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I stole the flowers to my own grave,
I cleaned the floor from blood and got away.

My crime is breaking hearts and being heartbroken,
the thrill of pain I seek again, provoked.

And I keep the needles in the space between my fingers where your fingers used to be.
You
You gave me a reason
to love myself a little bit
more than how I used to.
In fact it made a big impact on my confidence.
I want to open your body
find your emotions
don't let me speak
I want to close your mouth shut
you move so slow
I want to replace your bones

all of my memories with you
don't hug me to sleep anymore

I'm so unhappy
I wonder
did you ever make me happy

was I in love
or lonely
Warm sand seeps
through my toes
with every step
The ocean breeze
fresh sweet hibiscus scent
floats through the air
I almost taste coconuts & pineapple listening to the rythm of steel drums
in the distance
Without a worry in the world
far from anxiety
I sit in peace, one with the palms
my only thought is
where should I build my treehouse?
Where will I hang my hammock?
Should I wear shoes today?
Today
Is the day
To stop pretending
That you are okay
With not
Being okay

Yesterday
could have been the day
You lied your last
"I'm fine"

Tomorrow
could be the day
you actually
mean it

If you do not
Pull the weeds
In the garden
The flowers
Will never
Grow.
If you're going to
Leave my life
At lease close the door
Behind you
Because the cold winds
Still rush through the door
And linger around my home
Leaving an eerie chill
That just reminds me of you
And of course I get curious
So from time to time
I follow the footsteps
You left behind
And each time I see you
You seem
Perfectly fine...
It's just sad
That when I push people
Away
They just go
And don't even try to
Stay
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