I can't sit around and wait  for you too call.....
Not getting any younger and wrinkles are a downfall-

Well today I finally have something to do....


I only wish it involved you!!!

I don't know what to do to get you to see
That you mean the world to me..

I don't know anymore what I can do
To show you I'm sorry and that forever I want to love you!!!!

I want to lick you and taste you all nite long.

I bet you taste good.....I know you do.....

Ive licked you before...

I want to be your very best friend and always hold your secrets
especially with the way we like to play....

I want to know all about you every deep dark secret you hold....
leaving out anything with others .....all that doesn't need to be told...

I want to show you how much I love you and will show you each and every day......
Please come get ahold of me soon so I know you feel the same way...

I want to treat u like a king *** ur my knight in shinning armor~

I want us to get our happily ever after!!!!

I want all your brains and your dark side too~

I want everything there is to love about you!!!

What a woman says to her lover should be written in the winds or on the water~

Catullus

Jupiter himself cannot separate two lovers against their own will !~

Plautus

When lovers get angry their love revives~

Terence

To love a thing means wanting it to live! ~

Confucius

closeness without conflict exists only in the cemetery! ~

Matti j. Kuronen

It really kills me that you hate me so much...
All I want is to talk to you....
Is that so hard to do????



If you did just think of how happy you make me....
( But  you don't care, and that's why)

I really care and want to give u my all....
Please let me show u ..and I promise you ....
You'll have the best love off all!!

Please talk to me and be my friend,
I will do any thing if this can happen (again!!!)
You mean every thing to me and I will show you how much you mean until our days end!!!!

Your the one who lights up my sky
Your the one who I want as my only guy!!!
Your love is all I desire and what I yearn for....
Not some other who will probably be some bore!!!
Your the one who makes my knees quake...
Being with you , makes my soul ache !!!!
Reason being ....I want you all of the time!!!
I need you back in my life....
Then life will be fine!!!

The reason I even know him at all is *** I thought he was you!!
You always pretending to be people and talking to me like you do....
If you didn't do that and always pretend to be someone else and just be you and chat with me-
Then it wouldn't have gone on and lasted so long.
But when you pretend to be others all the time..
I figured you were actually he!!!!

I want only you and deep in your heart you know this is true!!!
Id NEVER look another guy in the face of I had yours to each night finger trace!!!
You are the one who makes my heart pound with a simple thought of you...
No other on earth makes me feel like you do!!!!

He is sweet and makes me feel a little better...
I'd rather have some conversation then the little bit you give me on here.....

Again it's you who I want and thought that you were he!!!!
So you can't think I don't want you and that we aren't meant to be!!!!!

I don't think I want to meet him...
im only going to compare him to you and we both know ....
he WONT win...
So I doubt this weekend will be any fun like all of them before...
unless I get  really ***** and need  to have some and then not  talk to him anymore.....

but I don't think I will *** I only want you...
so please come talk to me so I know what I should do....

I wanted to have forever and share it with only you!!!

I wanted us to have happily ever after and I thought you did too...

We used to come up with ideas about things like the perfect 1st date.... Id think of the idea and set the scene and youd tell the rest of the story and make the ending beyond great!!!

That's what got me to really have a deep desire to at the very least be able to meet you.....
with your way with words...you put a spell on my but im sure you intended to....

I looked forward to our very long talks that we had at least once a day... you made me smile and it made me a lot happier then how I was living day to day!!!

I really loved spending time online that summer each day with you....
I just never thought in my wildest dreams that I would ever meet you...

The stories wed make up and you always ended them so very sweet... got me all ga-ga over you and the flames for that love has yet to loose its heat...

I really wish we could see each other for just one more day.....
to be able to talk and say the things we never had got to say.....

I just wish so very much that maybe someday down the line.....
again I will be able to feel your touch.....
*** in my heart your always going to be mine.

why is the world getting so bad???
I wish we still had a president like Ronald Regan.....
*** in my lifetime he was the best president that we've had!!

people are greedy , dishonest ,  neglectful , and just really mean!!
why cant everyone just be giving , honest , caring , and live serene??

People are selfish , lie , use and cheat!!!!
What do you think god will think once you've had the chance to meet??

Im going to do all I can to help others and live the best that I can!!
*** when I do meet my maker, I want him to say that in the end I turned into a decient woman!

im not saying that you should do this too!
But would it really hurt if you did good in life and help others instead of always only thinking only about YOU??

He is so very smart for such a young man.....
Always saying a kind word to me whenever he can..
Always a sweet text almost each day when I awake....
Reminds me of the things you did for me.....I wonder if it was real or just REAL FAKE!!!
I enjoy talking to him cuz I am always alone.....
Wanting you back but you you erased my number from your phone.
He can't replace you not that he tries.......
He just enjoys talking to me and in silence my heart silently cries.

Why can't we still be friends and and at the very least  talk sometimes.
You promised to always be here for me come rain or shine, it's not like someone committed any crime.
I will never give up and never give in.....you are the only one I want .......my ultimate sin.
I have never felt these feelings that I have felt for u. Even though u deny it , I know what I say is true.
I hope you will soon come back and again be my friend.....
It was you who said you'd be in my life until life's end.

its you who I want! I don't want him!!
its you who holds my heart~
but u deny what you feel from with in.

You said youd always be here as my friend and whenever id need you.....
youd be right there...

well when is this gonna start *** im a few months on back log and need someone to talk to.....

Your my only choice and id like to speak to you..
Why cant you keep your word.....that's really all I ask for you to do....
I really  miss you and want you back in my life ......if I cant physically hold you....
then this will have to do....
id rather have the tiny bit of chit chat that we have instead of having nothing from you..

Its just not fair.......
*** I wasn't aware of all that is to know....
and I want to do it over *** I love you so....
but ur afraid of whatever fear that binds your actions....
so I guess  I will forever yearn and ache for your touch,

In two weeks it'll be 4yrs...thinking about that makes my eyes bleed tears....
If I could only get you to understand and really see....that the person I was before wasn't the real me...
As I said it before and I swear it to be true... that I jjust  thought you were some random guy who was cheating on his girl like a lot of men do.,,

If youd said the facts of what now are known to be.... then you would have gotten the real and true person of which I want you to see.....
I never knew that you were YOU....
So I didn't think of it as anything meant to be and I for sure didn't think that you wanted any of the love I may have had for thee....

If id known that you were YOU....I would have been real....honest, loving, and so very true.....
I even told you that I had love in my heart but my true love was the one who held the key...
little did I know that you were HE!!

I knew back then 4 yrs ago that I loved you with passion, unconditional and that our love would only beautifully grow.

As for now I just cant let you go...and deep down I think you feel the same but for what ever reason are in fear to let it show...

There is something deep within you and me.....
We've searched for a life time or so it seems to me
But I truly feel that deep in my heart we are meant to be..
Please stop fighting what destined to be and let your love flow free.

I did love you but didn't see it for being very real...and surely I didn't think you cared for the way I really feel...
I just thought you wanted your cake and to eat it too....
like so many men these day always do..

If you'd been straight up with me we could have have loved above the realms of reality...
I need the chance so you can see the actual person I have grown to be...
I need this to happen and for it to take place *** my heart wants no other and no other can ever take your place.
You cant even compare you to any other.....
I only want you as my one and only lover..

I don't want , hope or nor will I pray....this  I need and my heart and soul know that there is no other way..

To heal or repair my mind In any way/..... I need this to happen and after that let the chips fall where they may...

Im not asking but its more of do or die......I need to prove to you that I want you as my guy...

I want to love you with all of my heart
and it would have been that way if id known all the facts from the very start...

We both did things that could have done right..... but that doesn't matter know...
I just want to hold you when I sleep each night...

I want to love you like no other has ever done.....
and every day show you why I love you and why your my #1

Cant you see how very special you are to me?
It wasn't fair how it all went down before....
and I want to start over and love you forever more..

There has to be a reason for why I feel this way.....
and if after we meet if you don't want me then I will sadly walk away...
then never again will you see or read a word from me....but if you hate me so much isn't that how ud like it to be???

So can you please grant me this one last wish ...
so we can either let it grow or put an end to all this...

So YEA....in 2 weeks = 4 yrs ,
again thinking about it makes my eyes well with tears.

since we've been apart Ive had time to think~
a lot of the **** that took place really did stink~

but then there was just as many if not more good things too~
I hope one day to make amends with you!

until that day I will continue to learn and to grow~
so if that day does come.....my love you will sure see, feel, and it'll show!!

my soul aches for yours~
my heart misses feeling your heart beat as our bodies are pressed tightly together~
your everything I have ever wanted and more~
I hope u give me the chance to prove my words are pure and true~
and I will be all the things that you wanted me too!

every day your on my mind~
I just hope I will be able to touch and hold you again too~
(one day ....and soon!!)

face to face we always got along~
it was always my over thinking that made everything wrong!

I promise when apart to not sit and dwell~
id just be grateful to be able to talk and touch you since in love with you I seem to have fell~!!!!!!

I want to be the one who makes you always smile~

it will only seem awkward at first just for a little while!!

I really do love you with all of my heart~
and...

cant stop loving you.....
and I wish we weren't so far apart!!