full of ruthless screams
Don't know whether we will be able to handle that pressure
But one thing is sure, we will miss these days of pleasure
Will never forget the feeling of first bunk
How we used to try to be hunks
How we used to stare girls sitting in the cafet
Sharing everything was our habit
How we used to fight for sitting back
Lectures were used to be our headache
How we used to irritate teachers
Used to sleep during boring lectures
How we used to study last night during exam time
Attending classes were used to be a crime
How we used to look here and there in the examination hall
Used to abuse to give each other  a call
How we used to run whenever the dean was on the round for dress check
Used to blame each other whenever made mistakes
How we used to break the rules
Thrown out of the class was used to be the status of being cool
How we used to chat on Facebook late night
Used to be the parts of online fights
Now when we have only one year with us
Don't want it to pass like a bus
Want to live each and every minute like a ton
Want to make every second of it a memorable one
Because I know that the time never turns back
Memories are the only thing that we will have
Just a reminiscence of the college time
Nishant Rawat Dec 2019
Why it always happens to me?
Why I can't set myself free?
Why I don't know what is right?
Why I don't have a reason to fight?
Why I never understood what is essential?
Why I never did justice to my potential?
Why I am so misunderstood?
Why I have nothing to look for in this concrete wood?
Why I never understood who were my friends?
Why I never got that this is not the end?
Why I am always skeptic about my belief?
Why I never felt that relief?
Why I am asking so many questions to myself?
Why I never had someone with me to help?
Why I am being so pessimist?
Why I have nothing to wish?
Is it because of not understanding myself?
Or Is it because of not being with you when you needed help?
I don't know the reason for this cyclone inside me
But this time I decided not to flee
Decided to fight against it with whatever I have
Ready to do everything to get out of this dark cave
So that I can find a new way and see a new sunshine
And once again decorate my life with new rhymes.
Nishant Rawat Dec 2019
I live in the moment
I don’t think of the past.
I am here with a belief
A belief that the world is good.
Everything is ok
It is how it should.
The ones who met me on the way
One who had so much to say.
The ones who accompanied for some foot
Those people were somewhat better.
Sometimes I feel like a menace Groot
Why I worry, I shouldn’t
I know, people are a bit angry
Some are just wealth hungry.
A lost traveler from a village
In a city full of savages.
Where everyone judges you
For the things, you don’t even do.
It’s necessary to remember the old path
A road where I met a sociopath.
He sat and cried with me
He had a house that’s **** is empty.
I too had a house
And a mind full of unknown fears.
But there is no one from my home
So I wandered alone aplenty.
I don’t belong to this site
Neither I belong there.
I belonged to the journey
Of the destination, I never care.
Mishaps are my friends
Roads know how I tour
The world is not the same every day
Sometimes I do pray.
I sell free time in the forest
The rivers are my love affair.
Every day I am a new person to myself
Didn’t want this to happen.
I was always empty-handed
Always taken a lot of things for granted.
Since I have turned from the city to the road
A lot of possibilities I imagine.
This age and time kept on passing
The journey is the only thing everlasting.
Nishant Rawat Dec 2019
Let's liberate each other
From the chains of society
Let's be real
Share each other's fears and anxiety
Let's be us
And try to find some similarities
Even if we are not the same
Sometimes it's ok not to have parity
I will be me
Hope you will be you
Till the time
It's figured out that I can be yours
And you can be mine
Well, it sounds stupid
Still, a good enough reason to rhyme
All I need is a reason to rhyme
Nishant Rawat Dec 2019
I am someone who doesn’t know himself after all these years.
I am someone who has unknown fears.
I am someone who wants to express without being vocal.
I am someone who wants to share, without being social.
I am someone who doesn’t care but still cares.
I am someone who looks harsh but has emotional layers.
I am someone who enjoys loneliness, the company of his own.
I am someone who connects and stares through the phone.
I am someone who wants to travel roads and miles.
I am someone whose life is entangled in files.
I am someone who dreams like a child.
I am someone who acts weird and wild.
I am a human, a mere human I am.
This is who I am, I have no shame.
This is me.
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