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rom Dec 2017
Hindi ako mahal.
Hindi ako ang mahal.

Isang salita lang ang dumagdag ngunit parang isang katutak na patalim ang pinukol sa aking puso
Pigang piga sa paulit-ulit na pananaksak, pagsasawalang bahala
Hanggang sa maging abo nalang ang dating apoy na nagbabaga
at ang mga dating "Tama na," "Ilan pa ba," ay nagiging "Sino ba siya?"

Sa paulit-ulit na pagwasak sa puso kong dati nang durog,
at sa ating mga pagsasama kung saan ang kanyang pangalan ang tanging tunog
Walang tigil ang hangin sa pag-duyan ng isang paumanhin
sa pag-ihip papunta sa puso kong kapos ng iyong pag-tingin —

Mahal, huwag kang humingi ng tawad
dahil hindi lang ikaw ang nagwasak sa akin
Huwag na huwag kang humingi ng tawad
dahil lang siya ang iyong iniibig
Huwag ka nang humingi ng tawad
dahil lang hindi mo ako kayang mahalin.
Originally written last November 27, 2017 for a visual poem.
rom Oct 2017
today, the clouds are crying in rage
i observe the embankment where grey water is flowing over
consuming the city with its anger
and i watch this all unfold (water begins to touch my feet)
but i do not worry about you:
i have no need to do so.

your clouds never seethe
the endless stretch of land and sky between us agree
you exist in a place where Babylon never existed –
but instead of seeking the heavens
i remember beating the earth until the soil bathed in blood;
i begged for it to let you go
(who enjoys a place free of sores?)
but as water seeps through the cracks of my home
touching the furniture you once touched
destroying my abode like you did with your absence
and people fleeing, leaving houses;
i am in awe of you:
how does one retain their wit even in death?

you escaped the worst.
part 1/? of A Tribute Series
rom Oct 2017
i'm surrounded by air but i still can't breathe
i'm laughing but all i hear is its faint echo
i'm with people but i've never felt so alone
i'm holding a smile but i've already stopped smiling long ago

a choked sob threatens to escape me
but i hold it down; i swallow it whole
only this good side of me should they see
this good side of me that's slowly slipping from my grasp –
this side of me that's nothing but a trap.
rom Sep 2017
if i said i love you
would it fall again on ears that pretend not to hear
if i said i love you
would it have been better for me not to have said it at all
if i said i love you
would you sigh again and think, "i know."
if i said i love you
would you wish for me to stop saying it
so you can stop pretending you don't hear it anymore?

but if i add another letter
which we both know would make it a lie
would that have been better for you,
for me,
for us;
would you finally hear
what i've been trying to tell you all these years?

then, i say: i loved you.
rom Sep 2017
a warning comes from the flashing screen
and the window shakes as the lightning crashes
it remains intact.
the hurricane continues to whip up debris
now tearing down homes
tearing my home
tearing you down –
the wind is screaming.

you should have listened to the flashing screen.
how we never listen until it finally happens and it's too late (drabble lol)
rom Sep 2017
heto nanaman ako,
iniisip ka, sinta.
heto nanaman ako,
nagpapakatanga
iniisip kung bakit hindi maaring maging tayo
iniisip kung hanggang kailan ako masasaktan,
hanggang kailan ko mararamdaman
ang makapinsalang tatak ng pagiging isang matalik na kaibigan (lamang).

**** sabi nga sa akin, sinta:
ilang luha pa ba ang aking iaalay
ilang malulumbay na kanta pa ba ang aking pakikinggan
ilang tula pa ba ang aking isusulat
bago kita makalimutan nang tuluyan
bago kita mamahal sa paraan ng pagmamahal nila sa isang kaibigan
bago kita tuluyang mapakawalan?

heto nanaman ako, sinta:
iniisip ka
nagpapakatanga
at naghihintay na iyong sabihin,
"biro lang, sinta."
rom Sep 2017
only when the rivers stop flowing,
the arctic winter bears a sapling,
and the earth becomes a constellation in the sky,
only then will you be erased from my memory;
only then will i forget my home.
i can never love you the way one loves a friend, but i will never stop trying to – for your sake and mine.
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