He came over...
We spoke...
One of the few
Blasts from my past
Red wine
Poured out in a glass
In substitution
Of how I poured
My heart out
To potential
Which did not last...
At last...
We spoke.
And what I thought
For a split second
Could be some kind of
Re-ignition to my fine
Cashmere woods scented
Candle wax...
Instead became an unsteady flame
Over a firmly molded
Candle frame
Of a woman...
Who has had enough.
We spoke...
About what he saw as a memory
I saw as trauma
And there was no more tears
To be cried
Over his baby mama drama
And that his words
Fell on deaf ears
When he said he can lend an ear
Because a promise is that to a fool
And a fool...
I no longer bared...
I am in love...
And although that love
Had not come alive
And although that love
Is what I will seek
Till the day I die...
And that love is the only love
Worth years of tear drops
From my eyes...
I am in love...
We spoke...
I never meant to end up so cold
I never meant to make your ego
Feel like a joke
I didn’t even mean
To invite you to my home...
But at last...
We spoke
No longer my Prince Charming
This princess was now
Anointed as Queen
And this Queen awaits a true King
And it takes more than a hug
And a kiss on the cheek
To make me weak
It takes more than
You telling me of my beauty
Which took me your absence to seek
... your assurance my darling...
I **** sure don’t need...
I am in love...
With a man
Whose actions
Speak louder than his words
Who pushed me
Through my darkness
Who struck chords of movement
Who got me to love...
And actually mean it...
Who saw my poems...
AND ACTUALLY READS IT....
We spoke...
And in that moment
I realized...
I don’t need a title...
I just need to exist.
Don’t say it...
Feel it...
We have spoken. .

Dear daughter
Here’s my advice
To guide you in your future...
Stay pure...
No I’m not just saying it
Because it’s the
“Parent” thing to say
No I’m not just saying it
Because premarital ***
Isn’t ok...
No I’m not just saying it
Because you are my
one and only
Baby girl
I’m saying it
Because purity
Destroys darkness
In a filthy cruel world
Keep the potency
Of your innocence
Tuck between your shrine
If he doesn’t commit
Tell him to step behind
A queen in the making
An angel in disguise
An ezer for a real man
Who wants to own his light...
Dear daughter
Here’s my advice
To guide you in your future
Working for the man
Is not in your plan
And I wish I learned this sooner
You are strong, black and gifted
You are the backbone of this land
Don’t let this world profit
Off the hard work of your hands
Start your business with integrity
And never sell yourself short
I never want you to Slave like me
I want you to know self worth
And when they try to tell you
Your dreams won’t it...
And they make you want to cry
Tell them... I don’t dream
I promise

Dear daughter
Here’s my advice
To guide you in your future
Stay close to God
You are so brilliant
In your spirit
When you pray
God hears it!

I may fail you on some days
But understand
God will not
Know that when the world
Is crumbling
He is our Rock
He will hear all your cries
He will provide you with hope
And the tools you need in life
He will cover you in a latter rain
To help my beautiful rose
Outgrow the pain...
Dear daughter...
I don’t have it all figured out
But if I can save you
From the strife I faced
I have faith you will be alright

Duct tape...
My heart is like
Duct tape
My love may seem
Feeble
Minuscule
And very unnecessary
I am a tool
That seems to have no use
Till you need me
Then I become an adhesive
I can hold you together
Spiritually, mentally, emotionally
And if you’re lucky...
Physically
But then...
You will complain...
I don’t match your swag
I’m worse than a
Band aid
My grey color bores you
Now you’ve ripped me from you...
Duct tape...
As strong as I’ve been
Holding onto you...
Is as strong I’ll be
Once you remove me from you...
And I will NEVER hold onto you
Again
So every time you fall apart
Spiritually, mentally, emotionally
And if you were lucky
Physically
You will want my adhesive to return
But it won’t...
I won’t
I never return
I am nothing more than duct tape
Feeble
Minuscule
And unnecessary
Till you see my love
Holding onto someone else

I don't want to fall in love,
I want to be in love,
I don't want to be head over heels,
I wanted to be perfectly healed.
I want to share this passion,
that's exploding through me,
with a man of the same caliber,
that doesn't mind,
exploring through me
That doesn't mind
Being mine
That doesn't mind
Doing what we were
sent here to do...
Love

Men...
I am in awe
At your lack of masculinity
Yes...
Lack of masculinity
As beautiful as the bridge of my nose
The way I highlighted and contoured
To create my perfect glow
The way I crease the wings
To increase my wings
To fly into your mind
As a beautiful woman being
You find flaw????
Flaw???
In me?
How dare you speak
On what you have not created
To tell me to enhance more
Than what God has created
How dare you see me
As any less
You are no longer Man...
You are peasant
With no respect
You tried to belittle
My essence
With your lack of neglect
To even be able
To drive these curves
Yet you want to see bigger breast??
I am grounded in a mine of gold
A diamond in the rough
A man never satisfied
Is clearly a man not good enough

“Where are the happy poems?”
Was the question I was asked
And you know...
I search my mind thinking...
‘Have i ever met a “happy” poet?’
Ive only ever met
the ones that made you feel
The ones that go through trauma
The ones that keep it real
I really wanted to say...
“Sorry, I can only write
That of which I can relate”
But as per usual
I gave a generic answer
That the world has taught me to do
In the past
“It’s coming soon”
With a smile emoji contradicting
My very attitude
And as I sit back
And analyze the human race
I realize we are the only species
That need a PhD
In the debate
Of listening...
We have to be clinically diagnosed
In order to be heard
We have to prescribe a pill
So the lonely
Can conform to this world
Your depression is only accepted
When you have a verified check
“Suffer in silence”
Are the words
That continue
To **** me softly
Just like
“Take it how you want to I don’t care”
“Everyone has their own lives”
“I’m too busy”
I’m busy
I’m busy
I’m busy
“Korina you’re ******* clingy”
Not knowing that My “clingy”
Was clinging for dear life
Climbing from darkness
In desperate need to find the light ....
“Suffer in silence”
Were the words
I heard from my peers
friends and family
Who spoke before they listened
Who were too busy to loan an ear
“Suffer in silence”
When ignorance blocked their vision
I had to learn to understand them
Before they could ever understand me
Before I could ever understand me!
“Suffer in silence”
Was what suicide spoke
Russian roulette with Tylenol
And spin the the bottle with patron
“Suffer in silence”
When I asked for support
In goals that I seek
To create my own foundation,
Just to get left on “seen”
“Suffer in silence”
As I put out
My most dangerous thoughts
Demons stampeding through my brain
Fasting as I fought
“Suffer in silence”
Scrolling past “seek help” signs
And Call some
“speak to a stranger” hotline
“Suffer in silence”
As I gave my life to God  God... GOD
Thank GOD
I Don’t know why I’m here
But this sad lost poet
Was built from a girl who refused to share
My life with the devil
Refused that trip to hell
Refused to leave my baby girl
With abandoned tears
Suffer in silence ....
As many of you read these words and think
You’ve read liked and commented
And has no idea
That I was suffering
Till this very year...
Or maybe you knew...
And just didn’t care

Dear “Dad”
And as I should...
I trust you...
I trust the imagination of you
Running up to my school
Protecting me saying “Don’t let nobody pick on you”
I trust the imagination
Of the strength in you
When I was 18
with my kidney
Trying to fail me...
That you lifted me to your car
And drove me to emergency
I trust at 21
You were there to guide me
And tell me...
My baby won’t have no baby
With a man who gave no ring
I trusted the phantom
Of you... at 22...
When I felt my ugliest
And postpartum
Gave me clues
To missing puzzle pieces
That unleashed
all my demons
That you’d come
And pray for me
You’d come and
Show me peace..
You’d help me find relief
I trust.. at 25...
What a time to be alive
That i’d finally search
For that man
That resembled my dad
Now at 29
I... searched... and searched
And could not find
Of course cause i
had no clue ...
A woman who knows not a father
Can’t know what a man is too...
I trusted you first...
Yet you continue to
break my heart last...
But I’m finally learning
I forgive you
Dear “Dad”

There’s an emptiness
That lies between
The lines
Of my lies
You know that famous
“You ok?”
And i lie and say
“I’m fine”
I’m forcing myself
To live without love
But I can see
Myself fading
From the lack there of
I’m fine
‘Nah I’m not depressed
Nah I’m not crying every night
Nah I don’t need the support
From friends to fuel my light
Nah I don’t need prayers
Or a man to hold my hand’
As I lie some more
I die some more
Watching my own ****
Hit the fan
I’m fine
I don’t drown my liver
In alcoholic narcolepsy
I don’t pray for
Death to
Come and set me free
I don’t question God
On why I’m here
I’m as chipper as can be’
I’m fine
....
I am fine

- Prima Poetess

I have always felt alone
In a sense where
I can’t really depend on
Another human to catch me
If I REALLY FALL
I can’t really say
I have a life line
I can’t really pull that parachute
Two times
I can only tell my secrets
In parts and Intervals
I can only share
What anyone is willing to hear
I can only feel
What makes sense to everyone’s ears
I can only heal...
The parts of me that
Are not real...
Alone...
I am deprived of self expression
To make others around me
More comfortable
To be around
Me
Alone...
I am surrounded by
More talk of death
Than life
I am reminded of
My failings and strife
Alone...
I am only loved
When the time is right
Note that loved is
Past tense
As I write
Alone...
I am easily forgotten
Till I pop up in the k section
Of a phone book
But before you dial
You have to see
“how good she looks”
Alone...
I have to think more with my brain
And less with my heart
I guess to be less humane
As a human
Is the perfect way to start...
Alone.

-Prima Poetess