there are a million reasons not to love you but all i can think about is how empty i am without you

everything you have done to me has made me lose myself just a little bit more

all the compromises of my moral compass and changing my plans to accommodate your needs and

your words hit me like killer rain, tumbling down on me, sending me into a spiral of self-deprecation and insecurity

now when i see myself in the mirror i wonder

who am i without you

because suddenly the girl with the brown hair and her eyes a little too far apart and her smile a bit wobbly doesn’t satisfy the mirror anymore without you on my arm

you have given me a thousand empty promises and forgotten kisses and words that hit like punches that should have made me turn around and slam the door but instead i just stay and stay and stay,

my apologies getting caught in my throat like a bullet, suffocating me until i forget how to be happy without you in the first place

my heart throbs because the fingers you have wrapped so tightly around my heart are squeezing and squeezing and squeezing and my head feels like a giant is sitting on it because suddenly i can’t think about anything but

how sad i am. how hurt i am. how lost i am and somehow no one can lead me back to my sanity except for you but you are the root of my destruction

all of my problems lead back to you but somehow in some twisted-messedup-tangled-type of way you are the only person who can solve them

there are a million reasons not to love you but instead everything i do is to make sure you stay.

Sapphire waves remember the story
when the sky was painted in royal blue
and made your gaze more of a dream than a memory
while the moon reflected into you

Suddenly you looked at me
and tears fell from your violet eyes
for your heart was not filled with glee,
yet I noticed what your white tears could symbolize

So, into the deep see I dived,
sinking and swimming
while for your happiness I strived,
in the dark water, tumbling and falling

After I found my answer
and you reached with your fingers
inside my picked up silver oyster
I saw you smile as you gathered a handful of pearls !

Please come to me,
maiden, so honorably fair
For you are the
most beautiful rose
in my forest

Please come to me,
maiden,  so honorably fair
For you shall grow in my garden
but with no sunlight
nor spring water

Please come to me,
maiden, so honorably fair
For your tears will soon be forgotten
when you submit to the earth underneath

Perhaps it was the melody
of winter's eternal repose
and her ****** lips
shamed the odious rose
But when approached by Death,
the girl sobbed and sobbed underneath the thorns
until she released  her last breath
Still Death could only hear wind chimes
as he lingered upon the frozen breeze
in those forgotten nighttimes

Far away
in the forbidden
forest of thoughts,
where i often forget
to remember again.
I can see burning autumn
leaves that gently dance in
the breeze, creating a swirl
of golden memories.
And watch the unspoken words
lapping beside glowing faces.
Listen to the trembling voices,
Tired and wondering
If I was by their side.

*,, Do not hide,
for in the morning we can
take the chance by flying away,,

Was my life meant to be like this?
I have a beautful boy made of stars in front of me
I won't let him go

I hope he lets me stay

He's touching me
Touching my heart with his eyes
His voice is a melody
He is art.

Oh no
I should've known this would happen
This beautiful boy.....
He's breaking my heart

He's kissing me again
But he left me?
He's not mine but am I his?

This body, this mind, this heart, these veins in which pump my blood,
I'd give it all if he asked.

Is this love?
What is this?
Help me
I'm lost, and scared
And
     Confused

This red sanctuary of want guides me through
the sacred breeze - memories of autumn
leaves flying and kissing against trees in
the moonlight. I am backwards in motion
yet forwards with my words, so listen to
the green winter as I give you the wild
despair that is my everything.

Once upon a time
or "Once upon a Midnight Dreary
As I pondered Weak and Weary"
I thought of life and of a great many things
I thought of who I thought he was
He charmed me
And half the other girls
My best friend was right
I didn't listen
I could only think maybe
just maybe
I could finally have a chance at what seemed everyone else had
I was wrong
Dreadfully wrong
He told me stories of what he "Used" to be
I was blinded
I didn't think of consequences
He charmed me
and when I couldn't be with him
He dropped me
Not a few days later
I find he is with someone else
He never liked me
He fooled me
But I thank him
For he opened my eyes
That maybe, someone else cared for me  
Someone who wouldn't just flatter and move on
Somone who I didn't see until now
And surprisingly this boy
When he came and went
Gave me hope