Was it love?
That shot us into thin air making our insides burn
Like the universe was punishing us
And setting fire to our heart?
Was it lust?
That turned us into the dust that collects on your bedside shelf
That your mother nags you to clean?
Was it love?
That made us break into abandoned buildings at 4 a.m and see flashing lights outside the broken glass windows
Then racing into the trees with racing hearts that could barely breathe?
Was it lust?
That pushed us into this nothingness but disire and we craved every part of one another until there was no space left between us?
Was it love.
Or
Was it lust.

Life is only temporary
Not everlasting
It all ends
There is no forever
It is questionable
Wether there will be a tomorrow
So hold onto what you've got
Cause promises dont last
And everything is left unsaid

I am constantly tearing apart my insides to search for any sign of life that is still left breathing

Cigarette after cigarette,
Somehow i still can't get your taste
Out of my mouth
Nicotine should burn
But now its medicine
For your lingering name
Printed across my teeth
Now instead of your mouth pressed
Against mine
The only thing that touches my lips
Is this cigarette
Each exhale riding your face
From my burning lungs

When did it stop? Did you stop loving me when I couldn't speak cause my throat was so tight from screaming in my dreams? Did you stop caring when I threw the sheets over my head because I didnt want you to see me crying? Did you stop loving me when I talked about my past and my future? Did you'd wish I'd just shut up? Did you still love me when you held my head in your hands and kissed my forehead and said "this love will never end"? Did you still love me when you showed up with messy hair and flowers in your hand? What about that time we walked through the park with our fingers intertwined and you said "although the sky is grey, the color in your mind colors the whole sky"? When did you stop loving me? When I couldn't get out of bed in the morning because love just wasn't enough strength to keep going? Was it when you left for a vacation with your parents cause they wanted you to think about your future? Was it because maybe I wasn't apart of that future? You said till the end. I didnt know that the end was a month ago, I thought the end was when I was dead. But now im barely breathing, so I might as well just be on my death bed. When did it stop?

Im staring at the moon
And I know its you
Im looking upon the stars
And I know thats where you are
The twilight sky
Reminds me of your simple eyes
The darkness around me
Is your presence guiding me
As I graze out into the land
I know your providing me a helping hand
Underneath this tree
Is where you told me to meet you at three (a.m)
That was the last night I saw you
And I know I will meet you again soon
Its these nights I miss you most
When I feel so abandoned and lost
You used to give me direction
But now I am constantly losing all affection
I see you in my dreams
Its not as easy as it seems
My dreams turned into nightmares
But I cherish the only moment I see you
Standing ghostly in the darkest night
I know its you