They say you dont know what you have till its,
Gone.
The Truth?
You knew exactly what you had,
You just thought you'd never lose it.
That's what was wrong,
You thought you had her whipped.
You didn't love her.
She was just good for your ego.
But you say she didn't care.
I saw her care everytime you hugged another.
And break down,
She would cry when she thought of you two together.
Don't ever say she didn't care.
You're the one who didn't give a ****.
Because you don't destroy someone you love.

You fight like the love was never there,
And act like you never cared.
We aren't kids anymore,
Yet you still try to keep it hiden,
I feel like im 4 years old again,
Remembering the beginning.
It's a cycle for her,
Abuse in any form.
It's not physical this time,
But the pain is the same.
10 years is just too long,
It feels like a more than a decade.
The pain she wears like a battle wound.
For her it's like the past,
And yet we are still confused.
Because in all the times before,
Why is this the last straw?

This is all so new,
I can't think straight.
Seems too good to be true,
Could this really be a safe place to fall,
Does he know what he does to me?
I've tried so hard to keep my walls up,
But it's so easy for me to crash,
And just as easy to break.
He's in control of my heart.
I need this to work this time,
Just to keep me from falling apart.
I've fallen so hard.

If this is a mirage,
Then i never want it to fade.
This time it all makes sense.

I hate you for doing this to me.
So hold me and don't leave.
It's crazy how this all seems.
Because I want you to love me,
And i need you to trust me.
Confused and scared,
I'm terrified of you.
What have you done?
You've turned me into a stranger,
So you've won.
I've been here too many times before,
Now just tell me that it's all alright.
That everything you said wasn't a lie,
When you love me please don't leave me.
And if it's true,
I'll stay with you everynight,
I love you
For the rest of my life.

When did it suddenly become normal,
To never commit to anything.
It's not just in certain towns or cities it's all over.
Marriages are ending faster.
While people are having kids,
Who's brothers and sisters don't share the same two parents.
And daddy isn't there or mommy's having an affair.
There's no love put into it,
No possible future for anyone
What happened to only being with,
One,
One person that makes you feel love.
They make you feel amazing,
For more than just a couple of weeks,months,or years,
But that's the issue isn't it?
We get bored,
It's not fun anymore,
We don't feel like they take our breath anymore.
Then we start to wonder what they did wrong,
Or even what you did wrong,
You look for someone to blame.
Truth is you weren't looking for something,
Permanent.
You wanted love for the moment,
But that's ok because your not the only one,
Look around you,
It's not normal to be settled and happy with just,
One.

They lie there,
Still,
Never moving.
Nothing is said from either side,
And even though the world,
Stops,
The silence is so loud.
So many conversations are taking place,
Theirs, their peers, and so many judgements.
Questions arraise and fear sets in,
The "what if's?",
The "What to do's?",
The "Hows?" and the "Whys?"
Especially the "What will happen's?"
All fill the one room and the bed they share.
They don't stray from each other,
Because they know that now they only can depend on one another.
When the silence breaks.
The only words spoken,
"I'm sorry",
Then "I love you",
And finally "Are you going to leave me?"
So many possible options and back up plans
The tears begin and the seriousness insues.
They're both equally at fault,
Both needing more than they have.
And for some reason and no reason at all,
The love is enough.
It makes the fear and the judgements seem elementary.
Love sheds light and a whole new situation,
Not an issue but the love of a new perspective.
Family,
One of their own.
But are they ready?
No one thinks so.
Too soon, too young
Naiive and dumb.
But who are people to judge what they don't understand.
It's love not lust,
It's a whole new plan.

You never realize how fast something can change,
And in a split second
Your whole world goes up in flames
It burns every bridge you built on your own
Then all you have is third degree scortch marks
When it's all said and done you just set everything you worked for
Ablaze,

You caused your own down fall
All due to some arbitrary mistake
As hard as you try to smother the fire
Soon enough it engulfs you
You're traped with no where to go,
No emergency escape,
So how do you survive?
How do you breathe through the smoke?
You don't,
You adapt and deal, accepting your fate,
Accepting that you might die,
That you'll be reduced to ashes.

But it's the hope that the conflagration dies out first.
It's the natural desire to want to make yourself survive.
After all the hard work you put into building what you have,
It wasn't for nothing,
Just give yourself a fighting chance,
Become your own savior.
Create a phoenix inside you and rise from your demise.
Rebuild what you lost in the holocaust,
Make your mistake your new paradise.

Most importantly,
Don't ever forget that life doesn't give you anything,
You have to work for it and take what your given,
Remember that you aren't given anything that you weren't meant
to handle

Locked up tight, like i would never feel again
Terrified,
And all those selfish hands always wanting more,
So young when the pain had begun
Now forever afraid of being loved
I was left to fend on my own,
Im damaged goods and Ive made so many mistakes
that cant be undone,
What happened to the image of being strong
Was I wrong?
Was love never the book i was meant to read.
It got to where they would cut me to watch me bleed,
I was weak and it was inescapable.
And the disney movies never tell what happens after the credits roll
Maybe thats my cue to just let go.
There's only so many minutes left before i ultimately drown,
There's no other way im going down but in the same shame i began with
Let alone, with no love the way i started this
Dying, unwanted, decaying on my own,
Ive been brusied and broken ,
left used and choking
I know ill never fall again,
I cant escape this fate
My life is meant for heartache