I thought of you today and felt resentment.
Rather than pretend like everything was okay,
I let myself feel pain for being abandoned.
Because I opened my mental cabinet and let you rummage around.
I left it open after you left, believing that you might want to come back to it later.

But you never came back.

And you left everything a mess.

The contents of the drawer started falling out, and I was left alone to pick it all up.
Items shattered on the floor and I cut my hands trying to pick them up.

I wish I didn't let you in

I held the pain in for too long again
I meant to let some of it out
But the tears started and wouldn't stop
Until I emptied myself of everything I had.

I couldn't tell you when I fell in that spiral
I can't even remember when I wasn't in it.

All of it is just a reminder of pain
Every person that walks by
Every laugh I hear
Every smile I see.

It just reminds me that I'm spiralling.

And now I just feel dizzy.

You never realize how happy you are
until you can walk through a park,
a smile on your face, not a single worry.

You actually notice how nice the weather is.
The sunlight on the grass.
The child beating his son at badminton.
All the people just enjoying the day.
And you're one of them.

I feel as if I'm just going in circles
Where I'm constantly switching from
Happy to Sad
Then from Sad to Happy
And then it keeps going.

I can't do it today.
Probably not tomorrow either.

I sit here, thinking of word to write
Metaphors that I can use
to finally write a good poem.

But nothing comes to mind.

So I'll try again tomorrow.
Or the next day.
Just to see if I'll come up with something better.