tucked into moonlight
sisters planted in soil
she kissed you asleep

I saw the moon in February
it took me back to that
empty place
I had found in myself
Lapetus was holding my heart
tugging me further
and further
out
into the black,
into the arms of Jove
destiny was waiting for me there
or so I was told
my Valentine whispered star dust
something bright, airy
nothing I would ever want
that empty place was calling me again
in the back of my throat
an ember glowed,
Shining Father
I craved anything that might
steal away this hollow shell
what some named mortality
but there at my core,
my own Sun
my glossy solar system
I could still feel a dull pulse
lunar hands enveloping my heart
tugging me further
and further
out
into the fields of Capitoline Hill,
into the beak of a great marble Eagle
he was waiting for me there
or so I was told

too quiet
just a pair of old friends
caught up in a snowstorm
feet kicked upon the table
you tasted bitter the second time
we paused
but maybe it was just you
those dragonfly kisses
that bruise on your wrist
found its way to my mouth
we were delicate leaves
itching to make our first,
and last,
flight.
all of those November bruises
you were quite the adventure
hands reached out for laughter
you tasted bitter the second time
I paused
maybe it was just me

that night, in the gold light of the parking lot
we spoke with three different languages
it was a time of Winter words
where we could easily eliminate speech
if only we could find it in ourselves to do so
we were separated from the textures
our roots were eager to connect
but we kept to our respective sides
I was hoping to keep the letter sealed
I was hoping you would feel the same
somehow my hands stayed fixed
I wanted to know you by each breath
to count a thousand flowers in your eyes
you wondered why I kept my stare to the floor
to my hands, to my breath
there was a brief moment there,
where I was still at the top of the railing
leaning over with hands gripping tight
beneath me there were hundreds
an orchestra of human movement
each strand of hair toyed with the idea
and maybe there, just for an instant
I was one of those flowers in your eyes



*I would later admit that I missed you too

I wished that I could be a forest
growing, quietly nurturing
nothing more than a harmonized heartbeat
a shared breath, a family of sighs
I wanted to be taller than everything around me
to provide a shelter within myself
I craved for the sunlight
to only glaze the top of my hands
my forever reaching fingertips
young, bleeding roots, stretching beneath me
where I could feel myself breaking
I would laugh and sprint beyond my border
there would be no borders
I would be infinite

your mind is a map
of blue constellations
a secret language
and furrowed brows
you look past the film
with frosted eyes
one string to your being
and so back to mine
in spirit, in focus
a river of time
and one solid moment
and three blind bees
three sides to everything
lacking true substance
just a chest filled with warmth
that will feel, feel
everything

fragments of a warm Wednesday
a summer heat
little footprints in the sand
we left in your bathroom
candles burned
and all I smelled was salt
the tiny flame
that brightened your pupils
and grinned back at me
my hair was sticky
as I slipped into the covers
a sun above me
and I waited for the clouds
it smelled like love
but everything did back then