Well she

                Spread-eagled in the empty air

                                 Saw the waiting faces

        Time stood still

And she didn’t trust a man in tights

so



She fell

                   She paused in her existence

Feeding her resistance

No one had answers

Not even her



She decided absurdity wasn’t for her

And chose to follow a different philosophy

To live by

And grabbed a solid rung

In the wake of disaster,
When mountaintops touch my lips
And my toes curl from the cold sea
I think of your hand resting on my hip
Creating an earthquake in my too sill mind
Your chest moving with each sleep drenched breath
Your soft snores like honey to my fearful ears
Because when I'm with you
For a moment
I forget that I am required to be more than I am
And sink into unfamiliar rest

She sat on the bed, her eyes focusing and un focusing on the dust motes dancing across the room. “Why are you so inconsequential?” She asked out loud. Whether she was talking to herself or the flurries was unclear, but the words left her mouth either way. They hung in the air, a dark question that left her in dark places.
    Her eyes drifted around the room until they fell on the shiny blade, lying so innocently next to her. In her mind she debated having an existential conversation with the dust motes or dragging the sharp object over her thighs until she broke through her flesh and revealed the creamy white bone nestled beneath.

Draw your fingers across those skeleton keys
Match your breath to the tempo of my heart
And put the gun down.

Today feathers slipped from my mouth
Galaxies of bruises spread across my skin
And I became content with my body for a fleeting moment
But I can't tell you that.

Today someone cut my skin with scissor-sharp words
I felt the pressure of everything crushing me
And I aced a science test.
But I can't tell you that.

Today I realized that I feel like the only person in my universe
I missed the soft touch of your skin
And I felt sorry for myself
But I can't tell you that.

Today I tasted molten gold
Silver cascaded from the sky, similar to stars
And I wanted to kiss you
But I can't tell you that.

Today my fingers tapped the censored keys
I had an empty conversation with you
And I worried about our survival
But I can't tell you that.

You were supposed to be my forever
My heart ached for you
I was was blinded the moon
Never looking deeper into the clouds
My thoughts were birds
Pecking my fingers
Letting the ivory bone show through
I knew then
That it wasn't meant to be
That I was trying to feed my starving soul
With paper
And I cut to let my desires bleed out
Until a different pair of fingers
Brushed my skin.

My fingers danced across your skin
Dipping across valleys
Sliding down chasms
You radiate warmth and love
Filling me to the brim
Our hearts beat erratically
We cannot turn away from this
We stick together
Bonded by sweat and memories
We cry out each others names
Tasting salt and meaningfulness
We no longer act as two
We have absorbed each other
Returning to the beginning
Sinning.

Memories of you haunt my skin
Often you are intangible, unreachable
Occasionally
You allow yourself to be magnetized by my need
You tease me
You give me five seconds of your breath
Only to steal it back with a kiss
And you leave
And I am forced to pick apart these remnants of you
To draw them out on my own sanity
Until the next time that you decide
To greet me with loving arms
An innocent smile
And a soul wrenching kiss




But it's worth it.

I depend on you
The way my oak tree
Depends on
A dead branch.

I hope she
Doesn't become
Your
Dead weight,
In the way you
Became
Mine.

Why
Can't
I
Write
What
My
Soul
Wants
To
Say
.

I need to be released
Into deep
Dark
Oceans

So I can sift sand through my fingertips
And hide from you.

So I can hold your sacred eyes in my hand
And blind you.

So I can drown.

help

My soul is nervous, desperate
My fingers burn with a familiar itch
Ink pushes, trying to bleed out
Frantic to cover the pale white paper

Words stolen from my mouth
Lips replace them
Explore my caverous soul
******* endless love
My heart throbs in my throat
Heat fills me
I depend on our love

Ashes cascade from my lips
They form monuments
You are unreachable
Closed off in your glass case
Pity starts a fire
Lust eats me away
My bones ache
I build a city around myself
Reaching
You smile, tears seeping from every crevice
My heart is consumed, digested
I am left in darkness
Alone

My heart skips a beat
Fingers start to tremble furiously.

Emotions that I have no name for
Are free inside my head
They seep out my ears, my eyes, my mouth
I am blind, deaf and mute
All I am left to walk on are shards of glass and pain
Nor does my past remain with me any longer
I cannot grasp the smallest remnants, though I try
Tree branches support my neck
My head is tender and frail, it cannot be supported
I have lost myself.

I have a list of words
Hidden away
That I occasionally use.

Effervescent words to fill me up
Evocative and furtive words
To give the illusion
Of gossamer spinning from my mouth
A plethora of opulent words
To form stars and nebulas.

Yet.

With all of these long, surreptitious words
They do not help
My comprehension of
The simple ones

Two children are sitting together outside

Their young souls have not been penetrated by the darkness of the world

The girl looks shyly at the boy

She is telling him a secret with her soft, dew-filled eyes

They lean their heads closer as if they are magnets attracted

For the first time

Their lips meet

It is filled with curiosity and youth

They have not grown enough to know what passion is

It is a soft kiss, a sweet, innocent kiss

Not yet ruined by the flames of desire

They pull away

And innocence flees

My lips are dry, crusted with blood
My teeth can no longer hold words inside
Love bleeds out as my mouth cracks open
I am no longer surrounded by oblivion.
Stars break around me
Clouds drop to the earth
I have upset the motion of everything
I am in pursuit of you.
You hold my soul tightly, as it wraps itself around you
My heart is on your sleeve
You've stolen everything of mine
I would give you  my eyes, my voice
As long as you love me

As humans we love what is forbidden.
our cowering fingers reaching.
yet never grasping.

As humans we think we deserve the world
our golden scissors shredding away.
turning miracles into angel dust.

As humans we find pleasure in terrible ways.
toturing the innocent with words
and blaming the ****** for ******.

As humans we think we create beauty.
even though we destroy the natural world
covering the earth in grays

As a human, I write this.
despise for my race raising with every word.
and yet I am still human.
Holding qualities I cannot stand.

I am not ready to allow my broken body to yield to you
The centuries have weathered and ruined me
My mind stays, it insinuates movement, restless and hopeful
I am a vessel that bleeds out dreams and simplicity
I long for escape, I long to free myself from insignificance
My muscles ache under my skin from being mangled
All of my bones lie broken
So I am left here, to reflect on how nonessential I am
And I can only gaze at the same sight I've seen
I have been coerced to watch the earth, who does not appreciate me
For I am nothing but the moon.