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There is a well
I cannot see its depth
I can only guess
There is a well from which everything
I do drinks
There is a place where all gets fed

I am stuck here again
I have to swim the tide if I want to get back there
to my home
on the shore

Feels like I'm at loss with words
I can barely weave my heart
or take any control
although I do try to get back home
I call home your arms

Everything has a hidden bitter sip
Nothing is what it seems inside of me

Things are so rotten but still they shine a light
Things are a chaos I try to sum up when I write

There is a well
but I have nothing else
so I better get to it
Nothing makes sense
My emotions
they are the crux
they are the compass I need
but a little breeze
can **** up the thing
and I just begin to drift

And I don't reason anymore
I just feel things to the core
I just become my heart

My emotions
they seize me
I can't just get rid
I really would not want it
they hold all the power
they make me lose it too
but without them what would I do?

I feel the heat
I feel it all
and I can also freeze
Tearing me down, building me up
My emotions drink
from a well I do not know too much
I just get caught
They are my daily grind
my daily ray of light

They drive me mad and they are my sane half
How to put up with such a way of life
I know the heaven of those who die for love
vicariously, although sometimes I just know
I want to be there
Sad place to be in, but pretty in a way
To die at the hands of something you long for

The heaven of those who die for love
in my thoughts
A place to die, to give up
Don't expect me there

The heaven of those who die for love
is held too high
Because the light never leads astray
If you can only salvage love with death
run away

The heaven of those who die for love
is it real? is it wrong?
Love has that hue, I know it's true
To feel all sold and tied to one - all for you
But real love - makes you bloom
These blackened flowers sprinkled with tears
do not!
They wither
like me

Do not hold dearly to the loss of blood
love the blood though
I'm tongue tied and hand tied
I was warned this morning
"You went too quick, too far"
A rainfall on me that doesn't wash up

Can you hold me now I'm down?
I'm bitter, bitter to the core
Can I hold on to you?

The last time I was in ****
it was a long time ago
I just can't put up with it anymore
I have to rip this out from my soul
I have to recover my own
Tear it off from me
whatever it is

I just want to be with you
will I ever allow myself that

I'm happily unhappy
I cannot take the smile from my face
although my soul is corroding
I am falling down

I have a pain in my chest
I do not know what it is
I know you make me feel alive
and therefore the wound hurts

Last time I was in ****
I remember well
I cannot go back in my steps
How easy writing poems
How hard to live through them
I love you to death
Into your hand - I melt
I am like sweet buttercream
to your kiss

It hurts, it hurts, it does
being with you but
I think it's myself instead
My insecurities pile, they take it away
Bitter candy today

Why do I rush to the saddest songs I know?
Why do I want to cry - but so happy at your side
Why do I get so uptight - knowing we are right?

I know I get so tiring
even to my own ears!
Can you chew this bitter cupcake
Can you take all I am including what makes me undone
The knife has some blood
the cupcake has a heart!

And I look back
and everything's fine
I will learn the heartbeat
to life and dance steadily to it
We were
amoebas
but we grew
and therefore
our bond was lost

We were underdeveloped life forms
yet being so consistenly formed
in our dreams and hopes
we were just waiting at the crossroads
for someone to pick us up

We were the beginning of life
back then
Embryonic state
everything to gain

and we have been picked up
I thank God - we could not stay there for long
even if now there is a threat of drought
all over my heart
do you get those? do you?
the saddest part of it all
a link is gone
we are flickering like a dying light
but hey, this is life
and it's not like we were empty now
If I die will you still be with me?
I really don't wish to be
But the grey is coming back at me

All my fluency - lost
All I've gained - somehow gone
How to stop

Blanked out by the grey
but I need to focus on the bright
how to do that

I guess the solution might be easy
but anyway I miss it
I miss its warmth
But we are not nearly gone at all

But we'll learn, we'll walk
and our love will grow
I hope
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