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Dec 2013 · 609
Apparently
psamps Dec 2013
Apparently I am just as hopeless as my sister.
I have realized that through all that worrying about her,
having my parents constantly crying,
preoccupied with my sister’s problem,
I have fallen through the cracks.

I am supposed to be the good daughter,
the one who doesn’t mess up,
and the one who doesn’t disappoint.
I have constantly had that weighing in the back of my mind,
every second,
everyday.
Every shot I take, every beer I drink, every puff, puff, pass,
I am heading, full speed to the same place my sister is now.
Every night I wish that I were back home,
back in second grade where you didn’t want to drink,
thought it was a strange and mysterious thing adults did.

I fear every night,
in the few minutes before the world is shut out and my dreams take over,
that I will have the same feelings as my sister,
the small thought that you don’t belong.

A thought that grows and grows when showered in alcohol and fertilized with ****.
Nov 2013 · 578
Below
psamps Nov 2013
I am jealous of the man
Three floors below.
The one outside on his hands and knees
In the dirt
The wind rushing through his trimmed hair,
As he digs his hands into the earth
Leaving behind flower bulbs.

I am jealous of the child
Three floors below.
The one in the stroller with hands
Clasped around a cone
The ice cream dripping down to elbows,
The child smiles endlessly.

I am jealous of the world
Three floors below.
The endless movement
The endless noise
The endless thoughts.
I am jealous of the world.
Nov 2013 · 443
Insert Title Here
psamps Nov 2013
I though I saw you
I thought I heard your voice
But then
I remembered.
I don't know how it went,
I don't know how,
But I forgot.
Your voice,
Your soul,
Your heart.
I forgot.

I thought I saw you
In your leather jacket and tweed cap.
My breath caught
My eyes watered.
It wasn't you.

I thought I saw you
But I forgot.
Lost
Oct 2013 · 567
I Can't
psamps Oct 2013
The loud silence overwhelms us
The last of our conversation
Still echoes in our heads
Tension spreads
Eyes wander, heads turn.
There are still things to be said
But there is only so much that can be done
To drown the silent words
That float endlessly
Across our minds...

— The End —