Kat: Poems

Kat Dec 2015

you are a nightmare come to life;
you are a wish unfulfilled.
you are the multitude of daydreams
running
through my mind
scenarios that will never happen,
scenarios that will only ever exist
in my imagination.

do you feel the same way i do?
it is a question
that taunts me every night.
as i lay my head to sleep,
i can't help but think of
your 'i love you's and 'i miss you's and
my mind plays the melody that is your voice
on repeat as my eyes close and i start to drift
into nothingness.

you never fail to sweep me off my feet.
you never fail to make my head spin.
you never fail to make my heart skip a beat.
you never fail to make me cry into my pillow every night,
thinking about how there will
never
be an "us".

do you feel the same way i do?
do you get the same feeling i do?
when your hear your heart pounding in your ears,
like an incessant little drummer boy?
when your hands shake and you feel your
entire being vibrate;
do you get this horrible feeling too?

#love #unrequited #hoping #pining

battle scars

Kat Nov 2015

battle scars

let me show you my battle scars;
they form on the insides of my wrists
and the dark corners of my mind.

let me show you my pain;
how tired i am from the taunts in my head
and the oh so many
voices.

let me tell you how they came to be;
how i lay
bloodied and
bruised and
broken, hanging limp and injured
after a ferocious battle with
none other than
myself

let me show you my battle scars
in the hopes that you'll heal them;
and if not, then,
learn to love them
for these are reminders that are
permanently marked on the wide expanse of my skin.
reminders of my resilience
and the life I am learning to leave
behind.

#harm #sadness #hurt #melancholy #letting-go

explorers

Kat Apr 2016

explorers

We are lying together, entwined
As you tell me about that one time
You fell in love with an explorer.

You tell me about how you both lay side by side,
And with eyes wide, she pointed out to you her favorite constellations
As you marked your favorite constellations of freckles
On the wide expanse of her skin.

You tell me about the mountains you have traversed together;
You tell me your relationship was an uphill battle every step of the way-
But with hope for the future,
You endured.

And then one day,
She got tired of the constant uphill battle.
She got tired of waiting for shooting stars;
She got tired of you.

From then on, your heart was filled with hatred for
adrenaline junkies and explorers.

But love,
You, yourself, are an explorer
With huge hopes and dreams
And your heart on your sleeve.

I can see it in the way your eyes sparkle
Whenever there is a hint of adventure;
In the way you give your heart out freely,
Wishing that one of the places you yearn to settle down in
Accepts you with open arms.

(I still pray for the day
When you'll wish to settle here.

But for the time being,
I shall patiently wait for your arrival.)

#love #adventure #crush #waiting #pining #exploration #explorers #semi-unrequited

exspectata domus

Kat Dec 2015

exspectata domus

there is a sense of home
whenever i am in your arms;
there is a sense of
warmth
belonging
and happiness
whenever you hold me close
as i fall asleep to the beat of your heart

#love #home

shriveling

Kat Nov 2015

shriveling

whatever I say wouldn’t be enough to describe the feeling of being with you
of the butterflies in my stomach and the flowers that have bloomed all over my body---
for once in my life, you made me feel pretty.
but all that’s left is a corpse surrounded by flies and handfuls of wilted lilies.

#melancholy

— The End —