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May 2016 · 1.4k
Hellebore
Rachel Cloud May 2016
There are flowers blooming
bright and brilliant, true
pooling from the vesicles
red and violet blue

Roots ensnare the veins below
a pale and powder skin
the blush of nascent nature’s worth
where bruises might of been

A pulling scrapes the tears from eyes
pink with blossom’s bud
And lips stained dark with dreams long dashed
reek of the color blood

There’re flowers in you, child
but flesh and blood as well
tend your garden carefully
or thorns grow where you dwell
May 2016 · 479
In Resistance
Rachel Cloud May 2016
With swishing, swaying somnolence, in eve
So slow and sound, a thought begins to stir.
A battle brews beneath the throat, but breathe
Past beating baubles, under flesh and fur

Concealed by waves and waves of reticence
The sun a blot on the horizon grey
In splendor faces glow with innocence
Though silently they scream in their dismay

Away, away, away they fall to dark
And disarray while children dream alone
They dream for shattered selves of gold, and hark!
The hammer falls upon them as t’would stone

Yet broken souls shan’t glimmer bright as whole
However well the storied tales extoll.
Sonnet 01
May 2016 · 361
Celestial
Rachel Cloud May 2016
This world hums at your presence,
For like things resonate in soft, susurrate sounds while all else fades.
This world is damaged and beautiful
Beaten by the men on its surface and haunted by those long since gone
With scars and with secrets and subtleties buried
With an aching aloneness hid deeper yet, still
But so gracious and warm and eager to help.
To save.
To support.
While whole stretches of void hold it away from its kin.
These voids are safety.
Protection.
It knows what it needs, doesn’t it?
Separate and safe, blooming only for those held so close as to not lose them
But never close enough to reach its core.
Blooming with color, with life, with song
In moments, nothing but a collection of seconds, of minutes,
A bundle of time and feeling.
Regret. Fear. Sorrow.
Trust and hope.
Pirouetting around the sun.
Listen to the humming.

Listen.
An elegy to someone still alive
Oct 2015 · 333
Think what I Thought
Rachel Cloud Oct 2015
Feathered feeling flutters through
As quiet thought betrays me
Wishes and fears lay clear in a face
Who faces a farce of calmness

Calm in calamity
Careful in chaos
A fictitious facade of grace

Hear my answered question asked
And fear what I have feared

When you ask, you must forget to listen
Sep 2015 · 474
Clawing and Candor
Rachel Cloud Sep 2015
There's something a'shifting
With tooth and claw bared
Something a'hungering
Where no one has stared

A monster's a'climbing
from out of your throat
Digging deep into
you, keeping afloat

There's something a'wishing
A'wanting like mad
Alive in all living
things, risk to be had

A creature a'waiting
it's eager escape
The beast lies a'muttering
as the mouth gives it shape
truth isn't always kind
Sep 2015 · 426
Sleeves
Rachel Cloud Sep 2015
Too-long sleeves which cover the hands
and the blood to be found upon them
Thick words in the ears, a'flutter with fears
as darkness drips from the hem

Whispered secrets, shared regrets
and words to never be spoken
Life was a trifle, not meant to be stifled
as it, on the ground, lies broken

Not a secret nor word could undo the hurt
and unspill the blood that was spilled
Pull down the cloth, to cover the froth
and forget what must be forgotten
Sep 2015 · 286
Close
Rachel Cloud Sep 2015
There's a small, soft place
I keep in a space
I hide in the back of my heart

With secrets and dreams
and thoughts that I deem
Too important to see the light
Aug 2015 · 239
Night
Rachel Cloud Aug 2015
I don't mind when I can't sleep
It gives me time to remember
Apr 2015 · 485
Minstrel's Song
Rachel Cloud Apr 2015
There once was a lovely young maiden
Who had but admirers three
The first one had said
"Let me into your bed!"
And she thought
"Oh how awful you be!"

There once was a lovely young maiden
Who had but admirers three
The second one offers
"Let me into your coffers!"
"I'd ne'er let you have the key!"

There once was a lovely young maiden
Who had but admirers three
The third asked so kind
"Let me into your mind,
and I'll foster what you hold in thee."

There once was a lovely young maiden
Who loved the admirer three
Who did as he promised
and taught her in honest
but could not stay bound to she
bittersweet
Apr 2015 · 281
Anxiety
Rachel Cloud Apr 2015
crush me, crush me, crush me down

make me dust and fire
Apr 2015 · 300
Secrets
Rachel Cloud Apr 2015
Quiet. Silenced. Violent little knives of emotion too potent to speak. Build a wall of knives and stories around the strangled hopes. Feel the hilts against your back and know the blades face out, out, out to your enemies, out to those who would do you wrong. And out to those who wouldn't. Both ways. Keep one in, keep another out, let none through either side. A wall built high and close to keep you safe from pain and suffering and joy, for you are too fragile for joy. Joy might shake the mortar from the wall around you and leave you bare and leave you alone and leave you afraid. Fear makes you build walls.

But walls fall.
And walls forget what it is you built them for.

Knives are forged for fighting but these knives are far too small. Their blades are sharp and their points sting quick, but you’d never search for blood. You’re young, too young, when the first blade shows, in your wall of safety, shows its point turn in, not out, out, out, but at you and the lies you tell yourself. Pluck it from the wall, bury it deep in the soil beneath you. If anyone saw this blade, this rebellious blade turned against you, they might know the truth. Bury it where you never have to see it again and no one will ever find it.

But you only gave yourself so much room.
And knives are hard to sit on.

Pocks and dents and creases form against your soft, protected flesh. Rounded hilts and sharper hilts, hilts inlaid with gems. They press against your back, your hands, your quiet, folded features and stain your skin with shame and fear as the cold creeps nearer and closer and more violating. The ground beneath you shimmers of metal and regret and the walls grow thicker every day, closer to your soul. You hurt.

But you’re too proud of the walls you've built.
Even if they **** you.
Mar 2015 · 439
Varied Sleep
Rachel Cloud Mar 2015
Though baying, though so onerous
your dreams so sound to me
I feel their weight acutely for
to you, they are to be

A fell and silent darkness lies
between my times of wake
And you hear stories spun of silk,
a smothering to slake

Demons lie behind my eyes
if angels do with yours
But don’t begrudge me what I know
or what my nighttime stores

For demons, shadows, twisting words
bring me solace, deep
Though you feel light and glory bright
I long for different sleep
A thought on dreams
Feb 2015 · 305
Move on.
Rachel Cloud Feb 2015
A click of the clock - its 2 pm
And I've lost something dear

A drop of a pin - a second passed
Already I've forgotten
Am I moving to fast?
Feb 2015 · 270
I can't quite explain (10w)
Rachel Cloud Feb 2015
What are words
and why do they feel like dancing?
Yet they can't quite capture the feeling
Feb 2015 · 217
Now
Rachel Cloud Feb 2015
Now
Am I afraid of tomorrow?
Yes, I think I must be.

For I can hardly feel today.
I can't imagine "next year"
Feb 2015 · 590
Depression
Rachel Cloud Feb 2015
Not a cloud,
a cloud is too kind a description for the feeling.
An ocean, perhaps.
Endless.
Smothering.
Inescapable.

"Smile!" They say.
"And happiness will come with it!"

That's how they show they care.

If only they wouldn't lie.
There will always be days when smiling could never be enough.
Jan 2015 · 362
The End.
Rachel Cloud Jan 2015
The story is finished
the loose ends have been tied
all the words are sorted
we barely even lied

It's time now to move on
as all good stories do
even if it means
losing me or losing you
I finished writing my novel recently. I'm a little sad about it.
Jan 2015 · 780
Femme
Rachel Cloud Jan 2015
She was soft and filled of fire
with the strength of oceans
behind her eyes
Jan 2015 · 354
Can't we?
Rachel Cloud Jan 2015
We can't hold on to one part of ourselves
while denying another
Can we?
Jan 2015 · 384
Of the Softness
Rachel Cloud Jan 2015
To dawn, a dusk. To light, a dark. Not pure, not opposite, but soft. Understanding.
Ice coated the blades of the grass with a delicate sheen of fracturing cold. It spoke of death to the flowers, to the seeds, to the world, but it was just as young. The ice was crystals and sharpness to the grass, but the ice was ignorant and early and would do no harm, in the end.
For the grass was stronger than it looked, though it too was young. It was bullied and beaten and stepped on and broken, but it grew straight and silent, struggling alone. Though it was always surrounded by those who might understand, it stayed singular.

The ground was often cruel, but it could be beautiful, and the grass often saw these beautiful moment near the ground.
Little things.
Small things.
Things no one expected to see near dirt and filth and pestilence.
But things were the same everywhere, weren't they?
The grass saw love. The grass saw life, from beginning to end, just as soon and fast and slow as it happened. Over and over and over again.
Though there were bad times, too. Unfair. Unwanted. Unnecessary. Ice would come early as it had then, but stronger, and more furious. There would be pain. There would be fear. But try as it might, Winter could never silence the beauty for very long.

And the grass stayed on. For it was all the grass knew. For those small, important moments of beauty it saw between the shadows. For the sun, for the moon, for the stars in the sky.

The grass stayed on. For the grass hated.

And the grass loved.
for a friend. More of a short story.
Jan 2015 · 292
us two, together
Rachel Cloud Jan 2015
i pull my heart out
you pull yours
together, us two
face locked doors

the pride and hate
we each held dear
must fire burn
with such dark fear?

the key is trapped
within us both
though the fire
shows such growth

we two are one
the same in end
the schism torn
needs time to mend

So lay down blade
and hidden hand
for we must heal
this poisoned land

Pull your heart out
i'll pull mine
now each, us two
let us align
an exploration of understanding
Jan 2015 · 269
Dissimilar Same
Rachel Cloud Jan 2015
I am meant to feel.
I know this as true.

Yet, all the feeling I once felt is through.
Jan 2015 · 588
Roses
Rachel Cloud Jan 2015
Why are we meant to look through
Rose-colored glasses

When roses are the color
of blood
Jan 2015 · 408
Doubt
Rachel Cloud Jan 2015
What was true? What was false? Had he ever had a pulse?
Was he real? Was he not? Would he even be distraught?
Dec 2014 · 335
Lament, the Spider
Rachel Cloud Dec 2014
I am blind
I cannot see
What I thought
seems not to be

Ice is rarely clear as water
It is merely winter's daughter
What is now, has always been
See the filth trapped deep within

The taint rings true with truth construed
With scream and fight in fear of light
It stains, not fades, a life in suedes
On no one lone does this depend

And all alone, it will not end
novel
Dec 2014 · 344
Grief, the Spider
Rachel Cloud Dec 2014
Leave me here
or leave me there
it’s not that I
have thoughts to spare

It’s flames that I must
stoke and catch
I haven’t strengths yet
left to stretch

My eyes grow weary,
weak, and vile
for only I
will hold this trial

It’s my own fault
as I grow blind
how not a comfort
could I find

Please, wish me well
or wish me wrong
I always lose my words,
my song

I never meant for
this to die,
I only wish to see
the sky
from novel
Nov 2014 · 284
why continue?
Rachel Cloud Nov 2014
run, run
one, two, three
is this not insanity?
again and again
isn't it strange?
how each time you
expect a change?
you're only going in circles.
Nov 2014 · 632
Curtains
Rachel Cloud Nov 2014
Bars can't silence the voice in a throat
As night can't **** off the dawn
Wishing can never be smothered or choked
Even when losing the song

And though ice slows the dream in mind
And memory blurs the path
Lyrics, music, all flow in kind
Each bird forgets the world's wrath
Oct 2014 · 240
Tell
Rachel Cloud Oct 2014
Secrets are lies
We tell ourselves
Oct 2014 · 503
Whisper Winds
Rachel Cloud Oct 2014
And in the winter months,

the sky,
grey with clouds
and smog

tears well in the eyes
of the children of dust.


For the sun has forsaken us
Deep thoughts in cursive
Oct 2014 · 352
Snowing
Rachel Cloud Oct 2014
The crystal shimmers distract one’s self,
from what lies in front of thee.
And lonely creeps up close to heart,
when it thinks you do not see.
from novel
Oct 2014 · 321
Have Your Story
Rachel Cloud Oct 2014
For there is an antagonist in everyone
but don't hold out hope for a hero
Oct 2014 · 476
What was left
Rachel Cloud Oct 2014
How does the mountain thank the breeze?
How does the ocean sway,
A changed direction switched to thee
A wave who could not stay

Two mere creatures of the dust,
And one, by far, the better
Deep below the world's thick crust
With dreams matched to the letter

The icy breeze may hold the truth
Which one, unwisely, held
The other, so,  had thought, 'forsooth!'
The one, too far, compelled

A ring, a wrap, of roses neat
All thorns and vines and taint
Around, around, to near defeat
One never was a saint

And so one leaves with fear and hate
After layers of mistake
Some will think it comes too late
The other one might break

But this was not to spite from one
And not in fault of thee
Nor in rashness, careless done
Mayhap one day you'll see

How in this truth, so taught by act
The withering may start
The found are far more lost, in fact
Without a place in heart

And so one says goodbye at last
To her friend, the other
Though space between their lives is vast
They'll meet in yet another
Oct 2014 · 370
Think about it
Rachel Cloud Oct 2014
The bad die young too

there's just no one
to miss them
hmm...
Oct 2014 · 292
The Moral In the End
Rachel Cloud Oct 2014
We are all just a patchwork
of the things we want,
those which we deny ourselves,
and the *monsters* we’ve been.
I discovered the meaning of my novel today
Sep 2014 · 1.3k
Scarves
Rachel Cloud Sep 2014
one, two
knit the tears
into something warm

dull the fingers
fight the fears
work, distract the mind

loop and loop
around, around
until the fabric, formed

lose the heart
with numb, abound
another scarf to find
I make scarves when I'm sad ~ right now I'm all out of yarn
Sep 2014 · 548
Written Words
Rachel Cloud Sep 2014
Half are for me
Half are for you
Half for the voice
In my stories too

A few for the cardinals,
The swallows and doves
A dash for the stones,
The moss and the bluffs

If you listen real close
There's one for the land
Of beauty and splendor
And Nature's wise hand

But try to ignore it
And try if I can
To block out my words
For dear, murderous man
Sep 2014 · 286
Thanks
Rachel Cloud Sep 2014
I don't feel betrayed,
if that's what you think
or embarrassed at all
no, I don't want that drink

you can't bribe me with water
can't make me forget
who would I tell?
you're not in my debt

so thanks for the fun,
seeing how close you have grown
thank you for reminding me
how much I'm alone
Not that you asked.
You can just keep on pretending
it never happened.

So really, thanks for helping me forget
for a day,
but I want you to know it's your fault this time
that I need to buy more yarn.
Sep 2014 · 245
Well
Rachel Cloud Sep 2014
actually, no.
you don't understand why I'm upset
Not that you asked.
Sep 2014 · 367
A little lost time
Rachel Cloud Sep 2014
something snapped between them
between us all
in the way that a single thread
snaps in a cloth
subtle and
unimportant in itself

then it started to unravel between them
between each of us
and the very worst part of the whole
messy piece,
is how little any of mattered to me

so watch them bicker
watch them talk
each trying to make amends
in their own way

but neither of them know
what they're making amends for
all we know
is something has broken
Sep 2014 · 316
Void
Rachel Cloud Sep 2014
Why should anyone die alone?

How could anyone die together?
Sep 2014 · 250
How is Death?
Rachel Cloud Sep 2014
For without this sun,
How could any survive this life?
10 words
Sep 2014 · 488
A Shard
Rachel Cloud Sep 2014
And the world fell in around him -
infinite shards raining down
leaving garish wounds of red blood
and
bone
and
thick masses of being
neither him
nor not him.

He was alone.
Sep 2014 · 579
Look to the Trees
Rachel Cloud Sep 2014
Who do you admire, child?

I admire the trees.

The trees are a* what not a who, my dear.

That's only what you see...

I see the strength
Of the wood through the sorrow
Of the storm, how it rips them apart

I see them give
What the creatures would borrow,
While pain is all that's returned.

I see them cry
From the young man's knife,
Tears for the love it has learned

I see them fade
At the end of their life
As winter seeds ice in their heart

The trees soldier on, and the trees do endure, though life beats on for its way

They lose bits of themselves, and yet they march on

Ever in the light of day.
Funny, how trees live on as they lose limbs and bark and everything that makes them what they are - they grow stronger, and they move on.
Aug 2014 · 566
A Mockery of He
Rachel Cloud Aug 2014
A single star in a pool of black
Who’d ever think they’d need such slack?
Another word, another song
Truly life is not so long

Hear them whisper, hear them yell
Each word, another one they sell
Isn’t it funny, quite absurd?
That anyone could miss a bird

Sing song, sing song, sing song, sing
Who’d imagine such a thing
A madman, dreams of stars and brides
a man with nothing that he prides
from a novel
Aug 2014 · 452
Dispair or Disrepair
Rachel Cloud Aug 2014
Am I lost or broken?
To be fixed or be forgotten?
Perhaps it's just the same to me,
My mind was misbegotten

Is the ice outside or in?
Has the rot seeped through?
Is my heart shattered or bruised?
Is it all the same to you?

Leave me here or leave me there
One way or another
Whisper quiet in your ear
"You always did so smother."
Aug 2014 · 286
Monster
Rachel Cloud Aug 2014
I'm not afraid
Of the monsters in the dark
I know what they want
And I know how to feel

Oh no,

I'm far more afraid
Of the ones in the sunlight
With their flowers
And chocolate
And secret, sheathed claws

Because I don't understand them
Or what they want
Or how I should think

Remember that
When you ask
Why I'm so
A
    L
       O
           N
               E
Rachel Cloud Jul 2014
Tick tock, tick tock. When do spirits break?

Spirits break when truths are false

But how long does madness take?

Madness takes ‘till death has pulse

Till death has pulse?
Oh, good, oh grand,
like a click, like a clock,
like the hourglass sand

Like the horse, and the house, like the hound, and the hand
A bite out of you and a bite from the land
A snigger a smack
A serpent’s attack
With wreath and wrath
To each their own path

With a flutter of wings
And nobody sings
With wings or without
One’s heart must be stout

Hear me now, now hear me then
Look back, look back, back where you’ve been
With wings, without, watch where you tread
Or soon, so soon, you will be *dead
Part of a novel.
Jul 2014 · 329
Time to...
Rachel Cloud Jul 2014
Tick tock, tick tock...
My life is slipping away
Minute by minute, bit by bit…
I wish it’d stop and stay
Can’t hear the clock anymore…
Still the day goes on
Thought it’d end, thought it’d quit…
*I’ve always been such a pawn
A poem within a poem?
Jul 2014 · 977
Trusted
Rachel Cloud Jul 2014
Mother Goose, Mother Goose,
Father Gander
Watch them, watch them, watch them squirm,
Fighting off the slander

Not a gown, and not a cape
Can hide their shameful faults
Corset, tie, nor cane in hand,
Not even Gravesmen’s vaults

Secrets, gossip from once-friends
Spread amongst their loved ones
Thrown like seeds in farmer’s field
Even God does them shun

Mother Goose, Mother goose,
Father Gander
Even though they were so close
Everyone lacks candor
think of it like a child's song
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