My son took me for a walk to the moon.

Leaving our house on a warm night, in June.

The owls they hooted in woods we passed,

Our senses alive, we, hurried on past.

Bats whistled by as they flew high and low.

Creatures hunting in the midnight glow.

By and by we reached a small town,

I gave a yawn my son gave a frown.

We were quiet as mice as foxes played,

Raggedy creatures with red coats frayed.

Our mouths watered on city lit streets,

Bakers rise early to make special treats.

As we wandered on by scents filled our heads,

Neither of us ready to yet face our beds.

But soon it was time to hear the dawn chorus,

Glorious birdsong sang just for us.

The sun did rise and the moon recede

I admitted to sleep I did need.

As daylight came, the moon lost it’s reign.

Stars faded away and white clouds came

Our eyes searched the sky for sight of the moon,

All trace of it gone our mission in doom.

We looked at each other, admitted defeat,

Sat down on a bench and rubbed tired feet,

Agreed to go home, to our beds, to find sleep.

Soon we got back, tucked up and fell deep.

In dreams we did fly to the moon and stars,

Circled round Saturn, felt the heat of Mars,

Travelled the Galaxy faster than light

Following our dreams, finding delight.

Don’t fall for me,
simply because
I will turn your kisses into similes
kissing you is like watching a sunset; slow, and beautiful.

Don’t tell me you love me,
simply because
your words will form metaphors in my mouth
you are a thunderstorm my heart is not ready for.

Don’t fall for me,
simply because
I am selfish,
every breath you take, every word you speak
I will find a way to turn that into a composition of letters and sounds
for my own purpose.

Don’t try to be with me,
simply because
I will try to trap you with my words
every space in my broken sentences will be filled with thoughts of you.

Stay with me,
I’ll turn your existence into a poem
stay with me,
I’ll engrave your name into my verses
stay with me,
stay with me,
stay with me,

so I don’t have to turn my heartache into a poem of sorrow once again.

I have not felt at ease with the world in a while,
but that has changed,
simply because
you are my world now
everything I do,
I do for you.

So this is a warning;
don’t fall for me,
simply because
I am a thief who is good with words,
*I will steal your love
and turn it into stories of malignancy and almosts.

We never spoke of love.

We spoke of cosmic miseries;
we spoke of falling statues;
we spoke of unsolved mysteries,
of the prevailing cultural attitudes.

We spoke of miscommunication
and Comedy and Tragedy as brothers;
we spoke of being lost and broken,
yet healed at the hearths of others.

We spoke of Winter's silent war
and how the Sun scared us both;
we spoke of wanderlust and bars
and how our lives were the funniest jokes.

We spoke of possibility,
in coded symbols and allegories,
of all the universes we wish we could be,
of all the things we'd do with wings.

We never spoke of love,
and yet,
somehow,
it's all we ever
talked about.

Dahil ginusto **** igawa kita ng tula,
Tulad ng nararamdaman ko,
Igagawa kita ng tulang nananaghoy,
Tulad ng pag tangis ko sa gabi,
Igagawa kita ng tula,
Tulad ng mga rosas na pinitas ko sa hardin,
dahil wala akong mapag-alayan,
Bukod sa puso kong namatay na,
Igagawa kita ng tula na nahahapis,
Tulad ng pag daloy ng ulan saking mukha,
Dahil hindi mo hinayaang mahalin kita,
Ni hindi mo binigyan ng tsansa,
Kaya igagawa kita ng tulang banayad,
Banayad tulad ng nabasag na salamin,
Igagawa kita ng tula,
Tulad ng nag iisang bituwin na tinatabingan ng ulap... paalam na..

"Paalam na mahal." Yan ang huling katang narinig ko mula sa iyong bibig, ang mga salita na tila mga kutsilyong namutawi sa aking dibdib. Naalala ko ang araw ng ating pagtatapos, ang sabay nating pagsaksi sa takipsilim, ang unti-unting pag-angat ng buwan, at ang paglangoy ng mga bituin na tila mga isda sa ating paningin. Mahal. Oo, mahal pa rin kita, ikaw ang natatanging tama sa aking mga pagkakamali, ikaw ang rason sa likod ng mga bakit, ikaw ang ngayon sa tanong na kailan. Oo, ikaw, ikaw na minahal ko ng matagal na panahon at ngayon ay nilisan ang piling ko, sana nakinig na lang ako sa nanay ko, sana binuksan ko ang tenga ko para sa mga sermon ng ate ko, at sana nakita ko ang mga babala tungkol sayo. Ang tanga-tanga ko. Oo, ang bobo ko, sana nakinig na lang ako sa mga payo ng kaibigan ko.

I.
Patawad at salamat sa tula;
Kasi ikaw lang ang natatakbuhan ko,
Kapag mabigat ang damdamin ko.
Kapag pakiramdam ko; iniwan na ako ng mundo.

II.
Patawad at salamat sa tula;
Kasi ikaw ang kumalinga sa akin,
Sa tuwing ako’y lumuluha,
At sa tuwing ako’y may naisip iparating.

III.
Patawad at salamat sa mga salita;
Kung ika’y nagiging panakip-butas.
Sa tuwing ako’y tahimik sa sulok,
Ngunit may gustong ibulaslas.

IV.
Patawad at salamat sa’yo;
Kung hindi dahil sa iyo,
Baka tuluyan ko nang di maipahayag--
Ang aking sarili gamit ang tula sa mundo.

It makes me look weak,            
                        My tears leaks…      
                My eyes are sore          
        My heart is a bore          
  and My body repeats a painful encore.              

                  I dust away the sad memories,                                        
but it comes along like it’s my adversaries.                  

I hate sadness
It shakes my reality, a piercing faithfulness
                towards my soulful unhappiness.

I don’t need help,
    but in truth I am lying to myself.

You’ll never know, what comes and goes
    yet I am stuck between my toes.

I hunger for that light
    but all that comes is my arresting night.

Perhaps I am doom with my own gloominess.
Starvation and Weariness
                  is a consolation of my messiness
~ a choice with laziness,
         to ponder and wonder
                    to the world’s unending sadness.



*© Pax  September, 2013