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Jazmine Dec 2019
My small tug boat in the ocean
It’s raining, the wind is roaring
It’s dark the moons light barely shining through

Then I see it
The wave
Taller than any building
And it’s growing
This black beast

The fear of this wave should be crippling
But I know this wave

As it swallows me whole
I fight
I fight and fight
I know to give in would only pull me deeper into the ocean

I have no choice
I WILL not drown today
Jazmine Dec 2019
If I could borrow your eyes
Only for a few minutes

If I could see this so called beauty
This strength
This poise you claim I carry

If I could only see what you see
Maybe I could love me
Jazmine Nov 2019
He held a knife to my stomach as he choked me threatening me for reasons I do not remember

He would punch me where my kidneys are so the Johns would not see bruising.

He woke me up by dragging me from the bed by my hair to an ice cold tub and held my head there

He punched me so hard I fell to the floor and held a gun to my head while his boot was weighing my neck down

I was kicked repeatedly in the stomach because my period was late and too soon to tell if I was pregnant

He choked me until I would go unconscious wake me up to choke me again

He locked me out of the house in his back yard in the freezing weather with no coat or shoes to sleep with the dogs

He held a knife to my throat many times I can now remember

He tasered us in a line

He would force us to watch him beat the other girls

He rented me to a **** worse than him for a week

The old white man in the country side loved putting extensively large ****** in me

He dragged me down the stairs by my hair and threw me outside when I told him I was sore from the old white man and was bleeding

He would tell me I’m ugly,

He would say I will never be anything more than my *****

He would tell me I’m stupid

He would tell me stripping and ******* is all I can do in life

He told me no one could ever love a ***** Except him he was the only one who could love any of us

He forced me to hurt Candy for buying food with the money she made

He didn’t let me eat for 3 days

He locked me in the closet with the pad lock for a day, I was forced to *** myself.. he opened it and beat me for peeing myself

It was all my fault some how

The Salvation Army Bells.. he left me in the cold to walk home it was a 2 hour walk in the cold
As a human trafficking survivor as a child. I some how managed to block ALL of these memories for 10years... until yesterday, they came back like a flood and wouldn’t stop so I began to write them.. I still don’t have the courage to share with anyone but this page, as with my poetry.
Jazmine Nov 2019
Would you truly like to see inside my soul
It’s desolate and dark
Jazmine Nov 2019
“Do you love me?”
You ask as if I know

You ask someone so damaged as myself
I could only know love if it was a bottle of alcohol on the shelf

Since being with you I drink more
I drink so the feelings I have I can ignore

These feelings are dangerous

I am destroyed from within
A mirror shattered and broken
Unable to make a figure of a person

So you ask again

I think so I’m not to sure
But to let you know would be torture

You would know your power
You would try to control
Or maybe you wouldn’t..
well who really knows

Soon this will end with a finale
Soon there will be smoke and lights
And I will be gone out of your sight

I run from men like you
I fear men like you

I am afraid because I think I love you
Jazmine Nov 2019
You make me cry
You make me want to scream

I hate you
I truly do

I crave you
I want you

This is why I hate you

You make me feel lovable
You make me want to be better

This is why I hate you

I find myself wanting to open up and share what’s within my soul to you

I hate you

Your gaze strips me bare
This is why I cannot stare

I hate you

You make me want to kiss you
And say

I love you
Jazmine Nov 2019
In the throws of passion
He has complete control of me

When his hand glides against my skin
My body screams for him

When he looks into my eyes
My soul comes alive

He knows the power he holds
I begin to unfold

I fall prey to his kiss
Every heartbeat and breath I miss
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